Better Odds Than a Scratch Ticket

Wise words from my husband when I was complaining about how our little embryo had almost no chance of being normal and how the odds are so very stacked against it. We had a cycle already where we sent one for testing and it came back abnormal. But N remained adamant that this little dude embryo had beaten all the odds thus far and why wouldn’t it be normal?

Well, I won’t keep you in suspense much longer. Our embryo is a champion. A beautiful AA grade normal/balanced day 7 superhero! I could not be more proud and relieved. I can’t believe it!

The day was pretty busy yesterday. I didn’t have time to dwell on negative thoughts, thankfully. Dr P called at 6pm and my heart dropped when I saw “Private Number”. I tried to sense the tone of the phone call by the way the phone rang. I tried to sense the tone of his voice when I picked up but as usual he was impossible to read. And then he said “I have great news…” and I just melted.

N walked in halfway through the call and I just gave him a thumbs up and his face lit up. Lucky was next to me smashing his dinner into the table.

Of course, in this game, all good news comes with scary stats. These are new stats are quite scary. Since it’s a day 7 embryo, the odds of pregnancy being successful drop from 60ish% (if it were day 5 or 6) to 30%. But I’m trying to remember that day 7 embryos are a new thing and the sample of data they’re extrapolating from is small. I’m also trying to remember that Seven (the name I’m giving this embryo) is an absolute death defying superhero and it scoffs at shitty odds. So bring it!

Next steps are to call with my next period (Around June 11) and we’ll follow the same FET protocol as we did with Lucky. So a million weeks of birth control and Lupron and then estrogen and progesterone and a transfer around about the 23rd of July. We have a trip planned on the 25th so the timing will be interesting. But he did say we have wiggle room with the length of time for BC which is good.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we got this far. Wow. I’m so relieved. Thank you all so much for the prayers and positive vibes. We have another big ol’ mountain to climb but at least we can rest and take in the view for about 3 more weeks.

xx

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I Would Like a Drink

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 11
(Friday May 3)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur, 0.25mg Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=1603; LH=2.98; progesterone=0.633; lining=9.5mm; Left Ovary=21.6, 19.5, 13.5, 10.6; Right Ovary=21.6, 19.5

Can I just say that I forgot how awesome the ultrasound techs are. This morning I had A again and the first thing she said to me was “You don’t watch Game of Thrones do you?”. Uhh, instant best friends!!! Shit, that reminds me she pointed me to some youtube videos I should watch about each character and their development over the season.

I know some people don’t understand the obsession with TV shows and Movies but I am all about it and I love that it brings people together. My friends and I have whatsapp groups for movies and tv shows and I just got into a GoT fb group with some people from work so it’s opened up some lines of communication with some colleagues. And for someone who’s navigating living with social anxiety, it really helps to have something to talk about when you’re battling fight or flight responses to simply being in the same room with someone you don’t know that well.

But I digress.

6 little follicles trying their utmost. Come on little monkeys! I told my boss that we’re pretty much done with appointments and I’ll probably do retrieval on Monday and that it’s not looking good. He said “What about being positive?!” I said I was trying but I know how this works. He’s nice.

I don’t know. Maybe I should be more positive? Maybe tomorrow. I wish I could speak to Dr P directly. I want to know how he’s feeling about the cycle. I mean he has a million patients and I’m sure he’s barely glanced at my numbers, but I like to imagine him sitting at his desk with his head in his hands puzzling and puzzling about how he’s going to help us have another baby.

I just got the call with the information now and I have to do another night of shots and go in tomorrow for monitoring. That will be day 12 and hopefully the last day. I’m a little bummed because I have a long awaited hair appointment that I have to move again. Argh, so many greys! I need them gone! And I want to try a new summery colour too.

Alright. I’ve gabbed enough. Hopefully everyone has a fantastic Friday. Please have a glass of wine for me. Thank you.

Emotional: Ready to get these eggs outta here!
Physical: Headache is back. Geez.
Food: Seafood chowder!

Hitting the Wall

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 7 – Monitoring Day
(Monday April 29)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur, 25iu Cetrotide

Notes: estrogen=467.9; LH=4.39; progesterone=n/a; lining=8.8mm; Left Ovary=13.1, 13.6, 9.4; Right Ovary=14.4

Man, these results are frustrating me. Still only 4 follicles and they’re getting too big for more to catch up, in my opinion, but my estrogen is only up 200ish. I’m having a hard time reminding myself that every cycle is different. Maybe my body isn’t used to the barrage of hormones after this long of a break.

We added Cetrotide last night. I don’t remember the needle being that long. It drew a lot of blood.

I’m not liking this cycle so far. It started off good but now I’m not so sure. N was trying to be reassuring yesterday but I’m just meh.  I know it’s still very early in the game but I don’t have a good feeling. And I’m already stressed about next cycle. I think we’re at max medication doses. What else could we do?

Emotional: Woe is me

Physical: Tired. I don’t like talking about CM but it’s there and it’s a lot. Sorry.

Food: I don’t remember lunch. Short ribs and cauliflower mash for dinner.

Quickie Update

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 6 
(Sunday April 28)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Notes: estrogen=209.7; LH=1.63; progesterone=0.251; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=9.9, 9.4, 6.8; Right Ovary=9.9

Nothing exciting. Again, writing yesterday’s post this morning and I had a not so good monitoring appointment this morning. I’ll update again once I get all the results from today’s test.

Last night was same old same old.

Emotional: Game of Thrones… that is all.

Physical: Still really so very tired. And crampy in the uterus. My pants is current unbuttoned.

Food: Hot dogs for lunch. Shrimp stir fry for dinner.

Bittersweet

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 5 – Monitoring Day
(Monday April 27)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Notes: estrogen=209.7; LH=1.63; progesterone=0.251; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=9.9, 9.4, 6.8; Right Ovary=9.9

The ultrasound tech who showed us Lucky for the first time did my monitoring appointment this morning. I asked if she remembered me and she said she remembered my name. And we had a good little chat. Turns out she also did IVF and has 25yr old twin girls. She’s really lovely. I was nice to chat with her but I was sad that the scan was over really quickly because I noticed that she didn’t count that many black circles. I only saw 3 that she measured.

There was a period of time, when we were deep in our cycles, when I’d resolved to go back to school to become an embryologist so that I could give back. The furthest I’d gotten in this venture was to ask an embryologist about what I would need to study and how long it would take. They were really nice about it but did say that you’re pretty much on call 24/7 because embryo’s don’t take weekends off. I still think it’s an incredibly awesome job and one that I think would bring my great fulfillment but I don’t know if I’m cut out. Anyway, my point was that I think it’s cool that the ultrasound tech is working there after going through infertility. I also have a friend who had triplets who were born at 26 weeks and she is now a nicu nurse after being an architect and I think that is just awesome!

I’m more than a little bummed with these low follie counts this morning. Only 4 on day 5. But my estrogen is still low at 209 and the nurse on the phone did say the results are excellent. So I guess everything is going well. Slow and steady right?

I went on a massive unnecessary but necessary shopping spree with friends B and K and Lucky today. There was a lot of walking and I had a lot of sharp pains in my ovary area. So I’m just laying on the couch now resting to the max. I would like to get a pedicure tomorrow. If not then more couch resting is in store.

Hope everyone’s having a good weekend so far!

Emotional: Trying to keep my chin up about the low follicle count Slow and steady dude!

Physical: Lots of sharp pains in my lower belly. Headache. Dizzy.

Food: Tuna melts for lunch, Ribs from Chili’s for dinner.

Success!

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 3
(Thursday April 25)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=13.30; LH=9.30; progesterone=0.228; lining=3.7mm; antral follicles=16 

Let the record show that I can do shots anywhere now :). Let the record also show that reclining seats at the movies is a great invention.

The movie was at 6:30. N was next to a single gentleman on his left and I was next to a young lady with her partner on my right. I’m sure she snuck alcohol into the theatre but that’s neither here nor there. At first I was worried about how I would hide whate I was doing from her but the seats were big enough and she was far enough away so it wasn’t an issue.

I got myself comfortable as soon as the movie started laying on my left side facing N, undid my jeans buttons and had my handbag and jacket make like a ring of protection around my tummy area.

It really wasn’t a big deal when it came to injection time at 8:30. It was dark enough to be discrete and light enough for me to see what I was doing. Easy peasy. I’d pre-mixed everything at home so it really was just point an click at that point. I did chuckle at myself when I went to stab in the Gonal-F and it would NOT go in. I tried 3 times. I panicked and told N the needle was too blunt! Then I realised that I’d forgotten to take the second smaller cap off the gonal-f needle. Lol. What a relief.

So yeah, all-in-all a good experience. Next I’ll try somewhere more challenging like evening rock climbing. HAHA.

Emotional: Saddish about random things. Not sure if related to hormones.

Physical: Still headachey but last night started feeling bubbles and pops in my ovary area so I think things are happening.

Food: Last night. Burger and fries (Lord I need to eat better) and popcorn.

Headaches!

IVF ROUND 6

DAY 2
(Wednesday April 24)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=13.30; LH=9.30; progesterone=0.228; lining=3.7mm; antral follicles=16 

I’m writing this with a day delay and it’s messing me up hahaha. Hopefully I’ll write tonight after the movie but it’s going to be a late one.

Thanks everyone for the awesome advice. I’m really grateful to be in a community who knows it might be a little nutso to do shots in the darkness of a cinema but understands the need :).

Last night’s shots went smoother so that’s good but this headache will not quit. I’m trying to stay hydrated and eat better but I don’t know what else I can do. It’s not crippling. Just annoying.

Nothing else to report. Will check in tonight.

Emotional: Avengers Endgame tonight! Woohooo!!!

Physical: So much headache and but sleeping really well.

Food: Last night. Honey BBQ steak tip sub for lunch. OMG amazing! and steak and broccolli for dinner.