I always felt sad when TTC ladies get their BFP’s and fell off the face of the blogging world. I always said, I would never do that, but I’m finding it difficult to write. My main worry is hurting anyone’s feelings and also gushing too much about this little guy and how great life is now (it’s not 100% great but I’m clinging to the great bits) then having everything taken away.
I was talking to my friend about how I’m not enjoying this to the fullest because with these two thoughts at the front of my mind constantly I have not taken any bump pictures. I have not kept a record of anything. No weekly symptoms. No firsts. Nothing. And don’t even get me started on baby shower anxiety. And the sad part is that I’m forgetting. I didn’t even really keep track of my TWW symptoms and I’ve pretty much forgotten them all and when they started.
I used to love going back to my IVF cycles and re-reading everything that I wrote in painstaking detail. I’m bummed that I’ve been too scared to track this next phase.
And it’s not even about posting here or on Instagram. I have 3 empty journals where I can write some stuff down but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.
Anyway, upon reflection and talking to people I feel that fear going away slowly sometimes. I mean, I almost bought a pack ‘n play last week… Almost.
When I think about it, I know that some of you do want updates and those who don’t are probably not even reading this so I’m going to figure out how to post progress updates that don’t send out email notifications and I’ll have a section at the top with all of the updates. I know it’s possible, if you know how can you let me know, please?
I think that way, I’ll have a record of what’s going on in my body so that I don’t forget while remaining a bit sensitive to anyone who would appreciate it.