Seeing a baby bump when you have a child seems to stir up all kinds of feelings in mothers it seems. It’s lovely to see their faces light up as I wait for the excited hand clapping and barrage of questions and words of wisdom.
I read a lot forums of pregnant women complaining about the words of wisdom. “Just wait. You don’t know tired yet”… “Just get the epidural”… etc. I don’t mind it so much. Having gone through infertility I’ve learned to shrug off advice and comments that bug me. That and the fact that I’m actually in this new world is awesome. Yes please, tell me again how tired I am going to be and how painful birth is. The fact that you’re even talking to me about this stuff is awesome to me. Yes please.
The only comment that really gives me pause and makes me a little sad has been told to me by 3 older women with older children and grandchildren. And it’s a variation of this.
Oh, you’re having a boy! Boys are the best. I have both and my boys are my angels. My daughter is good too when she doesn’t have an attitude but oh *clutches chest and closes eyes* my boys. You’re so so lucky.
That’s a little offensive no? I mean, I’m a daughter, the woman speaking to me is a daughter. What did this daughter do to you?
I’ve spoken before about being excited and a little relieved to have a boy but also that I was sad about not having a girl because all the little girls in my life are such fire crackers and I just love all of them.
None of my friends/family who have little girls has ever said this to me. Little girls are magical and feisty and so so funny. Is it because they haven’t reached puberty yet?
I know for myself, my mom and I went through a very rough patch when I was between 16 and uhhh 25 (lol). I made life very difficult for her. Incidentally my eldest brother and her went through a rough patch, as well, that lasted a few years and I remember her and my middle brother having a few very serious arguments. I don’t think having a difficult teenager is based on gender.
I wonder why anyone would say that about their child to a stranger? Maybe they were having a bad day and their teenage daughter had just given them crap that morning? I wonder if my mother had ever said anything like that about me. I was really terrible though, so I guess maybe on day 3 of me not talking to her for whatever silly reason I’d made up that month she’d bumped into someone pregnant with a boy and felt relief for them in that moment. I guess that would make sense.
But I’m sure these women cherish their daughters, when push comes to shove. I’m sure they were just making small talk. Because lets be real – Girls are awesome, amirite?!
Especially with everything going on in the world right now wrt women’s rights and the various social media campaigns. I am in awe of what we’ve had to overcome as women and what we’re still having to overcome even in 2017!
I understand that teenage girls can sometimes not be easy and raising a strong willed girl can tire you out but that, to me, just says that she will be a strong woman and the reason you’re butting heads is because you’re strong willed as well. That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned.
Anyway, just wanted to share that little story. I am over the moon to be bringing a boy into this world but I know that I have a duty to make sure that he is respectful to women, no matter who they are. He has to understand that women aren’t lesser. He should open doors and be a gentleman but also realise that women aren’t fragile creatures that need protection. And he will absolutely learn to keeps his hands to himself.
Phew, I can go on an on about this stuff but I’ll leave it at that.
Girls are awesome, that is all.