The Hangover

Everyone knows that as you get older your hangovers tend to last longer and hit harder. Mine, in particular, come with an added dose of shame and guilt that has to be processed after every night of frivolity. “Why do you do this to yourself every time?” I’ll ask myself in between gulps of bubbly water and cries of pain, promising to never fall into this trap again.

Another thing is that I find myself becoming decidedly introspective as I lay in bed coming to terms with myself. It’s a time when I find myself redefining my short term goals and even writing down steps I’d need to take to achieve said goals. All of which is pretty good in my book, except that these goals and lists and promises only last as long as the hangover itself and when the end of the week rolls around I find myself elbows deep in beer and pizza and the cycle begins again…

The latest of these instances was quite funny when I think about it. I had decided I would do a juice cleanse to clear my body of all the toxins I found myself battling with at the time. I promptly went out and bought a $30 juicer and $60 worth of vegetables and fruit on a Sunday afternoon in a cloudy haze of consciousness. Please note that any purchases have to be made in the midst of a hangover since I won’t be thinking clearly at the time. My hangovers usually cost more than the previous nights drinking, which I find quite amusing.

When I got home I ran out of steam to actually juice this mountain of healthy fruits and veggies and I ended up just falling asleep again. Obviously, the next day the hangover and the new cleanse goal were promptly forgotten.

Fast forward to last week as I was enjoying another lovely albeit milder hangover… This time I re-affirmed my need for a serious cleanse and just for added effect I figured I’d get my ass back in shape so I went online and bought …  I still can’t believe I did this… the Insanity workout program… That’s a new level of crazy, even for me.

But let’s look at the pro’s. I did in fact kind of complete the juice cleanse (I didn’t make the pre dinner juice because I was too tired after juicing stuff for 2 hours). It was only 3 days so that’s a plus. I used Dr Oz’s cleanse I found on Pinterest and I survived aaand I would do it again. The recipes actually taste a lot better than they sound. So I at least stuck to something. Go me!!! What you’ll see below is 4 of the 5 juices. Sweet potato juice worries me a bit. Maybe next time.

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As for this Insanity thing… I am notorious for not finishing something I start. I try not to let it get me too down because if I did I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror. The package was delivered yesterday and while I wasn’t nursing a hangover, I was dealing with a particularly difficult headache that would not go away. I think it has to do with my diet this past week. Mostly dirty carbs and sugar. So I usually try to eat clean during the week anyway and I’m trying to follow a Low Carb High Fat eating regime which is a lot easier than it looks until Thursday happens. In case you’re wondering, I play kickball with some friends from work on Thursdays and it usually ends at the bar where I drink too many beers and before I know it, it’s Sunday and I’m online paying lots of money for things I probably won’t ever use.

Anyway, we’ll see how this insanity thing goes. I’m about to jump on the scale now and do the necessary measurements and do the first day’s video. I’m not going to make any wild promises since I’m of sound mind, but I will try. I’ve already done 3 of these videos on the xbox. That’s what prompted my interest initially. So I’m not going into this blindly. But let’s see how it goes. If I stick to it I’ll post some progress pics. I actually have some before pics from when I did it the first time. So here goes nothing. Please excuse the low quality in these before pics. I’ll try to take better ones during the next hangover.

ImageGood luck to me!!!

 

Monday Musings…

Yes, I know it’s Tuesday. Bear with me… So I’m sitting at my desk at work. I find it’s the only place I can write because when I get home the last thing I want to see is a computer.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Today I want to share with you a very discouraging discovery I made recently. At the end of this you’ll either roll your eyes at my neurosis or go check it out on yourself and take the necessary preventative measures.

So I know with age (older 32 if you take care of yourself) things tend to not look like they did when you were 20 and I’ve been pretty good at rolling with the punches, so to speak, with every new issue. Yes, my metabolism isn’t up to scratch. I’m okay with that (somewhat). I understand that my bladder has almost reached it’s sell by date and who knows, maybe one day I’ll stop hiding my premi greys. But this, folks, is unacceptable to me. This is one storm I will not weather until I absolutely have to. I am willing to spend good money on keeping this at bay. I speak, of course… about cleavage wrinkles.

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Okay mine don’t look this bad yet but I see this in my very near future if I don’t take immediate action! I’m telling you guys, this was a worse discovery than when I started noticing subtle laugh lines around my eyes. Okay, fine, there may be a chance I didn’t listen to my mother about wearing sun screen all the live long day, but we can’t cry over spilled milk. What do I do now? How can I slow the progression of these unsightly crevasses inching their way up from my bosom?! It can’t end like this, it simply cannot.

Thankfully, as always, Google has some useful tips. There are contraptions you can buy to keep your twins separated while you sleep on your side but I can neither sleep on my side nor wear anything like this to bed.

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That’s no way to live…

Luckily, Dr Oz says that retinol cream at night and sun screen during the day should slow the appearance of these little friends from old lady hell.

I apologise for my outburst but I quite like my boobies and I have no time… no time! for them to be taken from me so soon. I don’t even have a child to blame yet, let me enjoy them before that happens, please!

Aaaand scene…

Oh the Harem!

(found an old post that i neglected to post… )

i was chatting to a friend of mine who i haven’t spoken to in a while and she asked me what’s new? i mentioned that i had recently got a really short hair cut and that i bought 3 guppies (this was a few weeks ago. the fish have all since passed *sad face*). the dull life of an old married lady.

and then she said “wow, you’re really up for trying new things in the US, hey…”

and you know what? she’s right! well, i didn’t realize it, until she said it. i mean, i have the short hair now and i really let it just do what it feels like doing. i’d usually be too afraid to have my hair be too crazy but i’m so happy when it’s a little nuts now.

my bestie’s words really gave me the confidence boost i needed so todaaay, i thought i’d buy a pair of harem pants. i’ve always loved how they look on the tall skinny models. so off i went to h&m and get my new style on. i started small, got a black pair. no need for too much too soon :). i didn’t try them on in the store in case i psyched myself out. but boy was i proud of myself, shopping out of my comfort zone. you go girl!!!

i couldn’t wait to get home and try them on in front of my toughest critic… the husband :). well,  i don’t want to get into the exact exchange of words that followed but it turns out i am neither tall & skinny nor a model and therefore have no business wearing harem pants. I believe the term “poo-catcher” was thrown at some point amidst the tears and hysterics… and something about me looking like a reject from the cast of aladdin…

anyway, my husband agreed with me that the pants were god awful but he said i shouldn’t be so hard on myself and maybe next time i should try the clothes on in the shop before buying them…. lesson learned.

[edit: i had a picture of me wearing the pants but i can’t find it right now…will keep looking, watch this space.]

Track of the Week!

Track of the Week!

I really should’ve done this ages ago but I’m doing it now because he’s on my mind…

A dear friend of mine was killed in a car accident a few months ago. He was only 27. It was tragic. These events are always tragic. I don’t want to dwell on his death since I believe I’ve processed the worst of it and the thoughts I have of him are only happy now.

Anyway, this is a track that he made (he was a budding trance music producer). I only found this song after his passing and it’s absolutely beautiful. It totally encompasses his spirit. I see his smiling face clearly when I listen to it and it makes me smile.

Thanks for always, and I mean always, making me smile Aidy-boy.

https://soundcloud.com/soul-sygnals/think-happy-thoughts

The end of an era…

The end of an era...

I guess another thing that happens as you go through your thirties, is growing up. Growing up, I find, means changing and accepting what’s important in your life. I feel like these moments become more and more necessary the older you get but they never get any easier.

A few weeks ago, I was at my tri-annual dentist check up where I was told in no uncertain terms that my tongue ring had loosened two of my bottom front teeth and she suggested I remove it. I was shattered. I stared in the mirror for longest time struggling with one of the biggest decisions in my adult life (I’m a simple woman. Don’t judge). It was with a heavy heart that I ended up taking it out. Actually, I had my husband fight for 20 minutes to take it out but it’s now gone and I while it took me a few days to get over it, I hardly miss it anymore and my dear dad was so ecstatic he had me ship him the barbell so he could frame it. hahaha.

I have since removed two more piercings. My belly button ring and the surface piercing on the back of my neck. The reasons for which I’ll cover in another post. My body looks naked and, honestly, part of me feels less interesting, which is extremely profound. I never thought that this form of expression would be so hard to turn away from. Even though the surface piercing was really annoying as hell and the tongue ring was slowly destroying my grill, they were a part of me and who I am.

I am deeply saddened by this part of growing up but now that I’m almost human I can safely say, I am more than my body jewelry.

My problem with blogging…

I’m lazy as shiiit… I have the attention span of a 2 year old. The list goes on and on. I get home from work and the last thing I want to do is look at my laptop.

But there is hope. I just downloaded the wordpress app and since I’m always on my phone, I think this might be the solution to all our problems.

so here I am giving it another whirl. It will be better now. I am focused. I have lots to say. My journey through my thirties os worth documenting. I will, oh look, hubby brought me mint hot chocolate 😀

Track of the Week!…

Track of the Week!…

This is a 1hr mix from one my most favourite dj’s ever. The untouchable Dj Kent.

Khensani Mabaso from Johannesburg, South Africa, is… He just is… :). This latest mix is from Friday the 6th of Dec 2013, the day after Nelson Mandela passed away. It’s a tribute to great man and it…just…is.

Thanks DJ Kent and an even bigger Thank you to Tata Madiba…

Happy Friday music lovers!

That Time I Failed Horribly at Becoming Vegan and Tried Something Else Instead

Soooo, yeah that sucked. I lasted about a week and a half at best.

I gained no joy. I lost no weight. I lashed out at my poor husband even though I dragged him through this ordeal with me. And I almost broke off my almost 20 year friendship with my vegetarian best friend because how can she live this sort of life and be happy?

And then my mother-in-law, bless her soul, had a dinner at her house where she served mashed potatoes with bacon, pork chops and Marsala chicken… and cheesecake for dessert. It was the best fall of the wagon I’ve ever done and I’m not even remotely sorry.

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The week that followed was a blur of kfc and beer and all the cheese that my little heart could take. It was pure bliss but there was definitely still a nagging in the back of my head. Actually, it was more like a jiggling in my butt. I decided to regroup and see where I failed and what I could do to fix it. Turns out quitting meat and everything I love cold turkey with no fixed plan is bound to fail, especially for me who needs structure when I’m doing something that takes a lot of energy.

Thankfully, while I was licking my wounds I got a wonderful email from a smoothie website I was on (Simple Green Smoothies) and they were offering a 21 day cleanse on sale for $39. It came with an eating plan, recipes and shopping list and I had successfully completed their smoothie challenge so I knew I could do it and, by George, I DID!!!!

You are looking at a newly cleansed Nothing, my friends! I knew that spending 40 bucks on something would keep me focused. I, again, roped hubby into this one and this is going to sound silly but i think it was awesome for our relationship. Initially it was both of us hating life and each other. Him hating me for making him do this stupid shit again and me hating him because just eat your cold cucumber soup and shut up. p.s. cold cucumber soup is delicious when you compare it to beet and fennel soup.

The recipes were ummm 70% awesome 20% pretty good and 10% ick yuck pooey. Towards the final week I started scouring the interweb to find recipes with the same ingredients as that week’s list. I learned a lot about my body. by the 3rd week hubster and I had fallen in love with each other again and we fell in love with eating healthy. I’m extremely happy we went though it. I lost 10lbs in total and yes, 3 of them found me again but looking at the scale to see how much I lost was awesome and believe me, those 3lbs are not welcome so stay tuned as I attempt to try and get rid of them.

The cleanse is over and we just came off a magnificent Thanksgiving. We both dove off the wagon and we’re currently sitting on the couch dying of the final plate of leftovers and hating meat and gravy.We’ve decided to get back into clean eating. I’m going to cool it on the meat and try to get the good meat if we do have it. It’s weird but I’m happy to do 90% cleanse type food and 10% me type food from here on out… I need that 10% man.

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In conclusion, I like to state that the 21 day cleanse was meat, dairy, sugar, carb and ALCOHOL free. Those were, honestly, my 5 food groups. If I hadn’t paid money for this or had my love go through this with me I would, most certainly, have failed so if you’re looking to change your life and eating habits I highly recommend finding some sort of eating challenge that’s expensive-ish and completely planned out for you and find a buddy who (preferably) lives with you who you can do this with. It was so so so worth it and so much fun… really.

Now let’s see if I can get my ass to the gym to compliment this new outlook on life.