Haven’t written in a while. Mostly because a whole lot of nothing has been going on. We did have our Genetics Counsellor appointment last Tuesday. Nothing overly exciting to report. They basically just explained the chromosome stuff to us. I can’t remember if I said what was going on. But in a nutshell, hubby is a carrier for CF (cystic fibrosis) and also has a balanced reciprocal translocation between chromosomes 16 and 18. That means that a piece of a chromosome swapped places with another piece of a chromosome. There’s nothing wrong with him but this type of translocation can cause miscarriages. The appointment was informative, at least, and they gave us some pamphlets and told us that they’d send a full report back to our RE’s office and we’ll go from there. So it looks like we’ll be adding another set of letters our baby journey. We’re now doing IVF with ICSI with PGD… The PGD stands for pre-implantation genetic diagnosis. Which basically just means after they inject one of his sperm into my egg they wait a few days for it to fertilize and stuff then remove a cell from the embryo and test it for any issues and then only implant the ones that will potentially survive. I think it’s simply amazing that they can do these kinds of things. The whole process blows my mind.

So yeah… now we wait… again. The bane of my existence is waiting for something I really want. I can’t stand it. I know that it’s something I have to work on but it’s so hard. But alas, there’s nothing I can do except wait. So I have to keep the tantrum throwing 3 year old in my head occupied somehow.

So, I started knitting but I’m not very good just yet. I tried to make a potholder (on the left) but got bored half way and now it’s a potholder for someone really really small… Or just another toy for the kitties. The thing on the left is my first attempt at a cable stitch. Don’t worry, the projects will get better. The yarn, however, may not. I bought 2 balls of the red so whatever I make is going to be red. hehe.

What else can I do to keep myself occupied? I’m in a book club that is taking up my downtime which I love. It’s an online book club since all my girls are scattered all over the world. But I love it!! Maybe I should do book reviews on here too, to pass the time.

And finally I’m trying another 21 day cleanse but I’m going to take it day by day. That way if I fail I won’t hate myself too much. But I’ve been eating horribly recently and my irritable bowel found me at work one morning and complained. It really complained. It complained so much it created a bit of a scene in the toilet at my office. I was crouched down in the stall and I had to call my bestie (Shout out to you, S! I know you’re reading lol) to come and help me, who then called our manager. It was a huge production. I was in so much agony and I swear I didn’t know what was going on. I thought maybe it was the HSG messing with my uterus. My hero, S, had to drive me to the walk-in down the road. There were x-rays and urine tests and even an internal exam. I was completely mortified when she showed me my x-ray and told me to stop being a baby and get some gas-x. I don’t know how I showed my face at the office the next day having to explain how a few stuck farts knocked me off my feet.

That was what I call rock-bottom. Something in my diet has to change. I don’t know how but I have to get my act together, man. The other day I noticed the inner thighs of my favourite jeans had worn through from all the constant rubbing together… What have I become?!

I don’t know how I’m going to do this though. I hope taking it one day at a time will work and I’m hoping it’ll take my mind off IVF for a while until we have enough money in the bank. Good luck to me… and anyone else in IVF limbo… or any other limbo for that matter.