I reconnected with a really good friend today after a really long time. Being far away from home I tend to lose touch with some close friends for short periods of time. But I’m very blessed to be able to pick up where we left off with most of them.
This one was interesting and made me reflect again on where we are and put things in perspective, which I think I needed. Most times I approach people who aren’t infertile as though they have no problems in life. As if I’m the one who has to be accommodating and understanding when they don’t know anything about infertility. I have to explain all the steps and be gracious in doing so.
Today was a bit of an eye opener. First she asked me if it was okay if she asked if we were still trying. I hadn’t been asked in this way ever and I missed her instantly because I remember how compassionate she’s always been. I went on to explain where we were and she said said she’s holding thumbs for us.
Then she told me that her brother and his wife have to do in-vitro as well. It turns out her sister-in-law had cancer and had banked her eggs. She’s been okay for the past 3 years and from what I gather they’ll be doing ivf soon.
This definitely brought me back down to earth. Yes, our situation is dire but we only have to deal with one shitty bag of lemons. Imagine battling cancer then when you’re a survivor having to battle infertility too.
My heart goes out to my friend’s brother and his wife. I hope they’re successful and only have to do it once. I really need to count every single one of my blessings and I can’t go around assuming I’m the only one in a group who’s the worst off. I feel like sometimes when people complain about their problems I just think “really? well, I can’t have kids naturally” and that’s not cool. It’s almost like a twisted kind of elitist behaviour and it doesn’t sit well with me.
Everyone has problems. In their world their problems are real and shouldn’t be discounted. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who always puts others’ feelings before mine but I think there’s been a bit of a disconnect between thought and deed lately. Hmm, the universe has brought me back to earth once again. Thank you kindly, sir.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of not drinking to do for the rest of the night.