We did it!!

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 13 & 14 – Monitoring Day
(Saturday November 2nd & Sunday November 3rd)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, 5000 units Pregnyl trigger, 100 units Lupron trigger
Notes: estrogen=2175; LH=2.78; Progesterone=0.972; lining=8.1mm; Left Ovary=16.7mm, 19.6mm, 17.0mm, 20.0mm, 15.1mm, 10.4mm, 10.7mm, 11.9mm; Right Ovary=17.7mm, 8.3mm

Triggering tonight! Retrieval set for Tuesday morning at 7:30. I’m so relieved. I’m going to put in 2 sick days Tuesday and Wednesday. My husband raised his eyebrows at this. What are your guys’ thoughts on taking 2 consecutive sick days? I don’t know why but I generally feel guilty taking any time off work and it takes a lot to take and extra day to recover but my therapist has been pushing me to take days off work.  She wanted me to take off since last Friday. That’s crazy talk! 

Anyway, I’m glad that this cycle is over. It was a little more emotionally taxing than before, I think. Now just to get through tomorrow. I feel like it’s going to be a long day at work.

Thanks for following along this millionth IVF cycle. I’ll update on Tuesday when I get home unless something else cool comes up!

Emotional: Joy
Physical: Still achey and I’m so full of bruises
Food: Yesterday tacos again at a friend’s house. And rotisserie chicken tonight for dinner.

So Many Bruises

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 11 & 12 – Monitoring Day
(Thursday October 31st & Friday November 1st)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=1251; LH=3.17; Progesterone=0.504; lining=9.4mm; Left Ovary=14.1mm, 12.4mm, 13.3mm, 13.0mm, 12.0mm, 9.1mm, 16.4mm; Right Ovary=15.1mm, 6.7mm

Well, the never ending cycle is still ongoing. I’m having another mild panic attack because I’lll run out of meds tomorrow and I’ll need the pharmacy to deliver more on Sunday. I hope it works out. I have another monitoring appointment on Sunday. That’ll be 14 days of stims. That’s a record for me. Fingers crossed we can trigger on Sunday.

Nothing else exciting to report on this side. I can see the end. I just wish It was closer.

Emotional: Getting excited for the end of this
Physic: Stabby and achey on both sides. Just taking it easy peasy.
Food: Steak tacos!

Almost There!

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 10 – Monitoring Day
(Wednesday October 30)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=731.6; LH=8.87; Progesterone=0.544; lining=7.9mm; Left Ovary=12.0mm, 10.2mm, 11.4mm; Right Ovary=13.2mm

I really hope I don’t have to take Lucky with me. He was an angel and no one seemed to mind him (the nurses I mean), but it was just awful for me. I just wanted a sign that said “it took us 5 tries to have him, please don’t hate me”. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. But we were first in and were out of there pretty quickly so it wasn’t too bad.

But as you can see we’ve somehow went from 7 follicles down to 4. I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m kind of just meh right now. My left side is really achey and throbbing. I think at the next scan I’m not going to look at the screen. I’m just going to try to enjoy the heating pad and if I get A again she’ll have ocean sounds on her little speaker.

Lucky had his Halloween parade at school today. They were all super cute! He was dressed as Spiderman sans the mask lol. It’s going to rain tomorrow but we’re going to head out anyway with some ponchos.

Anyway, I gotta get my shots ready. I hope you all have a great Halloween tomorrow, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Emotional: Meh. At least it’s almost over. 4 days max, I’d say.
Physic: My left side is really stabby and achey
Food: Roasted Pork tenderloin and potatoes and leftover wonton soup which was amazing and I usually despise brothy soups.

Hormotional

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 8 and 9 – Monitoring Day
(Monday October 28 and Tuesday October 29)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f (375 Gonal-f on Day 9), 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=466; LH=4.28; Progesterone=0.507; lining=7.7mm; Left Ovary=9.9mm, 10.1mm, 11.1mm, 10.1mm, 8.5mm; Right Ovary=11.2mm, 9.5mm

Yesterday was a shit day at work. I’ve been feeling stressed and ugh about it. I’m not so secretly very excited for egg retrieval so that I can take time off work and breathe.

And today’s scan was troubling. The voicemail threw me into a tailspin. Remember how happy I was that I didn’t have to take Lucky with me to the clinic. Well tomorrow I’m going to have to take him. I am feeling very anxious about it. Everything from waking him up early and dressing him to how I’m going to be perceived tomorrow, etc. etc. But it’s happening. Godspeed to me and everyone else there.

And my results are pretty confusing. On Sunday they saw 5 on the right and 2 on the left and this morning they saw 5 on the left and 2 on the right. I don’t think they know how that happened but someone mixed up my ovaries. I mean, I don’t care as long as they can get to them when the time comes but that really threw me for a loop. Let’s see.

Anyway, I should probably get to bed but just a quick shout out to the fertility pharmacy. We started the cycle a day early and I called them on the Sunday to deliver the Monday and they did it no problem. And I got the call today that they’re upping my gonal-f to 375 and I only had 300. I called them in a panic and they were able to courier the meds to me today. I am very impressed. I was prepared to drive the 1hr+ to go pick the meds up so that was a great relief. I wonder how many panicked phone calls they get.

Okay, goodnight. Fingers crossed we have some good growth. I am feeling really sharp pains on my left. I just hope it’s good.

Emotional: Today was hard. I had a good cry in therapy. Today was hard.
Physic: Lots of sharp pains and I’m really tired.
Food: Really yummy calamari wrap. Oh and I was chatting to a friend at work on the phone and told her that I’d missed lunch and 5min after we got off the phone she walked down with a plate of snacks for me. I almost cried. I am definitely hormotional.

No Hotcakes For You

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 7 – Monitoring Day
(Sunday Oct 27)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=196.1; LH=2.91; lining=6.1mm; Left Ovary=10.8mm, 8.4mm; Right Ovary=10.5mm, 9.0mm, 8.5mm, 7.9mm, 8.5mm

So my right ovary is on a roll right now. As you know, she’s usually the slacker. And the tech had trouble finding the left one too which is new.

The tech was great, as usual, (it’s the same one who watches Game of Thrones) and she helped pick up my mood. She first read my name completely wrong and kept giggling about it throughout the scan. I’ll have to write more legibly next time. And then we talked about tiling woes. We’re both doing tiling jobs right now. I felt good after the scan even though it was really painful. I think my left ovary is directly above my uterus (I think. It feels like it) and she was pushing really hard to see it. I hope this won’t be a problem come retrieval time. It’s never been an issue though.

After these weekend monitoring appointments I usually stop by the McDonalds (I know, I know) after for big breakfasts for us. Unfortunately, this time they FORGOT THE HOTCAKES!!! It was so disappointing but probably the universe telling me to stick to better food choices.

Anyway, back on Tuesday for another scan. Still no Ganirelix added. I’m trying to figure out when retrieval will be. At first I thought Friday but now I’m thinking Sunday or Monday. But only time will tell!

Emotional: Having a good day today despite the lack of hotcakes.
Physic: Feeling sharp pains in the abdomen and I’m bloaty.
Food: Hotcake-less McD’s breakfast and I’m going to make beef stew for dinner on this rainy day.

Ladybug Sighting

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 5 – Monitoring Day
(Friday Oct 25)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=64.44; LH=6.12; progesterone=0.387; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=11.8mm; Right Ovary=12mm

I had a rough-ish day emotionally. I ate crap and work was taxing. There are only 2 lonely follicles right now. They seem pretty big for this early but my estrogen seems lowish for this early. But the nurse was happy with progress. I’m just falling into comparison land again and I hate it. Someone needs to take my phone away and delete and bock me from my instagram and blog. But the damage is done.

I did make it to training after skipping all exercise days this week. So that felt good. While we were chatting in between sets his wife (my tap instructor) came down to say hi and she pointed to the ceiling to two ladybugs who were touching butts. They’d been there all week doing who knows what :). That made me smile and I took it as a good sign for the day. Two ladybugs. Two follicles. Two drops of hope.

Onwards and upwards. Next appointment on Sunday.

Emotional: Rollercoaster!!!
Physical: Feeling good after a training session.
Food: Leftover Chinese food.

Ho Hum

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 2-4
(Tuesday Oct 22 – Thursday Oct 24)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Days 2 and 3 were anti climactic as usual. I haven’t done shots yet today but I believe I’m feeling some bloat sitting here with my legs curled under me. Either it’s IVF bloat or it’s the giant mountain of Chinese food I just ate.

Little Lucky is staying over at his grandma’s tonight because he goes with me to school and I don’t want to have to wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to go with me for the 2hr journey and I also am not too keen on bringing a child with me to my IVF clinic. I’m extremely grateful that I have someone to watch him during this time. I know not everyone is this lucky. I wonder now about all those women who I side-eyed at the clinic who brought their kids to appointments. I’m sure most of them felt tortured about being “that person”. I wonder if most of them simply had no choice. I’m just grateful that I have a choice with this.

It’s shots and bed time soon. Can’t believe tomorrow will pretty much be half way.

Emotional: Just taking it one day at a time
Physical: Haven’t been to training all week and skipped dance today. So, bleh-ish
Food: Mountain of Chinese food.

Surprise IVF

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 1
(Monday October 21st)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=133.9; LH=4.41; progesterone=0.486; Antral follicles=10

I did not expect to be starting this soon. I was expecting my period this Friday but it came on Sunday. Not hugely early, but early enough for me to panic a little bit.

I started the estrogen priming with Estrace on the 14th and I guess it can make your period start sooner. But anywhere here we are.

Everything went smoothly injection-wise. No complaints. The estrace was making me feel really awful so I’m happy that it’s over but I felt a good amount of nausea about an hour are shots. But I slept really well. I also had my flu shot yesterday so I think my body was just tapped out with all the stuff in it.

Random story: I do the personal training about 2 towns over. It’s usually a 25min drive with about a 5 minute stretch of highway between my exit and the trainer’s. Last night as I got onto the highway the traffic was at a dead stop because of an accident. The gps had me getting there in an hour. I had to text everyone to cancel but I couldn’t get off the highway until the exit which was an hour away! So I basically sat in traffic just to take the exit and drive my ass right back home! A complete waste of almost 2 hours! Hopefully no one was hurt though, because there was a massive crane pulling a car out of the woods when I drove by.

Anyway, I hope by my next monitoring appointment I’ll be a bit more excited and not so shaken up. I think I’m afraid of getting a low amount of eggs again.

Emotional: A little like I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me. Ask me tomorrow.
Physical: Feeling pretty good.
Food: Roasted chicken and salad

Why is Hope?

A beta of 8.46 is not a good beta. Every time someone posted a low beta like this I always read the fingers-crossed’s and the you’re-still-not-out’s with a bit of annoyance. Like why are we giving this poor woman any hope? Let’s be realistic. 8.46 is not good.

And yet, I hoped.

I scoured for success story after success story. I replayed the voicemail and even the nurse sounded hopeful. “You never know”, she said. But I’m sure she knew.

And still, I hoped.

On Tuesday, I was barely keeping it together. Just fragile and constantly on the verge of tears.

But still, so hopeful.

On Wednesday morning I turned 38. I somehow managed to keep this at the forefront of my thoughts and for the most part it worked. It was a genuinely happy day. The phone call came at 2 and even when I learned that the beta dropped to 1.5 I pushed that sadness all the way down and rejoiced that I didn’t have to do any more damned progesterone shots. It’s okay. We’ll get it next time.

I was hopeful.

Thursday, I was still okay. I thought I was okay. I went through the entire day okay. Even when I walked into therapy I avoided talking about it and ranted about work instead. The last 15 minutes my body gave up the fight and completely fell apart. It felt good to get it out. I was trying to be strong for Lucky and my parents and my husband and myself and my body was not having it. But it felt good to get it all out. I’m mad that I got my hopes for fucking 8.46. I’m scared that our RE will not know what to do next because we only got 5 eggs last time. I’m sad that I had to experience my first chemical pregnancy on my birthday.

Why did I hope?

I think I’m okay now, though. I think. Our wtf and next steps appointment is September 20th so I guess…

There is still hope.

FET 1 Complete

Everything went perfectly fine and I am now heavy one 5AA graded day 7 blastocyst!

We got to the clinic about 20 minutes early so we sat in the car and listened to a really trashy podcast. We’re trashy people and watch trashy reality tv and now we listen to trashy podcasts that review the trashy reality tv.

At 8 I went in for pre-transfer acupunture. I managed to get really relaxed so that helped a little until my bladder started bothering me. Our transfer was set for 9:30 so I started drinking at 9 but alas. 9:30 came and went and I was in dire straights by the time the nurse came to get us at 9:50.

I always thought these things were so strictly timed. I can’t remember our other transfers being late but either way. A Dr P did the transfer. He was fine. Definitely not enough time to get a read on him. At least he was gentle right? The ultrasound tech was lovely. She explained everything in detail again. And time time we got a picture!! I get sad every time I think about not getting a picture of Lucky. I’ve asked several times and no one has ever gotten back to me. Actually, I don’t know if it’s sadness or irritation that my need for things to be even and in order was disrupted. I have pictures of every single embryo transferred except him.

Anyway, I did acupuncture again afterwards. I could only relax for half the session then I started getting antsy. I think because the first I was on my stomach and the second I was on my back and I do better laying on my stomach as far as relaxing goes. She put needles in my wrists but they’re the kind that you can attach with tiny stickers so they can stay in. She said I should keep them in over night. I’m about to take them out now. She said something about that being the heart 7 point related to calmness.

We eventually got home and N had to go to work. I had some lunch then took my parents to Target so mom could start buying gifts for family back home. She has 6 grandkids over there now. It was cute watching her forget their names and get flustered with the amount of stuff she needed. She’s truly blessed.

I laid down for a bit when we got home and then we went all went out to dinner. Nothing fancy. Just the cheap Chinese buffet down the road. Omg Lucky was in his element. This kid loves to eat and seeing so much food was such a treat for him. He was squealing with excitement all through dinner. He shoveled handfuls of noodles into his mouth and ate everything off everyone’s plate. He spooned chocolate pudding over his watermelon and screamed with delight when he experienced the flavour in his mouth. It was so so funny. And then when we weren’t looking he grabbed a handful of wasabi and ate it!! He was fine and it really was funny. His eyes started watering and he was saying “ahh ahhh” really quietly. And then when the burn ended he whispered to himself “too ‘picy”. He’s a funny guy. I love his greedy little body.

We were pretty toast after that. N had a rough day of work installing four 125lb batteries into a boat so he’s body was screaming by the time we got into bed. And I think the acupuncture or the progesterone or just the excitement of the day tuckered me out. All three of us passed out almost immediately.

And that is that. Beta is set for Monday the 19th. Again, I don’t think I’ll test before but I do have dental surgery set for next Thursday and I’m not sure how to navigate that. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want to have to use the P word pre-emptively and I don’t want to have to explain IVF to them if they don’t understand. So maybe I’ll test on Thursday morning. That’ll be 7dpt. Ugh that may be too early. Okay, I’m not going to worry about it now.

Okay, I’m off to do some more laying down. I’ll check in again before beta. Wow, I’m still kinda in disbelief here. What if this really works?