Four eggs were mature and two fertilized normally.
I’m wondering if it’s self preservation that has me disregarding these two already. I was mentally writing down what questions I’ll ask about moving forward when we go to our follow-up appointment. I’ve pretty much already given up on them.
I won’t hear anything from the clinic until Friday but I’ve already prepared for neither of them to make it biopsy. The thought of one or even both making it to Friday has not crossed my mind. And then after that, the chances of one or both passing PGD testing is completely out of the realm of possibility for me.
I really appreciate that everyone around me (yourselves included) are able to be positive and hopeful. That’s what this is all about, right? Rallying.
Anyway, I definitely think I’m self-preserving. I’ll need all this energy to get up and go again if I have to. I don’t have time to fight between hope and despair.
I hope I’m not coming off flippant or ungrateful. Let’s just say if, by some miracle, we beat all the odds and we happen to have a healthy baby from this cycle, you can be damned sure that child will be the most spoiled child on the planet so that I can make up for essentially turning my back on it today.
Tales of a 30 Year Old Nothing 
Caution is sometimes warranted. Being optimistic won’t change the outcome! I am realistic most of the time and like to prepare for worst case scenarios so I get where you are coming from!!
I agree with this! Don’t beat yourself up about it. It doesn’t change the outcome. The best way to deal with it is whatever gets you through! Wishing you lots of luck. X
Very true. Thank you!
Thank you for saying this. It really helps.
Self preserving is fine. Sometimes the only way to get through this things is to protect your heart. I just wanted to mention that during my final cycle I got five eggs and only two fertilized and somehow one of them lead to my little miracle baby. So I’m really hoping for you now too! x
Thank you very much!!This gives me hope.
Self-preserving is definitely okay and you’re not turning your back on them. You know already that this is a marathon and you’re trying to conserve the energy you could need down the road. No one is going to blame you for that. I am catching up on everything a bit late as far as your cycle, but in the meantime, I will hold onto these embryos for you and keep the hope going while you rest. For now, give yourself time to recover and hold onto the good in front of you (Ross has been a bit spoiled lately as I am feeling sad and down because seeing him happy is what makes me happiest– fill your days with as many of those smiles and moments as you can and soak in each one). One step at a time is all you can do right now, right? We’re walking this road with you!
Thank you so so much for saying this (made me a little teary eyed lol).