**Trigger warning! This is a “p” update. Please take care if you’re not in the mood for this type of post**

 

 

 

We’re in the final stretch.

I vacillate between “OMG we don’t have much time left!! We need to get XYZ done asap!” and “Meh, plenty of time. No need to be an eager beaver.” I haven’t actually done anything but I have plenty of lists. To-do, To-buy and the like.

We’re on weekly appointments now and yesterday’s one didn’t go like I’d expected. Last week she measured my tum and said that it’s a little small so she ordered and ultrasound to check his size. She didn’t seem concerned so I wasn’t either. I did do some Googling but I think I held it together well enough.

I had hoped to get some pics of his little face and perhaps a 3D one as well but unfortunately he’s decided he’s most comfortable in an incomplete breech position and his face was hiding so she couldn’t get any good pics except for the ones the doctor needed. So I saw the top of his head, his abdomen and his thigh bone and I heard his heartbeat. That was enough for me. All through the ultrasound he was squirming and fussing about. I don’t think he liked any of it.

At the appointment afterwards I was told that he’s 4lbs 11oz and in the 13th percentile for weight. She’s going to order another ultrasound in 2 weeks and if he drops to the 10th percentile she’s going to send me to a specialist. She never used the words IUGR or anything scary sounding so it’s probably just to make sure the placenta is working properly.

Then she casually mentioned that because he’s breeched that she’s likely going to do a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks if he hasn’t turned by the next ultrasound.

You know when you’re talking on the phone and someone else is having a conversation with you and you’re trying to concentrate on both voices? That’s how I felt. Like I was talking to the doctor on the phone about this impending c-section and my inner self was like “Wait, what?… What about feeling contractions?… Why 39 weeks?… Can we wait to see what happens?…” all the while the dr was talking and I couldn’t hear what she was saying over the voice in my head. She asked if I was okay with the idea of a c-section, I know that because I answered. I said I’m not at all afraid of a c-section but I’d like to avoid it. I know she mentioned an ECV (External Cephalic Version) and threw out a stat of it working but mentioned that it could put him under some stress. But that was all I caught. I know she said other stuff but it was just a buzz.

While I was trying to process everything she moved onto the glorious GBS test. That certainly took my mind of things. Goodness me!

I don’t remember much of the appointment after that just the words “scheduled c-section” over and over until I got home and jumped in the shower to wash the GBS test feeling off of me.

When N got home and I filled him in he basically asked all the questions inner me was asking. None of which I had an answer for because I  never verbalised them. I decided to text the doula to let her know what’s up and she quickly called me back with ideas on how to get him turn. Techniques on the spinning babies website (which I’m perusing now). Acupuncture. Chiropractor. And she talked a bit about an ECV as well as a last resort.

I’m looking into all of these things. I would be nice to see my acupuncturist again. The last time we saw him was for our 2nd failed transfer. We did pre- and post- acupuncture sessions with him.

I’m also just trying to wrap my head around this new plan in case he decides he’s happy in breech position. He’s really who’s in charge here anyway.

I’m not okay with it yet. I think I will be if I’ve tried my best and nothing works. But for now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I’m frustrated and annoyed and trying to find my footing again. I’m also trying to not blame myself since this is clearly not something I have any control over. It just is what it is.

But Lucky is otherwise perfect and healthy. He moves almost all the time. I’m not sure if he’s active while I sleep because when I do sleep I am dead to the world. I struggle to drift off initially but then it’s on. I usually wake up 15 min before my alarm in the morning but I’m very lucky that it’s not interrupted by needing to pee all the time. I know I’m not drinking enough water but I also try to get all my water in before I leave work to avoid night time peeing.

And he used to be very still until around 7am but lately he’s up and dancing as soon as I wake up. Rests between 2 and 4 during the day then it’s on again for the rest of the night. He’s the most active when I’m trying to doze off. I often have to put my hand over him to get him to calm down just for a second to give me a break.

He reacts to loud noises now which is so cute. One morning N banged a hammer against the wall really loud and it definitely woke him up, poor guy and last night N yelled “Flip baby!” into my belly and he did a little jump. Not enough to actually flip though.

Other than that I’m doing quite well now that I have the hang of the 3rd trimester. The hemorrhoids are under control. The heartburn is annoying but I carry tums with me everywhere. I thought I found some stretch marks but it turns out it’s just a reaction to the kinesiology tape I was using. Driving is the worst but it’s bearable. The only thing I’m struggling with is that bending over actually hurts. Putting pants and shoes on is really difficult but I don’t want to ask for help to get dressed so I just moan and groan through it.

I’ll be doing more updates as the weeks roll on since I guess things will probably ramp up now. In the mean time, here’s to getting this boy to flip.