A Little Bit of Crazy

I’ve mentioned before how superstitious I am. It’s not something I’m proud of but if I could stop I would. I also try to look for signs in everything. I was trying for this cycle to not let that happen and I’ll certainly feel sheepish if this doesn’t work, despite my best non-fact-based efforts.

First, if it wasn’t frowned upon to do so, I would be wearing the same clothes I wore to the transfer for the whole tww. Underwear included. Thankfully I’m not able to do that. I have, however, not removed my wedding ring. I usually take it off as soon as I walk in the house and sometimes I won’t wear it for days, much to N’s chagrin. But I feel like it’s bringing me luck right now. My valentine’s day earrings too, I have 10 holes in my ears from previous piercings but don’t wear earrings really. I feel like the earrings are good luck too, just like my ladybird/bug earrings from last transfer. The last thing I’m having trouble removing is my hospital bracelet from the clinic. That’s a weird one.

Back in the day when we went to events or places that required wrist bands, my cousin and I would see who could keep their wrist bands on the longest. Since she doesn’t read this, I’m going to go ahead and say that I always won but it would be weeks long battles. I am a pro at keeping wrist bands on and safe from too much water damage. I think it’s because of that that I feel like wrist bands are good luck or at least hold some sort of meaning. Every procedure I’ve had at this clinic, I’ve kept the wrist bands on until I got the results. You’d be amazed at how well they hold up in water, even if the writing washes off. I’ve also held on to most of the wrist bands. I’ll have to make an IVF memory book when this is all over.

The words on the band are all but completely gone and I’ll have to keep wearing long sleeves so as not to invite questions but every time I pull my sleeves up I see it peeping out and I immediately think of our embryo hopefully snuggling up nicely and it makes me smile.

Obviously wearing a wrist band from your transfer has no bearing on wether you’ll end up pregnant or not. Obviously. But that’s the nature of a superstition, right? I know I sound like a crazy person right now, but I’m comforted by the band. And I need as much comfort as I can get for these next 8 days.

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8 thoughts on “A Little Bit of Crazy

  1. DH and I kept our wrist bands from transfer on until we got our BFP and we have them for our keepsake box. I still have my hospital band on from delivering the twins (7+ weeks now) and its not coming off til our babies come home. DH’s broke the other day and he was sad, but I told him it was a sign that they’ll be home soon. So I don’t think it’s crazy at all!

  2. haha I know what you mean. we’re getting ready for our third try and i actually thought “well i did this last time so maybe i shouldn’t do this next time”. In our first unsuccessful transfer I wore a favorite necklace that says “I wished for you”. In our second one I decided that was a jinx and to go the badass route and wore my “bitch I’m Madonna” tank top to the procedure under my outfit. This time? Who knows. But I know that ultimately, it’s the embryo that’s either genetically ready to attach or not, and it’s beyond my control.

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