That Time I Failed Horribly at Becoming Vegan and Tried Something Else Instead

Soooo, yeah that sucked. I lasted about a week and a half at best.

I gained no joy. I lost no weight. I lashed out at my poor husband even though I dragged him through this ordeal with me. And I almost broke off my almost 20 year friendship with my vegetarian best friend because how can she live this sort of life and be happy?

And then my mother-in-law, bless her soul, had a dinner at her house where she served mashed potatoes with bacon, pork chops and Marsala chicken… and cheesecake for dessert. It was the best fall of the wagon I’ve ever done and I’m not even remotely sorry.


The week that followed was a blur of kfc and beer and all the cheese that my little heart could take. It was pure bliss but there was definitely still a nagging in the back of my head. Actually, it was more like a jiggling in my butt. I decided to regroup and see where I failed and what I could do to fix it. Turns out quitting meat and everything I love cold turkey with no fixed plan is bound to fail, especially for me who needs structure when I’m doing something that takes a lot of energy.

Thankfully, while I was licking my wounds I got a wonderful email from a smoothie website I was on (Simple Green Smoothies) and they were offering a 21 day cleanse on sale for $39. It came with an eating plan, recipes and shopping list and I had successfully completed their smoothie challenge so I knew I could do it and, by George, I DID!!!!

You are looking at a newly cleansed Nothing, my friends! I knew that spending 40 bucks on something would keep me focused. I, again, roped hubby into this one and this is going to sound silly but i think it was awesome for our relationship. Initially it was both of us hating life and each other. Him hating me for making him do this stupid shit again and me hating him because just eat your cold cucumber soup and shut up. p.s. cold cucumber soup is delicious when you compare it to beet and fennel soup.

The recipes were ummm 70% awesome 20% pretty good and 10% ick yuck pooey. Towards the final week I started scouring the interweb to find recipes with the same ingredients as that week’s list. I learned a lot about my body. by the 3rd week hubster and I had fallen in love with each other again and we fell in love with eating healthy. I’m extremely happy we went though it. I lost 10lbs in total and yes, 3 of them found me again but looking at the scale to see how much I lost was awesome and believe me, those 3lbs are not welcome so stay tuned as I attempt to try and get rid of them.

The cleanse is over and we just came off a magnificent Thanksgiving. We both dove off the wagon and we’re currently sitting on the couch dying of the final plate of leftovers and hating meat and gravy.We’ve decided to get back into clean eating. I’m going to cool it on the meat and try to get the good meat if we do have it. It’s weird but I’m happy to do 90% cleanse type food and 10% me type food from here on out… I need that 10% man.


In conclusion, I like to state that the 21 day cleanse was meat, dairy, sugar, carb and ALCOHOL free. Those were, honestly, my 5 food groups. If I hadn’t paid money for this or had my love go through this with me I would, most certainly, have failed so if you’re looking to change your life and eating habits I highly recommend finding some sort of eating challenge that’s expensive-ish and completely planned out for you and find a buddy who (preferably) lives with you who you can do this with. It was so so so worth it and so much fun… really.

Now let’s see if I can get my ass to the gym to compliment this new outlook on life.






One thought on “That Time I Failed Horribly at Becoming Vegan and Tried Something Else Instead

  1. Pingback: Miss Antsy Pants | Tales of a 30 Year Old Nothing

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