A strange thing happened after Thanksgiving. I’m not sure if it’s happened to me before. If it has, I don’t remember or I didn’t blog about it.
We had a good Thanksgiving. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. We do 2 dinners. One with his dad’s side of the family and then another with his mom. I expected his dad’s one to be a little hard since it was the first without his dad but it was good. There were laughs and everyone was in a good mood.
Dinner at his moms was pretty good as well. The food was amazing! I’m 100% not eating healthy right now. Perhaps I’ll start again when we run out of left overs.
We got home at about 9pm and while we were sitting on the couch I realized N had to go to work in morning and I would be alone all day and a huge wave of emotion just crashed into me. I felt lame like the weight of the world just rested its fat ass on my shoulders. My breath was a little ragged and I choked back tears. At first I tried to fight it because I thought I was being silly but then I thought that this had to happen. I felt heavy but also felt like I was at the top of the roller coaster, the scary bit when you’re just about to drop.
So I grabbed my blanket and sunk into the couch and just let it happen. I didn’t cry but I just felt all the emotions. Heavy waves crashing into me. I thought of everything we’ve been through this year and let those emotions come to the surface, hang out a bit and go away.
I think I was too emotional to cry. It was a lot to feel all at once and It lasted pretty much the rest of the night. I was just a big ball of catharsis but eventually I was able to drag myself to bed and fall into a very deep sleep.
The next morning I felt a lot lighter and ready to take on the rest of the weekend. When I think about it, I think it was the last of the hormones from the cycle purging from my body. My period was just ending as well and I’m usually weepy at the end of my period but this was way more than just weepy.
I’m glad that’s over and I just wanted to document it. Has anyone experienced this after an IVF cycle? Or am I just an emotional weirdo?
8 thoughts on “The Purge”
I don’t think you are an emotional weirdo lol. I haven’t fine an IVF cycle yet, this is our first IUI cycle and I can guarantee if it doesn’t work, I’ll be a mess. I know it may not, but in your head you think this is new and will work. I can’t even imagine the feeling after IVF! I think it’s ok to be upset. Are you going to try again this cycle? I’m glad yall had a good Thanksgiving! I don’t think anyone eats healthy the day of or a few days after.
I really hope you are successful with your IUI and don’t have to go the IVF route. Not to say that IUI’s aren’t emotionally difficult, but much less injections :). We’re still waiting on PGD results. If none of them are normal we’ll have one more try at IVF.
U are far from a weirdo! U have been through so much. Your emotions and the way u handle them seem totally normal to me. Let it all out friend.
It felt good to get it all out but I don’t think I’m done yet. Maybe after PGD results I’ll have another purge.
Me too. Anything that fools with our hormones like IVF does is bound to make one emotional. It also makes me become a *wee* bit temperamental as my husband can attest to. Maybe that’s just the needles and poking.
It’s quite an adventure. lol
Yes I had something similar. After my last IVF cycle I was really sad obviously but I gradually started feeling better and more like myself but then bang a few weeks later and something triggered me and I felt really emotional and upset all over again… I think it was the low from all the hormones finally leaving my body.
I’m relieved not to be the only one. I didn’t enjoy but I guess it’s all part of the process.