September Favourites

Gonna try to revive these monthly posts!  I don’t have too many this month I think. Let’s dive right in. I’m also adding a non-favourites category because it’s necessary lol. Actually let me start with the unfavourite because these posts always put me in a good mood and I don’t want to ruin it at the end.

Cell phone wallet cover combo thing
Just one this month but it’s a daily annoyance. I love how these look. My friend has one and it looks nice and easy to use and she like it but it’s really just annoying to me. Mostly because I like to keep my phone out and near me but I don’t want to have my purse near me as well. So I thought this would be good because the phone cover part detaches but it’s just an ugly useless cover then. My screen isn’t protected (It’s already shattered a bit but that’s a different story) and when I take the two apart the purse/wallet just looks ugly. I keep them apart mostly and i’m not a fan of that set up but keeping them together annoys me as well because then I have to again, take my purse out to send a text. I don’t know. I just was expecting too much I think. And I have a lot of cards. A lot and not all of them fit in this damn wallet so I have to put them separately in my handbag and that’s just not on. Okay that’s enough bitching and moaning. I’m in the market for a new wallet now and a new phone cover. Ugh.

Okay, on to the good stuff.


Wet Brush
You know I love my hair stuff. This is a brush my sister-in-law introduced me too. I didn’t expect much, goodness me, what a find. I took this picture late last night and didn’t feel like cleaning the brush so excuse the hair. Anyway, it’s a detangling brush so I’ve used it in the shower to distribute conditioner and I’ve used it out of the shower to help style. The bristles are so soft yet effective. It’s just a beautiful tool. I would say great for straight and curly hair. I paid $8 for it at Target. Love it!

Cremo Shave Cream
Stumbled on this one in Walmart in March sometime. They didn’t have what I was looking for so I thought I’d try something new. The lady behind me in the queue saw it in my basket and would not shut up about how awesome it is. She was right. You don’t need a lot and it creates a slippery lather. I suffer from chronic ingrown hairs on my legs (FML) and I believe this is what has made a big difference. My legs are way less ingrowny now which is awesome. And remember I said I bought it back in March. The tube is probably only half way now. I think I paid $6 for it.20171001_171729

Dominos App
I had to hide this app on my phone because it is dangerous. I love it because it takes care of my two favourite things. Food and not having to interact with strangers. N and I do pizza at least once a month, I would say, and I love that it has our orders saved so I can just open the app and click maybe 5 times and food magically appears at my front door. Why isn’t everyone doing this? More apps like this please, universe. Thank you!
Dunkin Donuts Hot Apple Cider

I’m sure there are better hot apple ciders out there. If you know of one please tell me but this is my benchmark for now. I like the cinnamon-y smell. Yummy.
TV Shows
90 Day Fiance – I’m so ashamed to say I love this show. It is absolutely terrible but we are hooked. It follows couples using the the K-1 visa (fiance visa) to be together in the US. It’s completely sensational but it really keeps us entertained. Maybe because we’re also in green card marriage. There are a few series running at the same time so there is a lot of crazy. Ugh, don’t watch it. Stick to the bachelor or something.

IT – Movies have been pretty lately IMO. But I really enjoyed IT. It wasn’t terribly scary but it was a good monster movie. Two thumbs up for me.

Daniel Caesar – My little cousin introduced me to him. He’s a Canadian singer who just came out with a new album (Freudian) that I’m obsessed with. It’s R&B mostly and his voice is like velvet and I just love him. Here are my 2 favourites from the album although it’s hard to choose

Calvin Harris – Feels
My friend reminded me about this one today. It will put you in a good mood. It’s great. Great for driving home from work on a Friday.







August Favourites

Before I get into it I have mini update. I finally got through to the infertility urologist and made an appointment for the 26th (4 weeks bleh!) and I also made and appointment for a second opinion. Same clinic, different RE. I’m going to see if I can get another second opinion appointment at another clinic on Tuesday. But we’ll see.

Phew, it’s been a while since I’ve done this. It’s been a while so there are quite a few faves.

I bought this shortly after getting my braces and I absolutely love it!! I’m not going to lie, I hate brushing my teeth. I love having clean teeth and fresh breath but I find brushing my teeth tedious and it usually takes up time I could use for something else. And now with braces I’m forced to brush way more often. I was skeptical about the waterpik because it was just another tool to take up time but I love it. I look forward to the night time brush because of it. The braces have not been easy and I love my teeth feel after waterpik’ing. Definitely a great purhase.

Instant Pot
I’ve had my eye on this thing for a long time now and N bought it for me for my birthday. Granted, I’ve only used it once but it is fantastic. I made a boneless leg of lamb in under an hour and it was magical. If you love kitchen gadgets then this is a must-have.

Adidas sneakers
I bought these in New Hampshire. BOGO 50% off. I am so happy to have adidas back in my cupboard again. The blue ones especially, since they go with everything.


Look at me being fancy with the shoe placement

World Map Art
I found this at Marshalls. I have no eye for decor but I love this. I can’t wait to put it up when we redo the tv room.

My Nose Ring
Best purchase this year. It’s healing nicely. Doesn’t hurt at all. I’m in love!

Devacurl – SuperCream Coconut Curl Styler
I’ve been using this for a few months and I only realized how much I love it when I tried something else that paled in comparison. It does everything a curly girl could dream of. Defines my curls perfectly. It’s a cream so no scrunching the gel cast off when my hair dries and my curls are super soft. It really is my favourite hair product right now. It’s pricey at $20 but worth it.

Derma Doctor BB Cream
Another product I’ve been using for a few months that I only realized I love after it ran out. This stuff is fantastic. The sales lady told me that it supposedly changes colour to match your skin tone. I don’t know if that’s true but it works. I don’t like wearing full foundation make up and this does everything I need it to do makeup-wise. It’s $38 at Ulta but lasts over a year which is perfect if you’re someone who doesn’t wear a lot of make up.

Frozen Sangria
I know summer is over but this drink deserves the best summer drink award. For sure. It’s fruity and boozy and refreshing. Thank you pinterest for keeping me tipsy. Here’s the link for a recipe.

Moscow Mule
Raving about the frozen sangria made me feel guilty for neglecting to mention my other go-to summer drink. Okay now I want a drink.


This is from when I made a frozen one

Cumberland Farms Honey Flavoured Cheese Curls
I wish I had a pic of these. I can’t find it on Google. Anyway, I’m big on salty-sweet flavours and this is right up my alley. Love love love!! If you have a Cumberland Farms in your area, your should try it.

Lemon Cream Sauce
We eat a lot of fish or seafood here. After all this time I never thought to sauce my fish. And it’s so easy. I do this all the time now. Just butter, garlic, whipping cream, lemon juice and any spice that tickles your fancy.

TV Shows
Shameless: Obsessed with this show. I can’t wait for it to come back next month. Lip is the love of my life.
Ray Donovan: I want to marry Ray
Orphan Black: Just started it. The main actress is phenomenal
The Night Of: The first episode is fantastic and by the end I just hated everyone lol
Chelsea: My girl is back on Netflix. Life makes sense again.

The Internet
Not the actual internet. This is a group I stumbled across on Spotify a while back. They have a jazzy, soulful sound. I can’t get enough. Great relaxing, light summery music. And this one song in particular really helped me after our last failed cycle. It features Yuna who is also worth listening to. Her voice is so soulful. Here’s the song. It’s called Sunset.
My other faves of theirs is Girl, Dontcha, Red Balloon, Go With It and Missing you.

Thanks for reading this long ass post! Happy September!



Feed Me, Seymour!

Let’s talk about food!

I’ve always tried to be healthy in preparation for and IVF cycle. I already don’t smoke and I don’t drink coffee or anything with caffeine for that matter. We all know I’m a big drinker but I always quit about a week or 2 before a cycle.

When it comes to food I’ve always tried to keep it low in refined carbs and lately we’ve tried like hell to cut out sugar. I even have a healthy Instagram account to keep accountable and all that.

But there are times when I fall off the wagon and when I fall, I fall hard. And since we’re trying to conceive I feel so guilty. Like guilty to the point where I think the cycle’s already ruined after one burger from Wendy’s or a giant Twix (or both.. You gotta have something savoury after something sweet right?). After the guilt has passed I start to get really angry. Why can everyone who can get pregnant on their own eat anything they want?? Why do I have to be extra healthy? It’s just not fair!!!

And then there’s the question of which diet is the best for fertility? I’ve read that dairy is good. Then I read that dairy is evil and Vegan is the way to go. “It Starts With The Egg” says Mediterranean Diet. Some RE’s say Ketogenic. There’s also Paleo. So I don’t really know what I’m doing. At home I’m about 90% low carb and no sugar (or what I call, Kinda Keto) but if I don’t meal plan or don’t have leftovers for work or that little monster in my tummy wants chocolate, then all bets are off.

After this last failure I went on a complete bender and I really haven’t even exercised. And yesterday I had dirty boxed mac n cheese and a giant Twix and I’m still feeling guilty about it. Did I just fuck up everything? Are these eggs already shit? Who knows.

I think it’s because I don’t buy that there’s a specific diet that’s good for fertility based on the fact there’s so many conflicting stories. Maybe you all can help me out, please. If you’re pregnant from IVF, what did you eat and what food or diet did you think was the golden ticket? And if you’re not pregnant yet, what are you eating in preparation for treatment?

What are your thoughts on fertility diets?



download (1)

February Favourites

We’re just going to ignore the fact that it’s mid-March, okay :). I don’t have many favourites from Feb anyway as I was still enjoying January’s favourites.
Foie Gras and Chicken Liver Pâté:
I mentioned before that I went to this restaurant and had foie gras for the first time and fell in love. I don’t like the word foodie, it conjures up images of snooty kids with scarves taking pictures of their meals and I also feel like you can only be a foodie if you enjoy expensive niche food in tiny portions. I love food but I do not discriminate. I will eat anything and everything at least once. I am a mac n cheese connoisseur and pizza aficionado. But I also hold a special place in my heart for truffle oil, oysters and now foie gras. They served it in a little jar with a layer of jam on top of it and the bread that it came with had walnuts and dried fruit in it. It was amaaazing! I never thought that jam would go with liver. I, of course, took some home as leftovers and had some the next day. Unfortunately, perhaps because I was floating on a cloud of foie gras happiness, I may have accidentally thrown the rest away. I don’t remember what I did with it and forgot about it until 2 days later at work. And I was so excited to get home to finish it off but alas it was no where to be found. I looked for it online and that’s when I realized how expensive it is… wow. But I had to get another fix and that’s when I decided to make chicken liver pâté instead. I had been sitting on this recipe for months from pinterest and I’m so glad I tried it out. It was delicious. I must’ve eaten pate for 2 weeks straight. The recipe makes a whole lot of pate and I still have a whole bowl left. Right now I think I’m tapped out on all things pâté for a while but that was a really fun discovery for me. I don’t know when I’ll be able to have some again but I’ll remember our time together fondly.

Chicken Live Pate


Bill Burr:
This is a tough one because I have so many favourite comedians but let’s just say Bill is my favourite for February. I think what makes him funny is that when he’s on stage it feels like he’s having a conversation with you and his descriptions of things is insanely funny. And he also really has no shame in his game. Him and Louis C.K. push the envelope with their material. Louis C.K. is the only person I found myself laughing until my sides hurt and I couldn’t breathe because he was talking about parents murdering their kids if murder was legal. But this is about Bill Burr. He has a cartoon on Netflix called F is for Family. I highly recommend it if you like his comedy. It’s only 8 episodes. I hope there’s a second season. He has some great specials on Netflix too. I love you Bill!
Jeggings from Rue 21:
I’m slowly falling very deeply in love with jeggings and skinny jeans. I struggle to find pants to fit my giant booty so when I found these I was over the moon. I bought 2 and I need to go back to get more in different colours. Not much else to say but jeggings ftw!!
This is it for February. I have some goodies for March. I’ll be sure to post on time! Hope everyone had a good February!! xxx

January Favourites

I, too, am posting a few of my favourite things to break the monotony of IVF treatments. I wanted to post this a before February but yeah. So here are a few things I’ve been obsessed with this past month.

1. Face brush thing: My skin has been atrocious since starting IVF meds. It’s been depressing so I bought this thing at Sally’s for $23 along with lots of masks. I’m trying to use it every night. But I love how it makes my skin feel. Well worth the price tag for this cheapskate.


2. Shea Moisture Sensitive Skin Moisturizer: I’m obsessed with Shea Moisture. I’ve been using their hair and skin products for years and I’m in love with it. This moisturizer is no different. I love that they use ingredients you can pronounce. I got this at Target. I’m so happy.


3. Cast Iron Skillet: I’ve always wanted one of these. I got this one for Christmas but only used it this past month and I’m 100% sold. I don’t want to use anything else. I feel like a professional chef hahaha.


4. Vented Blow Drying Brush: You guys! This thing has changed my life. Now that it’s winter I’m dropping the curly look for straightened. I usually blow dry with a boar’s hair round brush and then use my flat iron and my ends were suffering badly. I decided to try this and I haven’t used my flat iron since. I can safely say this is my best purchase of 2016 so far. So happy!


5. Cellphone cover: This is just a silly purchase I made that I love. It’s probably going to break soon and destroy my phone but look how cute! The wine moves! Ack!!

6. Oil Diffuser: Another Christmas present I’ve started using recently. I only have lavender oil so far and I’m doing some research on what’s good for ivf (if you have tips,  please help). But I think it’s pretty awesome so far. Love! Not the best pic.


7. Mead!!: Honey wine! You usually find them at old timey fairs or Medieval Times. I got a groupon for a meadery tour to try this stuff. It wasn’t so much a tour as it was me and N in a room with the guy who makes the mead and he told us how he made it and we got to try and buy some. I’m a big fan now. This brand is very yummy. It tastes a like sherry but better.


8. Long Sleeve Sweater: Nothing special about this but it was cheap and it feels amazing. I want to live in it.


9. Zhu: If you don’t like house music then skip this final one. I stumbled on this album on Friday actually and haven’t stopped listening. Something’s finally bumped Adele off the number one spot for me.

Trying to keep busy

Laying on my couch working from home today. The storm (Juno) has passed but my road hasn’t been ploughed properly so I’m not going anywhere.

Not much to update except I received a call from Freedom Fertility for my meds. It came to about $1,100 and I found a $50 off coupon for the Crinone so that’s good. If you don’t know this already, you can call 1-888-PROGEL8, press option 2 and they’ll email you a coupon for Crinone!!

I also booked an acupuncture appointment for Saturday. We went before we started IVF treatments but didn’t stick to it because it started becoming too expensive. I love love the doctor and I’m very excited to go back.

Other than that I’ve just been battling with the jealous monster. It’s a daily battle and it’s taking me longer and longer to get over it when it hits so I’ve been trying to keep myself super duper occupied so I don’t go onto FB or my ttc instagram or normal instagram for that matter.

I’ve been cooking and baking up a storm. Trying to cut down on carbs and refined sugar. I made carb free bread which was pretty gosh darn good. I also made paleo brownies with almond butter. Husband doesn’t like them but I think they’re yummy. Yesterday I made breakfast burritos. The tortilla was made with eggs and ground flaxseed, filled with salmon, onions and red pepper and guacamole. And today I’m going to make shrimp tacos with carb free soft tortillas again. I’m loosely following the 14 day meal plan from Paleo Grubs and I’m loving these recipes. I also found the best meal plan website called Yumprint to help me organize my recipes and it makes a grocery list for you and everything. Very excited about this new food venture.

I’ve also stopped flat ironing my hair in an attempt to get my curl back as I have a bit of heat damage. My new plan (read: pipe dream) is to start a curly hair instagram account and then when I have a good following I’ll start a curly hair youtube channel, then youtube will pay me a salary and I can quit my job. A girl’s gotta dream right? I have the account set up (@deescurls if you’re interested in curly hair pics) and I’m trying to get over my fear of selfies so I can get it going.

I have to get back to work now but here are some pics of the food I’ve made. Have a good day everyone!


not carb free, but who doesn’t love sushi.


paleo bread, get the recipe here


paleo brownies, get the recipe here

Is it Friday yet?

It seems as if time has slowed down to an annoying drip, oh my goodness! I am well in the thick of PGD test result limbo and it’s no fun.

Amidst all this baby business I completely forgot to be excited about our upcoming trip next Friday. My dear friends from back home are getting married on the 6th and my parents have so lovingly bought us tickets to go home for 2.5 weeks. Tickets were bought before we started this round and right now is something we desperately need. Usually, I would be packed by now but I can’t seem to get excited. I need to have this band-aid ripped off. I’m very irritable too and I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. But that could be coming off hormones or the fact that I’m low carbing again. Picked up a pesky 6lbs and I would like to be rid of them before we leave. AF also arrived today so that could be a factor as well.

This not knowing is killing me. I’ve made my peace with either outcome but the not knowing is torture and it’s turning me into a grumpy bum.

Anyway, here are 10 things I should be excited about in the next 9 days.
1. Mum-in-law’s 5 desserts for 5 people at Thanksgiving. She is the dessert queen and she always makes too much and I love it! I hope she makes tiramisu again.
2. Possibly putting up the Christmas tree this weekend.
3. Buying a dress for the wedding and getting secret santa gifts (I love xmas shopping)
4. Going home after not seeing my family and friends for 2 years.
5. Meeting my newest nephew, who’s already crawling around, and kissing his fat cheeks forever.
6. Kissing my other niece and nephew’s cheeks until they cry
8. A wedding! I love weddings!!! and all (save for 1 or 2) my peeps being in one city for the first time in a loooong time. We only seem to get together at weddings now. *sigh* but it’s going to be epic.
9. Carling Black Label (my favourite beer from home)
10. I’m going to see my loves in 10 days!!!
Bonus 11… Airplane food. I’m probably the only human who loves airplane food. I don’t know if it’s the food itself or the fact that it’s the only thing about a 13hr plane ride that brings me any joy. Battling motion sickness for 13hrs is always a laugh.

Okay, not going to lie, that helped. I need to print that and put it somewhere where I can see it.

I definitely still have a huge cloud of infertility hanging over me but I fully intend to ignore the shit out it the minute we leave the RE’s office next Wednesday at our follow up.

G’bye Beer… For a bit…

I don’t have an official calendar from the clinic. Just some scribbles on a post-it. All my IVF information is mostly only post-it’s. I do transfer all the information to my calendar at home and my little diary in my bag. Just so it’s a bit more official looking. Here’s my latest post-it:

20141016_143304Basically, I have to be on the pill for 12 days (whoop!) then my suppression check (where they check to see if my ovaries and uterus are quiet and ready for stimulation) is on the 23rd. Before then I have to have a  pre-op physical to check my heart and lungs. Which I did, but what a story. Apparently I have to pay for a physical out of pocket unless I got my primary care physician… which I don’t have… because my insurance plan said it’s not necessary. Well, I guess it’s more necessary than I thought. I’ll get one soon. But I had to pay $150 to have it done at the walk-in. That dr is an absolute trip. An old lady who judges you behind the closed door then walks in all smiles. I can only laugh. She had some words with the nurse about why I didn’t have a PCP then walked in and acted as if the walls weren’t made of rice paper. Oh well. At least I’m physically fit.

credit: Madagascar

credit: Madagascar

I also had to call my insurance pharmacy place to get my meds delivered. They’ll be arriving next Wednesday on the 22nd and if my suppression is good then I can start injecting myself. Maybe that’s when it’ll start to feel real.

So, I know I should have been preparing my body for this a while ago. Luckily I don’t smoke or drink coffee. And I try to limit carbs as much as I can. It’s easier than it sounds until pizza Friday rolls around :). But I did make a promise to myself to quit drinking. This has been the most difficult thing to do so far. Yes it’s only been 6 days and I hardly ever drink during the week anyway but just the thought of not being able to makes me sad. And just our luck we have at least one party every weekend for the rest of this month. But I’m hoping to go alcohol free until after the retrieval. I probably sound like I have a drinking problem. I don’t care! This is who I am. The only motivation is the thought that every beer I say ‘no’ to means 1 healthy eggy. Obviously, not at all fact based but it helps.

Come on next Wednesdayyy!! Why is this week draaaggiiiing!

A Momentary Lapse of Composure

I’m annoyed right now. I think writing is cathartic and I’m hoping that the following run-on sentences will help me process my emotions. So we went to our follow up appointment today and I probably got the wrong impression because I thought I would get my plan of action today and actually I was hoping I would have something tangible to grab onto so that I know that this actually happening. I hate being in this pre-ivf limbo. It’s infuriating.

Please excuse the bad grammar, spelling, swear words… Here goes:


I honestly in my heart of hearts thought we’d go there and sign all the paperwork and pay them the fucking 2grand we owe them and get this shit going.

we drove 1.5hrs and the GD doctor got there HALF AND HOUR late and then all he did was tell us the results of our tests WHICH WE KNEW!!!! so we walk in there and he’s like oh these are your test results. yes mofo, you call us with all the test results as they you get them. I know this shit. where do I sign?

so he’s like okay you have 2 choices, donor sperm or ivf with icsi and pgd. yes asshole we told you we don’t want to do donor sperm. we’re doing the latter. where do I sign?

no no.. we’re going to set up another appointment with me for an hour so we can go through the paperwork…

uh this paperwork… that’s in front of us now?
*blink* …
and you have to meet with our pgd nurse to discuss your pgd plan….
uhh the plan that we discussed with the genetics counsellor that you referred us to who sent you the plan that you have in front of you right now…???

yes that plan but it’s with OUR nurse….


oh and we can’t seem to find a day when I’m in the office and the nurse is in the office. hahaha it may be a few weeks til we see each other again to discuss things that you already know and possibly not sign anything cos we like to make you spend money for office visits.

okay doc, sounds good. we’ll let ourselves out. eat a dick.

Okay… okay…
I’m more annoyed at myself for not questioning him more. I don’t know why I get angry about this stuff after the fact. He could see I was annoyed and said that I wouldn’t be able to start this month anyway because I have to wait for my period next month. so it’s a mixture of me having unrealistic expectations and my body only being ready once a month. fuck nature.
apologies for the quality of that gif. it's how I feel now lol

apologies for the quality of that gif. it’s how I feel now

*breathe again*
I need to regroup. This journey isn’t something you can plan it seems and if I’m this upset about the first not-even-real bump in the road then I have some big surprises in store. I actually have some other big things going on in my life right now. Two of which are 2 trips home to SA for 3 weddings. 1 at the end of November and then again next year July for another 2, one of which is my brother’s wedding which I canNOT miss. So I don’t really know why I was so hard up to start this month anyway, I would have to miss my brother’s wedding if I happened to get pregnant this year.
Okay, I’m okay now. That was just momentary lapse of composure… The fact of the matter is that aside from staying healthy and on top of things that are in my control, the rest is really up to the fertility gods. So whatever man. I’m not going to worry about it anymore… I’m going to try :).
In other news… I turned 33 on the 21st. I didn’t have a for real party because I think those days are over. But I play kickball in a co-ed league with some friends from work and afterwards we usually go for a drink which is really one of the best parts of the week for me. We just happened to play on my birthday so I just made everyone come out drinking with me afterwards and I made hubby and some other friends go too. I had the best time. The parts I remember anyway. For some reason my birthday makes me emotional when I see all the love I receive on the day. I love love love my birthday and this one was up there with the best. I feel like after 4 years of being in a foreign country I’ve solidified a fantastic group of friends whom I treasure and wouldn’t change for the world and the fact that they all came out to celebrate with me confirms that the friendship isn’t one sided (lol) and that really is the best part of every birthday. Knowing that I am loved and I have people I can call my friends… Yes, yes, my insecurity is showing :). Here’s a tiny collage from the night. The watermelon was a gift. One of the players is a farmhand. I love it.
[edit: picture removed for anonymity]
Thanks for letting me vent. Happy Wednesday and baby dust to all my ttc sisters! You’re all at varying points in your journey and I’m following you all closely and sending out positive vibes and well wishes and I’ll pray if you need me to pray.

More needles…

I’m really happy about how quickly the blood test results got back to me. Not so happy about the actual results. Turns out my prolactin and tsh levels were a problem and they wanted me to go back this morning to get more blood. *sob*

I think this is the universe prepping me for what’s to come. I know I have to “man up” because this is only the tip of the iceberg but it hurts *whiiiine*.

In other news… If anyone’s keeping score, I’m officially out of the 21 day challenge at the office. I had a clam cake… and I regret nothing. Here’s my name on the white board of shame.

[edit: picture removed for anonymity]

Aaaand… I stopped doing Insanity for a while too. I’ve been suffering from some crazy headaches over the past few weeks. They’ve since gotten way better but doing hardcore workouts was not helping at all. I’ll pick it up again soon. Either that or I’ll just revert back to my old couch potato ways. Only time will tell.