Fertilization Report

Four eggs were mature and two fertilized normally.

I’m wondering if it’s self preservation that has me disregarding these two already. I was mentally writing down what questions I’ll ask about moving forward when we go to our follow-up appointment. I’ve pretty much already given up on them.

I won’t hear anything from the clinic until Friday but I’ve already prepared for neither of them to make it biopsy. The thought of one or even both making it to Friday has not crossed my mind. And then after that, the chances of one or both passing PGD testing is completely out of the realm of possibility for me.

I really appreciate that everyone around me (yourselves included) are able to be positive and hopeful. That’s what this is all about, right? Rallying.

Anyway, I definitely think I’m self-preserving. I’ll need all this energy to get up and go again if I have to. I don’t have time to fight between hope and despair.

I hope I’m not coming off flippant or ungrateful. Let’s just say if, by some miracle, we beat all the odds and we happen to have a healthy baby from this cycle, you can be damned sure that child will be the most spoiled child on the planet so that I can make up for essentially turning my back on it today.

 

Advertisements

Miracles Needed

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 9
(Wednesday May 1)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur, 25iu Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=834.2; LH=2.03; progesterone=0.537; lining=9.5mm; Left Ovary=15.5, 16.6, 10.8, 8.2; Right Ovary=16.2

I really hope these 5 follicles are the best 5 follicles there ever were. These low counts are just not compatible with our history of shitty fertilization and dismal PGD testing results.

It’s miracle time, guys.

tenor

Emotional: Meh
Physical: Meh
Food: Chinese

Hitting the Wall

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 7 – Monitoring Day
(Monday April 29)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur, 25iu Cetrotide

Notes: estrogen=467.9; LH=4.39; progesterone=n/a; lining=8.8mm; Left Ovary=13.1, 13.6, 9.4; Right Ovary=14.4

Man, these results are frustrating me. Still only 4 follicles and they’re getting too big for more to catch up, in my opinion, but my estrogen is only up 200ish. I’m having a hard time reminding myself that every cycle is different. Maybe my body isn’t used to the barrage of hormones after this long of a break.

We added Cetrotide last night. I don’t remember the needle being that long. It drew a lot of blood.

I’m not liking this cycle so far. It started off good but now I’m not so sure. N was trying to be reassuring yesterday but I’m just meh.  I know it’s still very early in the game but I don’t have a good feeling. And I’m already stressed about next cycle. I think we’re at max medication doses. What else could we do?

Emotional: Woe is me

Physical: Tired. I don’t like talking about CM but it’s there and it’s a lot. Sorry.

Food: I don’t remember lunch. Short ribs and cauliflower mash for dinner.

Quickie Update

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 6 
(Sunday April 28)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Notes: estrogen=209.7; LH=1.63; progesterone=0.251; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=9.9, 9.4, 6.8; Right Ovary=9.9

Nothing exciting. Again, writing yesterday’s post this morning and I had a not so good monitoring appointment this morning. I’ll update again once I get all the results from today’s test.

Last night was same old same old.

Emotional: Game of Thrones… that is all.

Physical: Still really so very tired. And crampy in the uterus. My pants is current unbuttoned.

Food: Hot dogs for lunch. Shrimp stir fry for dinner.

Bittersweet

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 5 – Monitoring Day
(Monday April 27)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Notes: estrogen=209.7; LH=1.63; progesterone=0.251; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=9.9, 9.4, 6.8; Right Ovary=9.9

The ultrasound tech who showed us Lucky for the first time did my monitoring appointment this morning. I asked if she remembered me and she said she remembered my name. And we had a good little chat. Turns out she also did IVF and has 25yr old twin girls. She’s really lovely. I was nice to chat with her but I was sad that the scan was over really quickly because I noticed that she didn’t count that many black circles. I only saw 3 that she measured.

There was a period of time, when we were deep in our cycles, when I’d resolved to go back to school to become an embryologist so that I could give back. The furthest I’d gotten in this venture was to ask an embryologist about what I would need to study and how long it would take. They were really nice about it but did say that you’re pretty much on call 24/7 because embryo’s don’t take weekends off. I still think it’s an incredibly awesome job and one that I think would bring my great fulfillment but I don’t know if I’m cut out. Anyway, my point was that I think it’s cool that the ultrasound tech is working there after going through infertility. I also have a friend who had triplets who were born at 26 weeks and she is now a nicu nurse after being an architect and I think that is just awesome!

I’m more than a little bummed with these low follie counts this morning. Only 4 on day 5. But my estrogen is still low at 209 and the nurse on the phone did say the results are excellent. So I guess everything is going well. Slow and steady right?

I went on a massive unnecessary but necessary shopping spree with friends B and K and Lucky today. There was a lot of walking and I had a lot of sharp pains in my ovary area. So I’m just laying on the couch now resting to the max. I would like to get a pedicure tomorrow. If not then more couch resting is in store.

Hope everyone’s having a good weekend so far!

Emotional: Trying to keep my chin up about the low follicle count Slow and steady dude!

Physical: Lots of sharp pains in my lower belly. Headache. Dizzy.

Food: Tuna melts for lunch, Ribs from Chili’s for dinner.

Success!

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 3
(Thursday April 25)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=13.30; LH=9.30; progesterone=0.228; lining=3.7mm; antral follicles=16 

Let the record show that I can do shots anywhere now :). Let the record also show that reclining seats at the movies is a great invention.

The movie was at 6:30. N was next to a single gentleman on his left and I was next to a young lady with her partner on my right. I’m sure she snuck alcohol into the theatre but that’s neither here nor there. At first I was worried about how I would hide whate I was doing from her but the seats were big enough and she was far enough away so it wasn’t an issue.

I got myself comfortable as soon as the movie started laying on my left side facing N, undid my jeans buttons and had my handbag and jacket make like a ring of protection around my tummy area.

It really wasn’t a big deal when it came to injection time at 8:30. It was dark enough to be discrete and light enough for me to see what I was doing. Easy peasy. I’d pre-mixed everything at home so it really was just point an click at that point. I did chuckle at myself when I went to stab in the Gonal-F and it would NOT go in. I tried 3 times. I panicked and told N the needle was too blunt! Then I realised that I’d forgotten to take the second smaller cap off the gonal-f needle. Lol. What a relief.

So yeah, all-in-all a good experience. Next I’ll try somewhere more challenging like evening rock climbing. HAHA.

Emotional: Saddish about random things. Not sure if related to hormones.

Physical: Still headachey but last night started feeling bubbles and pops in my ovary area so I think things are happening.

Food: Last night. Burger and fries (Lord I need to eat better) and popcorn.

Headaches!

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 2
(Wednesday April 24)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=13.30; LH=9.30; progesterone=0.228; lining=3.7mm; antral follicles=16 

I’m writing this with a day delay and it’s messing me up hahaha. Hopefully I’ll write tonight after the movie but it’s going to be a late one.

Thanks everyone for the awesome advice. I’m really grateful to be in a community who knows it might be a little nutso to do shots in the darkness of a cinema but understands the need :).

Last night’s shots went smoother so that’s good but this headache will not quit. I’m trying to stay hydrated and eat better but I don’t know what else I can do. It’s not crippling. Just annoying.

Nothing else to report. Will check in tonight.

Emotional: Avengers Endgame tonight! Woohooo!!!

Physical: So much headache and but sleeping really well.

Food: Last night. Honey BBQ steak tip sub for lunch. OMG amazing! and steak and broccolli for dinner.