My Future

Every year we get invited to a giant clam bake hosted by a friend of ours. My favourite part of the party is getting to see his parents and their friends.

I don’t know how we just clicked with this older couple but it happened and it was grand. They are simply lovely.

N met them first because he was installing the sound system at the friend’s new bar and the parents were in and out of the bar while it was being renovated and they fell in love with him. When we went to the bar’s soft opening N and I sat with the parents and we all fell in love with each other. I think perhaps it’s because they remind me of my parents. They have 3 children (like my parents) who the dote on and speak about often (like my parents).

We became so close and comfortable with them that when they asked us if we had kids we had no trouble telling them about our struggles. It was then that they shared their own struggles to have their 3 miracle children. Mind you, their youngest (our friend) is our age so of course their struggle did not have the science we have now. She had severe endometriosis and they struggled for years but through the science they had at the time and trying the natural way with sheer determination they eventually had their first.

It made sense now why we were so drawn to each other.

At the last get together we met their friend who’s husband was out of the country working. She too was an amazing woman and we were drawn to her as well. She was recently retired and spent her time travelling all over the world with her husband. I loved her easy laugh and how funny she was.

The conversation again turned to us trying to grow a family and I learned that the friend never had children. She had also struggled but eventually chose to be child free. And she was thriving.

When I think about us never having children I always think that I will forever be broken inside. That women who never have children are never whole and I blame society for this. It’s sick and wrong.

Here I was faced with two of my very possible futures. The happy couple with 3 miracles and endless joy. Or the happy couple with no children and endless joy.

I love the very few times we see them. I love their genuine-ness, and their energy and their hugs. And we always seem to see them right after another childess year has gone by and they tend to refresh me and clear my mind of bad thoughts.

There is absolutely  a reason these people came into our lives. I think the reason is that whatever happens, we will have endless joy.

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17 thoughts on “My Future

  1. Such a warmth filled post. I also sometimes break down thinking what if nothing works how will i survive this lonliness and sadness. Then again i see those people who never became parents but are living happy lives and get lots of courage that either way its gonna be okay.

  2. Such a warmth filled post. I also sometimes break down thinking what if nothing works how will i survive this lonliness and sadness. Then again i see those people who never became parents but are living happy lives and get lots of courage that either way its gonna be okay.

  3. oh that’s so lovely you met such warm and inspiring people. I think people who end up childfree not by choice have to grieve and go through a dark period first but then they come out of it eventually and can go on to live really great lives! So I don’t think it would be the end of the world (I’m speaking for myself too) even though the idea is scary.

  4. Aww! I love this post! I too know a couple who had their own fertility struggles and ended up never having children. They have an amazing relationship. When I told the wife about our fertility struggles, she told me that they have nothing keeping them together besides just loving each other. They don’t have to try and keep it together for the kids, or financial reasons, etc. So they stay together simply because they want to and it brings them joy. I do find this thought comforting as well.

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