Hysterscopy and Endometrial Biopsy

Well, that sucked.

I’ve written about my first hysterscopy here. This second one was much the same and I was way more nervous because I knew what was coming. Severe cramping for about 2 minutes. Just as I was about to tap out he said he was all done and the pain started to subside. But we weren’t done yet. I was so hoping that he could do the hysteroscopy and the biopsy in one fell swoop but that was not to be my destiny.

As soon as I came to my senses I was asked to sit up with the speculum still in me so that the solution could drain out. That was so weird. It just felt all kinds of wrong and uncomfortable but at least not painful. What was painful was when I laid back down he had to re-adjust the damned speculum. Fun times.

I asked a friend, who had a un-sedated biopsy, what it would feel like and she said that it feels like really awful cramps for 10 seconds and then it would be over. I was shaking and nervous at this point but I figured 10 seconds is bearable. Boy was I wrong.

If you’ve ever had an IUD put in, this is very similar with a much more painful ending. He said he would count to three and have me cough. When he put the torture device in it was a very very sharp cramp that I could locate. Like, I almost knew exactly where he was getting the biopsy from. The hysteroscopy cramp was more of an overall period cramp that radiates down your legs (and up your spine if you’re lucky). This was very localized and had me yelling out explatives as quietly as I could.

Then he counted to 3 and I had to cough but it came out “*COUGH* FUCK! FUCK! *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* FUCK! *COUGH*”. And I barely heard him say he was all done. Guys, it was terrible. Terrible, I say! That same localized cramp x 10. Terrible.

I was in a shaky haze after that but I did hear that the hyseroscopy was all clear and we’ll get the results of the biopsy in about a week. He also asked me if I’d taken the pain killers I was supposed to (indicating that I am perhaps a wimp). I had, of course. I took a lot more than I should have I’m sure. I just don’t think that Tylenol extra strength does the trick. If I have to do this again (and I seriously hope I don’t) I’m going to ask if I can take something prescribed and possibly have my husband drive me. This was not fun at all.

And there you have it. Again, I’m not the yard stick with which to measure these procedures by as my pain threshold is one above zero. But at least you know how the procedure works if you have to go through it.

I have no idea how I’m going to give birth one day. Goodness me.


modern day torture device

This one goes out to my uterus

*Sorry for the long post*

I had my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) yesterday. That’s the one where they unceremoniously stick a catheter up your stuff and inject a dye into your uterus and your tubes to see if you have any blockages or anything. For the days leading up to my appointment I had slowly but surely turned myself into a crazy person thinking about all the possible negative outcomes, the worst of which being that the dye wouldn’t make it past my cervix.

I’d had a cystectomy in 2010 to remove 3 cysts on my ovaries (2 on the left and 1 on the right) and back then I wasn’t worried about the surgery having adverse affects on my uterus, so when the Dr mentioned that we’d do the HSG to make sure that surgery hadn’t somehow fused my tubes together, it was a very nonchalant statement that I forgot about. But slowly it grew in the back of my mind until the night before the appointment I was laying in bed unable to sleep convinced that I would have to ask my sister-in-law to be a surrogate for me because my uterus and both tubes are now fused together and my life is doomed. I have a penchant for dramatics sometimes.

Needless to say I was wreck on the day. It didn’t help that we got there a minute late because everyone on the way there thought it would be a good idea to get into some sort of car accident. I know it was a minute because on the sign-in sheet the lady wrote “appointment at 9am, patient arrived at 9:01″… Really? That was necessary? Because, now I’m thinking they’re going to yell at me for coming late and possibly cancelling the appointment then who’s going to carry my child for me now that my tubes are fused and no one will open them for me… Dramatics…

The procedure itself could’ve been worse. I am a complete woos and even though I was high on serious muscle relaxers I was still clawing the nurse’s hand and gritting my teeth while trying to follow the doctor’s breathing instructions. Let me see if I can explain what I was going through really quickly.

I was told to lay flat on my back and they stuck a pillow or something under my butt so I’d be at an incline. Then he stuck the speculum in and cranked it open. I felt like a car being jacked up for a tyre change. Fun times. Then he washed out my cervix and/or uterus with iodine. That was the worst part I think, because I felt sharp pricks for some reason. I just remember trying to concentrate on letting my legs drop open when everything in my being just wanted to clench up and kick Dr Breathe-In-Hold-It-And-Breathe-Out in the face and gtf outta there. But I persevered. Enter the radiologist, turning this into the most awkward party of 4. They all made the big mistake of making the dye injecting a big deal. They kept saying, “Okay it’s dye time are you ready? Do you think you can handle this sh*t? It’s really going to hurt!” Okay, that may have been my inner monologue but that’s what it felt like.

The dye injection part was mostly just a lot, a lot of pressure and cramping. I honestly think the iodine cleaning was more painful. I had the Mirena put in a few years ago. Having that devil toy inserted was waaay worse than this. This was mostly just uncomfortable and my nerves definitely got the better of me and made it awful. When the whole thing was over it was like nothing had ever happened.

At least I got to watch the whole process amidst my writhing in agony. I saw flashes of the screen in between times when I blacked out. I saw a black triangle and then two black long squiggles at the bottom corners of the triangle. Almost like a triangle shaped mermaid’s purse. Turns out the black squiggles were my tubes filled up with dye and then the dye pouring out of my tubes. So everything was all clear. The doctor even said that one’s chances of pregnancy increase after an HSG which would’ve made me really excited if we weren’t dealing with MFI.

So all-in-all, it wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me. I was even a little embarrassed at my behaviour. The staff were consummate professionals and I’m very grateful they waited until after I’d left the room before laughing at my over-reacting.

So what’s next? I guess I have to call them for a follow up appointment to get hubby’s results and figure out our next steps. This was, personally, a big hurdle for me. My next hurdle is going to be having to inject myself in the tummy. But until then, Thank you uterus and fallopian tubes for playing along so far. I love you guys!!


I love you, uterus…