I had a terrible night last night and I fear there will be more to come. My husband left me this morning. No not like that :). He’s gone to St John for work until Saturday (sorry, if you think that joke’s in poor taste). I have trouble sleeping when he’s not there so last night I was already tossing and turning thinking about the lack of sleep I’ll endure when he’s gone. So it was a mixture of bitter sadness and extreme excitement.
Excitement because of this. I was working in the tv room last night and I heard my husband call me from the bed room, “Hun, did we ever find out the sex of the embryo?”
“No, I think we’ll ask the Dr G if we get a positive”
“…Oh… I know what it is…”
“Yeah, they sent us the results of the PGD test and I accidentally read it”
“Oh my God, you know what we’re having??!!!”
“Yes do you want to know?”
“Yes!!! … No!!!… hmm yes!… Wait, you actually know what we’re having”
“Yes! it’s right here”
“Oh my God, I don’t know. But I don’t want you to know if I don’t know. Dammit! I had a plan. Of course I want to know. Why would they send us this? Okay tell me. No wait! Okay yes. Argh… Yes! what is it”
“It’s a XXXXX”
Queue several OMG’s, uncontrollable laughter, some more OMG’s, a very happy chair dance and a perma smile for the rest of the evening. I must’ve read the sex over a few times just to let it sink in. I even think we agreed on a name. And by the time we got into bed I’d decorated the baby’s room and sent mental gender announcements to everyone. I had to reign myself in a little bit. Okay, N had to reign me in. I asked him if he was excited and he said we have a long way to go still and he was saving his excitement. I said he was right but right now at that moment we had a little XXXXX. He cracked a smile. I know he’s excited too.
I spent the rest of my sleepless night buying clothing, setting up play dates and counting baby toes in my head. I was quite a bipolar night. One minute was soaring amongst the clouds with other happy mothers the next minute I was inconsolable thinking how would I recover if this embryo didn’t take. Part of me wishes I didn’t know because if it doesn’t work I wouldn’t be as attached. But part of me is so happy because this is the farthest I’ve ever let myself go with my daydreams and plans and I’ve actually let myself enjoy it.
I know that we’re nowhere close to being out of the woods. But right now, today, as I’m sitting here I’m a mom to a little XXXXX and I’m pleased as punch.
14 thoughts on “Sleepless in Massachusetts”
I say hold onto that excitement!! If it doesn’t take you’ll be devastated no matter what, so enjoy your happiness and I’ll be hoping that it continues. Love to you!
Thank you so much!! I’m going to try. xx
AHHHH WHAT A TEASE!!!!!!! I’ve been wondering since you first said you were so excited it was normal that you forgot to ask!
hahaha! Gosh I thought I was impatient for the transfer to come. I’m practically busting out of my skin now.
This is completely adorable. We are just a couple hours past our transfer and although we know nothing about our embryos other than their quality, I can now totally relate to the excitement and anxiety you are feeling! Good luck and hope your XXXX gets nice and comfy in there!
I’m just waiting to read your blogs about the transfer. I hope everything went swimmingly. Out embabie is still on ice waiting for us until March. Fingers crossed for you guys!
Hahahaha. I don’t know what I would do if my DH knew the sex and I didn’t. I am a control freak, so I’d probably make him spill, after getting mad at him for looking.
So excited for you!! xo
Thank you very much! Yeah I definitely wouldn’t have been able to let him be the only one in the know.
How early can you find this out? I definitely DON’T want to know, so I don’t want it accidently printed anywhere!
If you do PGD testing you can find out as soon as they give you your results. I really wasn’t prepared. I had no idea they sent the results to us. I just thought the RE holds onto them until we ask. Silly me.
I was sleepless in Massachusetts last night too, but for different reasons. I so hope that everything goes perfectly and the dreams you wished up come true. Hugs.
haha thanks very much!
Yippee! What an awesome feeling to find out. When does your transfer happen again?
Sometime in March. It seems like forever away. *sigh*