It’s dawning on me that this is going to be over soon and I’ve not nearly documented as much as I’d like. I keep trying to draw parallels to this time with Lucky but I don’t remember and I don’t have anything written to go back to. Anyway, it’s my cross to bear. I’ll try to remedy it even though this past week has been a bit rough.

We hit viability on N’s birthday weekend so I took the opportunity to wish N and do an FB announcement. I bought Lucky a t-shirt that had a picture of Biggy on it and underneath it said “Notorious B.I.G. Brother”. As with all announcements, they’re fraught with anxiety but are always well received. So it obviously went off without a hitch and afterwards you wonder what the heck you were so afraid of.

The following week, I had an ultrasound appointment to check Dandelion’s heart and to see if the placenta had moved. It hasn’t but his heart is A-okay. I’ll pause here to ask WHY DON’T DOCTORS READ THE CHART BEFORE THEY WALK INTO THE ROOM??!! This doctor mentioned that Dandelion’s heart looked great and then checked her notes and said that’s he’s in the 99th percentile for size. I nodded but frowned because I’ve never had a 99th percentile measurement. I think she registered my frown and looked at her paper again and said, “Oh, I’m sorry that’s not your baby”. Then why do you have another baby’s notes with you ma’am? Geepers. Anyway, Dandelion is in the 40th percentile, I think. I know this measurement doesn’t really mean anything but this happens all the time. My step father in law was telling us how his oncologists made these mistakes with him as well, which is baffling to me especially when you’re talking about changing dosages on cancer medication. Ugh. But I digress.

So I have to go back to next month for another ultrasound to see if the placenta has moved. It will be a transvaginal ultrasound so that’s going to be fun. In the meantime, I’ll be thinking moving thoughts.

Then last week we were hit with really awful heat all week. I felt fine mostly but on Thursday afternoon as I was leaving work I started feeling braxton hicks. No biggie, I’ll just lie down. My favourite thing to do. Friday I had my day off and had planned on washing my car and doing laundry but the BH was really bad. My belly all along my c-section scar was just tight and painful I could barely stand up straight. I thought maybe some round ligament pain as well. I just drank water and rested. Saturday, same thing. I actually found a bit of strength to sort out Lucky and Dandelion’s clothing. A friend sent over some hand-me-downs and I had to go through them but I became very overwhelmed. Thankfully, my friend B came to help me. She ordered me to sit down and point at things while she folded and sorted. She absolutely saved my life and I love every inch of her.

And Sunday I was drinking so much water and it seemed to subside. I pretty much never left the couch. Yesterday when I woke up things seemed fine but around 9am they were not and I called the OB to see if I should do anything. At first they wanted me to go straight to the hospital but eventually decided I should just go into their office and they would do some tests. They could only fit me in at 2:45 though. No biggie. I just tried not to move. I wasn’t too worried. Dandelion was dancing and kicking like crazy. But while driving there I let my mind wander too much and by the time I got to the OB I was in a bit of a tizzy.

They did a 20 minute non-stress test and found no contractions which was good but all the while my belly kept tightening up. The midwife said it’s probably just a combination of dehydration and the c-section scar stretching and the placenta moving. I felt sheepish for going in and wasting their time but they assured me that I did the right thing and that because of my placenta they want me to call if anything like this happens again especially if I start bleeding. They do not want me to go into labour with the placenta where it is.

And thus ends my first (and hopefully last) teeny tiny little scare. I am doing okay now I guess. Still in a good amount of pain even though I’ve increased my water 3 fold (I’m rushing through this now so that I can go pee again x 100). I’m trying not to exert myself but Lucky is still very clingy and I have to carry and hold him for a good chunk of the day. I’m glad that I’m not contracting though. That shit is stressful!!

Two things are starting to weigh on me now. One is Dandelion’s name. My nephew wasn’t named until a few days after he was born so it’s not tooo much of an issue but we had Lucky’s name before he was even real. It’s my own fault really. I’m insisting on another L name. My middle brother’s kids are all T’s and my eldest brother’s kids are all A’s. My husband’s father and his siblings are all M’s, His brothers on his dad’s side are both J’s and his cousins on dad’s side are M’s as well. Something in the universe is compelling me to continue this tradition and I can’t let it go but we can’t agree on an L name. I have it narrowed down to 2 that I love. One of which I really love because it’s directly related to one of his cousins and it’s also a comic book character like Lucky’s name. The second is a name I found randomly and absolutely fell in love with. But it has no significant meaning to us which is a bummer. I just need N to come to the party. Both names are really out there and uncommon but I love them. N just needs to be convinced. The second names are way more traditional but I love them as well. Both kids will have 3 names total. Lucky is named after our fathers. Dandelion’s second name is N’s brother who passed’s name. His mother was extremely happy we decided to do that and his third name is a family name on my mom’s side. I told her she could choose a third name since all the grandparents have a hand in the names so she chose her father’s name. I know people don’t generally like when kids have a million names but I only have one name and both my brothers have second names so yes, I’m pushing my juvenile issues on to my children. Hopefully, they appreciate the meaning behind it though. Anyway, if you can think of any really strange L names, I’m all ears.

My second more dire concern is that it’s becoming a reality that my parents won’t be here for Dandelion’s birth. And they likely won’t be able to come until who knows when. If at all! That means I’ll pretty much be taking care of these two love bugs on my own after N goes back to work. Sure, his mom will be able to help but I really doubt she will move in with us. Having my parents stay with us when Lucky was born was an absolute godsend. I have no idea how I’m going to do it. I have to start looking into a nanny. I’m also having worrying thoughts about Lucky and daycare. Actually I think this deserves it’s own post. I have to write down and articulate my thoughts. But I think ultimately we’ll be looking into getting a part-time in home nanny to help with Lucky while I’m on maternity leave and then to help with Dandelion when I go back to work. Drama!

Okay, I’ll leave it there for now as I have to pee again and I have to make a dessert because I’m missing some much needed sugar in my diet.

xx