First things first, It hurt! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t do pain. I’m the one who takes pain killers as soon as she sees her period starts. That way I don’t have to deal with the pain when it comes. They told me to take 600mg of Ibuprofen, I took 800 and it was still unbearable. That being said, if you’re waiting to do a hysteroscopy, this is not the post to read. I am an outlier.

I arrived at the clinic and hour early of course and we got going almost right on time. Me, Dr G, new nurse and veteran nurse showing her the ropes. They were doing less nursing and more standing in the corner judging my loser behaviour. I did ask the doctor why we were just looking today and not going in there with a pair of scissors and lopping off whatever didn’t belong. He said that he’s not sure that there’s anything there in the first place and if it’s a fibroid they wouldn’t be able to “lop” it off anyway. The other procedure is like a surgery and it might not be necessary here. I guess he was right, so I let him continue.

The speculum didn’t hurt more than it normally does, the iodine (I think that’s what it was) was uncomfy. The camera going in was painless and then came the saline solution. Cue cramps and swearing. It just felt like really bad period cramps. But more sharp. Localized in my ass for some reason. Anyway, over the internal screams in my head, I kept hearing the doctor say “picture” … “you’re doing great, just 10 more seconds”… “picture” (10 seconds later) “just 8 more seconds” (what?!!) “you’re doing great”… “picture”… “picture”…”aand we’re done”. And that was it.

The pain went away immediately after he took everything out. There was a gush of saline solution. Awesome. And then he took his sweet time to tell me that he saw nothing. I was so relieved because there was a 10 second pause where he looked a bit worried. But there you have it. He said can start the next cycle with my next period. Woohoo!!

No not yet… there’s still the matter of payment. So it looks like we have to pay for PGD testing up front. It does get fully reimbursed which is great. So I really can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but we don’t have 5K lying around so we have to make a plan for that. Hopefully we can find a quick solution. But that also brings me to my next issue.

So, luckily my clinic opens at 6:30 for monitoring appointments and Monday I had to do a blood preggo test but work starts at 7 and I rolled in at 7:20. I’m not happy about that. My boss is cool about coming in late. He said coming in around 7:15 is fine but I really wasn’t happy and it doesn’t sit well with me that I’ll have to do this almost every day for 2 weeks without a good reason (I know this is best reason but it’s too soon to share this with him). Especially since it’s a new job and I’m still on probation.

I’m eager to start my next cycle. I’m so ready. I’m so very ready, but I also want to make a good impression because I really love this job. Where do I find a balance? I feel like I should sit out the next cycle and try for November (if we get the funds). I’ll be out of probation by then and I’ll find out if my boss even wants me to stay. And also, We may have to save up for a long time too so this could all be a moot point.

Sorry this was a long rambling post. I apologize for being all over the place. Thank you for keeping me in my thoughts and sending well wishes. They all seem to have worked.