Well, here we go again…

I’m sorry for not responding to all of the caring messages from my last post. For some reason that failure hit a lot harder than I had expected it to. That mixed with it being my birthday and my parents leaving and work becoming extremely busy was just a lot. It just wasn’t a fun month.

But I eventually dusted myself off in time for our follow up appointment. The fact that we have such an awesome RE helped me get even more excited. He always seems to read my mind. This time I wanted to ask him about HGH and he brought it up all on his own.

I heard about human growth hormone on Instagram and on some forums. Dr P mentioned that studies show that it does show some good results on increasing egg quality. Unfortunately, it’s no longer FDA approved so doctors aren’t prescribing it as much anymore. He explained that it costs around $1000 for a vial and I would need 4 vials. So scratch that idea. Then he said that he’s been telling his patients to use Serovital. It’s a supplement that increases your natural HGH and it’s about $200 for a 3 months supply. So we opted for that.

We’re also going to stick with the same protocol. I asked if this was a good idea and whether we shouldn’t go balls to the walls and double the dosage (not in those words of course) but he said that we’re already at a very high dose (300iu gonal f and 150iu of menopur). He wants to stick to this and either go a little up or down depending on how I respond.

We also discussed N doing another frozen sample. We went through the pro’s and con’s and in a rare display of humour our RE said “To freeze or not to freeze. That is the question”. Okay, yes, it was a lame joke. But we all had a good laugh. I guess you had to be there.

We are doing one change though. We’re going to try estrogen priming. I think that’s what it’s called. I’m to go in on day 21 of this current cycle to test my progesterone and then I’ll start estrogen pills twice a day until sometime after I start the stimulating meds. Correct me if I’m wrong but the extra estrogen is supposed to help my follicles respond to the stimulating medication better. So here’s hoping.

I’m excited to get back in the saddle. I forgot about this never ending up and down roller coaster ride. A few weeks ago, I was near to giving up all together and now I’m ready to go again. Is this the definition of madness?

Anyway, in other news. I’ve hired a personal trainer!! I’m on week 3 I think. My tap instructor’s husband is a personal trainer and he offered to take me and two of my friends on so that we could split the cost because, let’s face it, I’m not that much of a baller. It’s been really hard but really fun. I’m glad we took the plunge. The sucky bit is that it’s twice a week (for now) so I’m away from my family Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights (Thursdays are dance night). But I have to keep my eye on the prize. It’s not forever and I want to feel better about my body.

I also started sober October on Tuesday. I’m all in now but this weekend will be the real test. I usually start my drinking on Fridays and we have a birthday party this weekend and apple picking on Sunday which I could easily turn into some brunch time day drinking after. But I will be strong!!!

Next, I have to clean up my eating. More on this later.

Oh and lastly, I’m slowly making moves to apply for a Masters program. Slowly. I applied to take the GRE test. It’s in November and I haven’t started studying. If anyone has taken the GRE, please give me some advice. I keep thinking it’ll be easy but I could be fooling myself. Let’s see how it goes.

And that’s it for me. Posting will likely ramp up again in the coming weeks. I truly appreciate each and every one of you who are still following this blog that’s almost nearly dead. I have been thinking of starting another blog too. Not a mommy blog. A blog to parse out my past trauma and dealing with residual anxiety etc. My therapist suggested it. It will be raw. I’m just trying to think of a name for it.

Okay, I hope all of you are still rocking and rolling.

Lots of love!! xxx