Christmas Miracles?

I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year. Mine was harder than I thought it would be. I’m usually okay at Christmas time but I’ve been unusually weepy since Christmas eve.

We got a call from the RE on Christmas eve day. A call I wasn’t expecting so I was very thrown. He said that of our three tested embryos two were unbalanced and one was balanced and normal. Best phone call to get on Christmas eve right?

But then I started asked questions. The surviving embryo is a 2BB so that already has me worried. The doctor is obviously confident with a 2BB and a blastocyst is a blastocyst but I’m thinking of our 4BB blast that didn’t take. Why would a 2BB take? I know grades don’t mean anything. It’s just my need for things to be logical that’s getting to me.

I know I should be excited but I’m not feeling confident. After the call I Skyped with my family back home and cried. I  just wanted to be home and forget about IVF.

Spoke with N last night and I asked him if we should try another round instead and hope for a stronger embryo. He said no, we should transfer whatever we have until this works. Because with our luck we’ll get great embryos that won’t work and when we eventually try 2BB it’ll work.

So there you have it. I just finished my period so we’ll start the FET next month around this time. Sorry this wasn’t a happy positive post. Maybe I’ll feel more positive the closer we get. If we have to do this again, I’m not going to ask for the gender or grades of the embryos. It’s too hard.


17 thoughts on “Christmas Miracles?

  1. It’s okay to have an unhappy, not positive post. When we’re dealing with all this I don’t think it’s even possible to be happy and positive 100% of the time. Even if you don’t feel positive or hopeful I will be hopeful for you, and I’m hoping that this blast is all you need! It only takes ONE. xxx. But I agree with the above comment – doctor could’ve waited until next week. Maybe with his doctor logic he thought he was giving you good news?!?!

  2. it is such a slap in the face, isn’t it? i feel for you. i also think it will all work out. i do. and i would never pass on false hope in this area. Keep the faith. 🙂

  3. My miracle IVF boy was a very poorly graded day 3 embryo. From what I can gather- once you have a normal blastocyte they all kind of even out. Hope you are able to feel peace and hope. The little soul meant to join your family will come. I just know it. Xo

    • I’m getting there slowly. I just pinned 3 pictures of nurseries I’d like to copy :). My doctor said the same about blastocysts so if we have to do this again I refuse to find out the grades. It’s proven to be an unnecessary stressor.

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