The 5 seconds between putting the cam in and “There’s the heartbeat, Mom” are by far the longest 5 seconds known to man.

I saw the familiar black circle and an funky animal cracker shaped blob in the top right corner of the circle. My mind went blank and my body went numb. Why wasn’t she saying anything. I turned to look away as she said “There’s the heartbeat, Mom. Congratulations.” I said flatly that I couldn’t see it. She was definitely lying. She moved it around a little more and zoomed in and by golly there it was! A flickering white line. I melted. I literally melted, you guys. Everything unclenched and I felt a lightness I haven’t felt in weeks.

I blew hot air into the mask they made me wear (more on that below) and looked up to the ceiling and thanked whoever is out there looking out for me. I couldn’t believe it. This is really happening.

…

I had told my boss that I’d need 2hrs for a midday appointment. I feel like 3hrs would have been a safer bet but I hate asking for time off as it is. When N and I got to the clinic there were signs everywhere about COVID-19. The new policy was to ask 3 questions (paraphrased).

1. Have you traveled anywhere internationally?
2. Have you come into contact with anyone who has?
3. Do you have a fever and/or cough

After I paid the copay they asked me the 3 questions and I said Yes to coughing because I’m coming off a bad cold. She didn’t say anything but before they brought us back the ultrasound tech asked again and when I said Yes to the cough her eyes went wide and she said she’d be right back.

She came out a few seconds later and told us that because of their new protocol we would have to leave and wait in the car until a nurse calls and clears us. WTH!!

I was panicking. Would they cancel the appointment? I told N I should have just lied but he said that’s how these things spread, so I guess he had a point. I feared that we’d be stuck out there for ages so I called my boss to say I’d be late. I left a message for him to call back. 5 minutes later the clinic called. Asked the 3 questions again and we were allowed to come back in after a few apologies. They did give me a mask to wear though. The scene when we walked back in was extremely funny.

The couple ahead of us were signing in on the sheet and the wife said “Honey I don’t think you have to use your sleeve to use the pen. Wouldn’t it be easier to just use the pen normally and then sanitize your hand after?” He mumbled “I guess” but I don’t think he was convinced.

There was a lady who looked rather panicky standing around looking nervously for a place to sit. She had blue sterile gloves on. I felt bad that I was out here coughing around these people. When I went to the front desk they handed me a mask to put on and I swear I heard sterile glove lady’s ass cheeks clam shut. We went to sit close to her (not on purpose!!) and she immediately removed herself and went to sit as far away as she could. it was pretty packed in there. I felt bad for her.

Luckily we weren’t in there for too long. I’m sure everyone was relieved to have Coughy McCougherson gone.

Once we got into the room and I was undressing my boss called again and I had to quickly explain that I would be late because I was being quarantined. Big mistake to use those words. He immediately began blustering but the tech had walked in and was beginning so I had to cut him off and I said, it’s no biggie, I’d call him back. I can just imagine his panic. Since we’re at a school we’re having our own COVID-19 issues so I don’t think I helped much.

After the ultrasound was done and I floated back down to earth we had to go back into gen. pop. where there was all new people looking nervously at my masked face. We plopped ourselves as far away from them as possible. Again we weren’t kept too long.

L who released us last time with Lucky was helping us out again. I could have sworn, last time they gave us mountains of paperwork in a giant envelope. Not this time. This time the envelope only contained the ultrasound pictures and the post-it with the sex written on it.

She went over everything from before. Dandelion measuring 8 weeks. I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow. 16mm long. Good looking yolk sack. Due date 23 October. Heart rate at 181. Then she said they needed to do another blood test to check my blood type. So we followed her out and she asked one of the nurses to do it. Then she looked at both of us, congratulated us again and left. That was it. I did my last ever (hopefully) blood draw at my beloved clinic and then we just left. There really should be more fan fair when one graduates from an ivf clinic.

Anyway, I’ve told my boss and a few colleagues. My excitement and relief are through the effing roof. I had tap after work but still don’t have the balls to tell them yet for some reason. I think it’ll be too much attention. I like telling one person at a time.

I got home at 9:30 and its way past my bedtime so I’ll wrap it up for now. I think I’m going to have the best sleep I’ve had in weeks. Here’s to a very boring next couple of months.