August Favourites

Before I get into it I have mini update. I finally got through to the infertility urologist and made an appointment for the 26th (4 weeks bleh!) and I also made and appointment for a second opinion. Same clinic, different RE. I’m going to see if I can get another second opinion appointment at another clinic on Tuesday. But we’ll see.

Phew, it’s been a while since I’ve done this. It’s been a while so there are quite a few faves.

Waterpik
I bought this shortly after getting my braces and I absolutely love it!! I’m not going to lie, I hate brushing my teeth. I love having clean teeth and fresh breath but I find brushing my teeth tedious and it usually takes up time I could use for something else. And now with braces I’m forced to brush way more often. I was skeptical about the waterpik because it was just another tool to take up time but I love it. I look forward to the night time brush because of it. The braces have not been easy and I love my teeth feel after waterpik’ing. Definitely a great purhase.
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Instant Pot
I’ve had my eye on this thing for a long time now and N bought it for me for my birthday. Granted, I’ve only used it once but it is fantastic. I made a boneless leg of lamb in under an hour and it was magical. If you love kitchen gadgets then this is a must-have.
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Adidas sneakers
I bought these in New Hampshire. BOGO 50% off. I am so happy to have adidas back in my cupboard again. The blue ones especially, since they go with everything.

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Look at me being fancy with the shoe placement

World Map Art
I found this at Marshalls. I have no eye for decor but I love this. I can’t wait to put it up when we redo the tv room.
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My Nose Ring
Best purchase this year. It’s healing nicely. Doesn’t hurt at all. I’m in love!

Devacurl – SuperCream Coconut Curl Styler
I’ve been using this for a few months and I only realized how much I love it when I tried something else that paled in comparison. It does everything a curly girl could dream of. Defines my curls perfectly. It’s a cream so no scrunching the gel cast off when my hair dries and my curls are super soft. It really is my favourite hair product right now. It’s pricey at $20 but worth it.
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Derma Doctor BB Cream
Another product I’ve been using for a few months that I only realized I love after it ran out. This stuff is fantastic. The sales lady told me that it supposedly changes colour to match your skin tone. I don’t know if that’s true but it works. I don’t like wearing full foundation make up and this does everything I need it to do makeup-wise. It’s $38 at Ulta but lasts over a year which is perfect if you’re someone who doesn’t wear a lot of make up.
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Frozen Sangria
I know summer is over but this drink deserves the best summer drink award. For sure. It’s fruity and boozy and refreshing. Thank you pinterest for keeping me tipsy. Here’s the link for a recipe. http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/frozen-sangria-recipe/

Moscow Mule
Raving about the frozen sangria made me feel guilty for neglecting to mention my other go-to summer drink. Okay now I want a drink.

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This is from when I made a frozen one

Cumberland Farms Honey Flavoured Cheese Curls
I wish I had a pic of these. I can’t find it on Google. Anyway, I’m big on salty-sweet flavours and this is right up my alley. Love love love!! If you have a Cumberland Farms in your area, your should try it.

Lemon Cream Sauce
We eat a lot of fish or seafood here. After all this time I never thought to sauce my fish. And it’s so easy. I do this all the time now. Just butter, garlic, whipping cream, lemon juice and any spice that tickles your fancy.

TV Shows
Shameless: Obsessed with this show. I can’t wait for it to come back next month. Lip is the love of my life.
Ray Donovan: I want to marry Ray
Orphan Black: Just started it. The main actress is phenomenal
The Night Of: The first episode is fantastic and by the end I just hated everyone lol
Chelsea: My girl is back on Netflix. Life makes sense again.

The Internet
Not the actual internet. This is a group I stumbled across on Spotify a while back. They have a jazzy, soulful sound. I can’t get enough. Great relaxing, light summery music. And this one song in particular really helped me after our last failed cycle. It features Yuna who is also worth listening to. Her voice is so soulful. Here’s the song. It’s called Sunset.
My other faves of theirs is Girl, Dontcha, Red Balloon, Go With It and Missing you.

Thanks for reading this long ass post! Happy September!

 

 

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January Favourites

I, too, am posting a few of my favourite things to break the monotony of IVF treatments. I wanted to post this a before February but yeah. So here are a few things I’ve been obsessed with this past month.

1. Face brush thing: My skin has been atrocious since starting IVF meds. It’s been depressing so I bought this thing at Sally’s for $23 along with lots of masks. I’m trying to use it every night. But I love how it makes my skin feel. Well worth the price tag for this cheapskate.

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2. Shea Moisture Sensitive Skin Moisturizer: I’m obsessed with Shea Moisture. I’ve been using their hair and skin products for years and I’m in love with it. This moisturizer is no different. I love that they use ingredients you can pronounce. I got this at Target. I’m so happy.

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3. Cast Iron Skillet: I’ve always wanted one of these. I got this one for Christmas but only used it this past month and I’m 100% sold. I don’t want to use anything else. I feel like a professional chef hahaha.

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4. Vented Blow Drying Brush: You guys! This thing has changed my life. Now that it’s winter I’m dropping the curly look for straightened. I usually blow dry with a boar’s hair round brush and then use my flat iron and my ends were suffering badly. I decided to try this and I haven’t used my flat iron since. I can safely say this is my best purchase of 2016 so far. So happy!

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5. Cellphone cover: This is just a silly purchase I made that I love. It’s probably going to break soon and destroy my phone but look how cute! The wine moves! Ack!!

6. Oil Diffuser: Another Christmas present I’ve started using recently. I only have lavender oil so far and I’m doing some research on what’s good for ivf (if you have tips,  please help). But I think it’s pretty awesome so far. Love! Not the best pic.

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7. Mead!!: Honey wine! You usually find them at old timey fairs or Medieval Times. I got a groupon for a meadery tour to try this stuff. It wasn’t so much a tour as it was me and N in a room with the guy who makes the mead and he told us how he made it and we got to try and buy some. I’m a big fan now. This brand is very yummy. It tastes a like sherry but better.

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8. Long Sleeve Sweater: Nothing special about this but it was cheap and it feels amazing. I want to live in it.

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9. Zhu: If you don’t like house music then skip this final one. I stumbled on this album on Friday actually and haven’t stopped listening. Something’s finally bumped Adele off the number one spot for me.

G’bye Beer… For a bit…

I don’t have an official calendar from the clinic. Just some scribbles on a post-it. All my IVF information is mostly only post-it’s. I do transfer all the information to my calendar at home and my little diary in my bag. Just so it’s a bit more official looking. Here’s my latest post-it:

20141016_143304Basically, I have to be on the pill for 12 days (whoop!) then my suppression check (where they check to see if my ovaries and uterus are quiet and ready for stimulation) is on the 23rd. Before then I have to have a  pre-op physical to check my heart and lungs. Which I did, but what a story. Apparently I have to pay for a physical out of pocket unless I got my primary care physician… which I don’t have… because my insurance plan said it’s not necessary. Well, I guess it’s more necessary than I thought. I’ll get one soon. But I had to pay $150 to have it done at the walk-in. That dr is an absolute trip. An old lady who judges you behind the closed door then walks in all smiles. I can only laugh. She had some words with the nurse about why I didn’t have a PCP then walked in and acted as if the walls weren’t made of rice paper. Oh well. At least I’m physically fit.

credit: Madagascar

credit: Madagascar

I also had to call my insurance pharmacy place to get my meds delivered. They’ll be arriving next Wednesday on the 22nd and if my suppression is good then I can start injecting myself. Maybe that’s when it’ll start to feel real.

So, I know I should have been preparing my body for this a while ago. Luckily I don’t smoke or drink coffee. And I try to limit carbs as much as I can. It’s easier than it sounds until pizza Friday rolls around :). But I did make a promise to myself to quit drinking. This has been the most difficult thing to do so far. Yes it’s only been 6 days and I hardly ever drink during the week anyway but just the thought of not being able to makes me sad. And just our luck we have at least one party every weekend for the rest of this month. But I’m hoping to go alcohol free until after the retrieval. I probably sound like I have a drinking problem. I don’t care! This is who I am. The only motivation is the thought that every beer I say ‘no’ to means 1 healthy eggy. Obviously, not at all fact based but it helps.

Come on next Wednesdayyy!! Why is this week draaaggiiiing!

A Momentary Lapse of Composure

I’m annoyed right now. I think writing is cathartic and I’m hoping that the following run-on sentences will help me process my emotions. So we went to our follow up appointment today and I probably got the wrong impression because I thought I would get my plan of action today and actually I was hoping I would have something tangible to grab onto so that I know that this actually happening. I hate being in this pre-ivf limbo. It’s infuriating.

Please excuse the bad grammar, spelling, swear words… Here goes:

so…

I honestly in my heart of hearts thought we’d go there and sign all the paperwork and pay them the fucking 2grand we owe them and get this shit going.

we drove 1.5hrs and the GD doctor got there HALF AND HOUR late and then all he did was tell us the results of our tests WHICH WE KNEW!!!! so we walk in there and he’s like oh these are your test results. yes mofo, you call us with all the test results as they you get them. I know this shit. where do I sign?

so he’s like okay you have 2 choices, donor sperm or ivf with icsi and pgd. yes asshole we told you we don’t want to do donor sperm. we’re doing the latter. where do I sign?

no no.. we’re going to set up another appointment with me for an hour so we can go through the paperwork…

uh this paperwork… that’s in front of us now?
yes…
*blink* …
and you have to meet with our pgd nurse to discuss your pgd plan….
uhh the plan that we discussed with the genetics counsellor that you referred us to who sent you the plan that you have in front of you right now…???

yes that plan but it’s with OUR nurse….

*blink*

oh and we can’t seem to find a day when I’m in the office and the nurse is in the office. hahaha it may be a few weeks til we see each other again to discuss things that you already know and possibly not sign anything cos we like to make you spend money for office visits.

okay doc, sounds good. we’ll let ourselves out. eat a dick.

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*breathe*
Okay… okay…
I’m more annoyed at myself for not questioning him more. I don’t know why I get angry about this stuff after the fact. He could see I was annoyed and said that I wouldn’t be able to start this month anyway because I have to wait for my period next month. so it’s a mixture of me having unrealistic expectations and my body only being ready once a month. fuck nature.
apologies for the quality of that gif. it's how I feel now lol

apologies for the quality of that gif. it’s how I feel now

*breathe again*
I need to regroup. This journey isn’t something you can plan it seems and if I’m this upset about the first not-even-real bump in the road then I have some big surprises in store. I actually have some other big things going on in my life right now. Two of which are 2 trips home to SA for 3 weddings. 1 at the end of November and then again next year July for another 2, one of which is my brother’s wedding which I canNOT miss. So I don’t really know why I was so hard up to start this month anyway, I would have to miss my brother’s wedding if I happened to get pregnant this year.
Okay, I’m okay now. That was just momentary lapse of composure… The fact of the matter is that aside from staying healthy and on top of things that are in my control, the rest is really up to the fertility gods. So whatever man. I’m not going to worry about it anymore… I’m going to try :).
In other news… I turned 33 on the 21st. I didn’t have a for real party because I think those days are over. But I play kickball in a co-ed league with some friends from work and afterwards we usually go for a drink which is really one of the best parts of the week for me. We just happened to play on my birthday so I just made everyone come out drinking with me afterwards and I made hubby and some other friends go too. I had the best time. The parts I remember anyway. For some reason my birthday makes me emotional when I see all the love I receive on the day. I love love love my birthday and this one was up there with the best. I feel like after 4 years of being in a foreign country I’ve solidified a fantastic group of friends whom I treasure and wouldn’t change for the world and the fact that they all came out to celebrate with me confirms that the friendship isn’t one sided (lol) and that really is the best part of every birthday. Knowing that I am loved and I have people I can call my friends… Yes, yes, my insecurity is showing :). Here’s a tiny collage from the night. The watermelon was a gift. One of the players is a farmhand. I love it.
[edit: picture removed for anonymity]
Thanks for letting me vent. Happy Wednesday and baby dust to all my ttc sisters! You’re all at varying points in your journey and I’m following you all closely and sending out positive vibes and well wishes and I’ll pray if you need me to pray.