Monday Thoughts

I always felt sad when TTC ladies get their BFP’s and fell off the face of the blogging world. I always said, I would never do that, but I’m finding it difficult to write. My main worry is hurting anyone’s feelings and also gushing too much about this little guy and how great life is now (it’s not 100% great but I’m clinging to the great bits) then having everything taken away.

I was talking to my friend about how I’m not enjoying this to the fullest because with these two thoughts at the front of my mind constantly I have not taken any bump pictures. I have not kept a record of anything. No weekly symptoms. No firsts. Nothing. And don’t even get me started on baby shower anxiety. And the sad part is that I’m forgetting. I didn’t even really keep track of my TWW symptoms and I’ve pretty much forgotten them all and when they started.

I used to love going back to my IVF cycles and re-reading everything that I wrote in painstaking detail. I’m bummed that I’ve been too scared to track this next phase.

And it’s not even about posting here or on Instagram. I have 3 empty journals where I can write some stuff down but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.

Anyway, upon reflection and talking to people I feel that fear going away slowly sometimes. I mean, I almost bought a pack ‘n play last week… Almost.

When I think about it, I know that some of you do want updates and those who don’t are probably not even reading this so I’m going to figure out how to post progress updates that don’t send out email notifications and I’ll have a section at the top with all of the updates. I  know it’s possible, if you know how can you let me know, please?

I think that way, I’ll have a record of what’s going on in my body so that I don’t forget while remaining a bit sensitive to anyone who would appreciate it.

 

 

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40 thoughts on “Monday Thoughts

  1. create a new page with baby updates? That wont be reflected as your blog post… you can mention in your blog post that you have updated the baby page with new pics etc?

  2. Don’t worry. I did the same thing. I still am lacking in updates for the same reason. But you are right, if someone doesn’t want to read it, they won’t! This is YOUR page!!

    Glad to hear things are well!

  3. I felt those EXACT same feelings!!!!!!! I have lacked in my updates a bit. At first, it was mostly out of fear of hurting those still in the trenches. Now it’s because my tiny boss has other plans lol but I feel you!
    & uhmmmm did I MISS YOUR BFP????? AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU I’M PRACTICALLY CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!
    XOXO ❤

  4. I think it’s really really considerate and shows what a truly wonderful human being u are. To put ur own joy aside because u know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of reading and thinking . Why not me?? I think starting another blog like a post infertility survivor would be great xxx

  5. I feel the same way. I am careful not to write anything I think might be a trigger on this space because it is an Infertility blog- I don’t want to forget that. I think a separate page or blog is a good idea. Also- I have about two weeks to go and still haven’t bought anything so I get that fear. Sending my love.

    • Two weeks to go?!! I’m so excited!!! Do you think you’ll post a birth story? I understand if you don’t but I love birth stories :). I can’t believe you’re almost at the end. I’m so beyond happy for you and I hope you’re feeling okay and comfortable.

      • Oh thank you so much. I actually was always interested in birth stories too so I may write something with a warning before and not hopefully full of triggers. It honestly is unreal to be here. I just can’t quite believe it. Thank you for supporting me.

  6. Speaking as someone still in the trenches, I need these positive stories. Even if we may feel a bit down since we haven’t gotten to the other side, we need to know that it does happen. You are the hope that keeps me going. The failed stories keep me grounded. The adoption stories show me I have options. We need this narrative too, that fertility treatments can and do work.

  7. It’s very kind of you to think of others like that, but really it’s YOUR blog, and you should feel free to do with it what you wish. Maybe I feel differently about it because I didn’t start my blog specifically to be an IF blog, I just started it as a place to vent and work through my thoughts. Not that I don’t care about people still in the trenches, because I do, it sucks, and I’ll be back there again soon enough…but I also look at it as my space. I wanted to track my pregnancy, so I did. I knew there were people out there who wouldn’t want to hear about it, and they would stop reading. I also knew there were people out there who needed the inspiration, and others who just came to like me as a person/writer and liked to hear how things were going. Bottom line, you have to do what you feel is right for you. (On a side note…After C gets to be a year old, I’m going to go back and print out my monthly updates on her and make a little remembrance book for her, to add to her baby book. I think she’ll find it interesting some day!)

  8. I had several people tell me to keep posting because it gives them hope. When we were TTC, those stories did tug at my heart, but it gave me some hope and something to look forward to. If they don’t want to read, they don’t have to. Also, now that I go back and look at mine it really makes me feel blessed. You’ll want these memories!

  9. My two cents, from someone who has been following for over a year. Keep blogging on. We want to know how you and baby boy are doing. You’ve worked hard. We’ve prayed for each other, sent positive vibes, and cheered each other on. We celebrate in your victory. Again, no one is forcing anyone to read your thoughts, milestones, and new journey. We read, because we want to 😉

  10. I’m still going through IVF but love hearing about new moms or moms-to-be. This is your time and should be celebrated. If someone doesn’t want to read the post then they won’t, so try not to worry about it. Congrats!

  11. I was just thinking tonight, that I wish I had kept more or better updates on my pregnancy (private or public) . I have quite a few bump pictures, and I’m so glad I did maternity photos. But I was just thinking, I wish I had MORE. I was so nervous while pregnant and now looking back, (of course, with the benefit of having my son sleeping away happy and healthy in his room) it went so quickly. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be pregnant again so I don’t want to forget anything. Sigh. It’s hard to do it when you’re in the moment though. My opinion: keep blogging. This is your space to make of it what you want.

  12. I know how you feel!!! I really couldn’t do any of that stuff for fear of jinxing it. But I am glad I wrote about my pregnancy because it is really nice to look back at it and remember, so make sure you do write what you want to! ☺️

  13. I find it super hard to blog once baby is here. I didnt have as hard of time when pregnant bc it kept my anxiety at bay when I blogged. Sorry I dont have great advice, but I can somewhat relate.

    So happy for you & think about you often 💙

  14. I feel you so much on this. It’s like survivors guilt mixed in with then fear that if you enjoy it “too much” it will be taken away! I felt for so long so guarded bc I didn’t want to get “too attached”. You’ll find your own balance as you go on! Go easy on yourself!

  15. I have chosen to continue to blog because my blog is part of who I am and I simply cannot imagine not writing. But I know how hard it can be for some people to read about my life now with a child and I fully respect their decision not to read/comment/follow. Anyways, I think the key to blogging, before and after a BFP is to do what feels best for you.

    • Blogs like yours make me feel okay about continuing to write about everything. I love following your journey. Even when I was at my lowest. I think you just have a way about writing that never triggered me. Thanks for that!

  16. I can relate! I would like to post some pregnancy updates but I really hate the idea of being insensitive and hurting anyone who is still struggling. However I know some followers would probably like the updates. It’s a tricky balance.

  17. I am so happy to hear from you. I agree with those who have said it’s your blog space and you should post what you would like to. But thank you for being sensitive as well. You’re a wonderful person.

    I relate very well to not writing much or purchasing much. It was so hard to believe it was finally happening. But you will eventually feel ready and that’s when you should do it. Hugs to you!!

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