Date: 4.23.16 – 4.27.16
Starring: 75iu Menopur, 300iu Gonal-F, 250mcg Cetrotide (Insurance changed from ganirelix to cetrotide), 3mg Melatonin, Ubiquinol, Pre-natal, Vit C, D, E, B12… Lupron Trigger!!!
Produced by: 11 follicles on day 9, 11 and 12. Final measurements – 7 on Left (27-13mm). 4 on Right (26-12mm). Estrodiol at 2600 on day 9 and 3400 on day 12. (I’m on OHSS watch but I feel fine)
Directed by: Slight, very slight tightness in the belly area. Sharp pains on the right and left side. No other symptoms.
Synopsis: So sorry I’ve been quiet my friends. This has been the toughest week and to have IVF happen in the middle, I don’t know. N lost his father very tragically on Sunday. He was only 57.
It was the perfect day. He came with me to my monitoring appointment and got to see how follicles look and he was surprised that it was an internal ultrasound and got a kick out of the word dildo cam. Afterwards we spent the day at PAX East (video game convention). That was me being a supportive wife since I don’t play video games. It was a good time though and I had a lot of fun with him. All of that changed on the way home when he got the phone call from his younger brother. His father’s eldest son from his second wife.
It’s just been terrible. Everyone is shocked and devastated of course. Most of Sunday was spent in shock with his step mother and bother and her sister’s family. IVF has taken an extreme back seat. I’ve been doing all shots about an hour later than I should have and I’ve been doing most of the shots myself to give N space to take care of his family. At one point I thought of cancelling the cycle because my mind wasn’t in the right place but it’s given us a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos.
Yesterday we spent the evening with his grandparents and cousins. At his grandfather’s house I had my medication with me and had to do shots there so N told them about IVF. I was in the bathroom so didn’t hear their (His grandfather and step grandmother) reaction but they wished us the very best of luck and they’re hoping for good news in June or July.
So it’s been an awful week. I can’t imagine what N must be going through and it breaks my heart to see him hurt. It breaks my heart to see his family hurt. They’re all so lovely and now they’re all missing a huge part of their hearts and I wish I could fix it. If I want to look for the good in a tragedy, it’s that it’s brought his family a little bit closer and I hope that trend continues. I really love spending time with them and I will always be sad that we didn’t spend more time with my father-in-law and I will miss him dearly. I will always remember his smiling face and I’ll see his spirit when I look into my husbands eyes and I will smile.
This has also been the longest cycle. It’s only been 2 days longer than usual but it feels like I’ve been stimming for a dog’s age. But I will be given a reprieve today as tonight at 7 is trigger time. I have to be there again tomorrow at 6:30 for blood work to see that the lupron trigger worked and then again on Friday at 7 for retrieval. That’s a lot of driving up there. I’ve been there everyday this week. But anyway. We made it to the end although battered and bruised.
And with that, I’ll leave you all to it. Thanks for being my cheerleaders as always. Every time someone dies I always remind people to hug their loved ones extra tight. Today will be no different. Don’t take anything for granted. Family is so important (whether blood or soul). Make sure your loved ones know they are loved and don’t wait for them to make the first move.
Sending you all so much love.
Tales of a 30 Year Old Nothing 
I am so very sorry for your loss. There is never a good time for these things, but a sudden loss is so shocking and heartbreaking. Thinking of all of you. Hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. This has to be so terribly stressful for you all. I amazed at your strength to keep going through everything (although I am sure N’s father would have wanted you to keep going). Take care – I’ll be thinking of you for Friday’s retrieval. Good luck 🙂 X
So sorry for your loss. I’m keeping everything crossed for your miracle to help ease the pain of this loss somehow. Sending hugs x
Aw I am so sorry for your loss. Please give N a big hug from me. I had a little chuckle when you said IVF was providing a sense of normalcy. You know shit has hit the fan when IVF becomes the normal thing in your life! Congrats on triggering tonight! I’ll keep you in my thoughts on Friday for retrieval. Xo.
And I know this is not the same, but I lost my very close friend during my last cycle. He died on the morning after our retrieval, as our eggs were being fertilized. I thought about cancelling that cycle so many times, but I’m so glad I didn’t as one of those embryos turned into Baby A. I hope you find your miracle through this heartache, too!
I’m sorry for your loss too. I can definitely see why you wanted to cancel but I’m so happy you pushed through :). I hope we find a miracle as well. Thank you so much.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how horrible N feels. Even though we don’t know each other, not even names, N and you and his family are in my prayers and thoughts.
I am so so sorry. Life is so unfair sometimes.
Big hugs to you.
I am so incredibly sorry for the devastating loss of your father in law. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be while doing IVF.
Sending you so much love.
I am so sorry for your loss, a death in the family is never easy to go through. Please know your family is in my thoughts. Lots of love.
Im so sorry for your loss. So sad. Im sure its got to be so hard right now. Im thinking of u all 🙏🏽❤️
So sorry for your loss. Sending you guys and N’s family lots of love and support. I’m happy that you’ve been able to get through stims and monitoring and everything, and have made it through to the end. (Well, almost!) Enjoy no needles tomorrow, and good luck with your retrieval!! Are you planning on a fresh transfer, or just going to see how things go? Either way, sending you lots of good vibes and baby dust!!
Thanks Amy. We’re doing frozen because of the PGD testing. I’m hoping to dive right in wit my next period though. xx
I’m so very sorry for you loss. Sending you love and hoping you’ll have a smooth retrieval. 💜
I’m so sorry to hear this, poor N and poor family. Sending you lots of hugs. I hope the trigger goes well! You’re just behind me. Xx
I am so sorry to hear about N’s dad. I cant imagine what you guys must be going through.
Thinking of you and wishing you all the best for your ER. xoxo
SO sorry to hear about this. On top of everything.
So sorry for your families loss. Sending lots of love xxx
This saddens me greatly. I’m so sorry for the loss of someone so special to you both.
I hope Friday goes as well as can be expected and will be thinking of you xx
So sorry for your loss,,. Many hugs to you and N.
I am so sorry to hear about N’s father. What a horrible thing to have happened during this process. Cling to each other for strength.
So sorry to hear of the loss of your father in law. May both find strength in each other at this time. Good luck with your retrieval too x ❤ x
Oh Hon, I am so sorry for yours and N’s loss. Losing a parent is so difficult and I would think even more so when it’s unexpected. Sending you big hugs and lots of love!
Deepest condolences to you, N and family. I pray the Lord holds you all a little tighter tonight.
xo