Tag Archives: balanced translocation

Science

Posted in TTC drama by

We’re about a week an a bit away from transfer. I’ve started taking 2mg of estrogen 3 times a day. I’m still on Lupron but I think that will end on Thursday. My next and possibly final monitoring appointment for this cycle is Thursday morning. Things are running smoothly as usual. And I expect we’ll transfer on the 6th.

One thing we did differently during this retrieval was we joined a study that would tell us whether our embryo(s) had N’s translocation or not. At the time I just signed up for the study because I want to help the science evolve on this. I actually forgot about it. We would have to test the baby once it’s born to confirm any results so I think I just imagined that we would just get results closer to birth or whatever. I don’t know. I just forgot about it.

On Friday our RE called with the results. The embryo has the translocation. We took the phone call in our bedroom. Me standing next to the bed getting dressed for a night out and Lucky and N on the bed watching cartoons on mute. I don’t know how to feel about the news. We’re still going through with the transfer. But my feelings are complicated. My thoughts are muddled.

The only part of the conversation that didn’t sit right with me, that I keep coming back to is he said that since we only have one embryo, these results are just informational. If we’d had more and one or more of them didn’t have the translocation we could opt to use the normal embryos first.

Normal.

I didn’t like that. I immediately felt protective of my little Dandelion. If it had been in a batch with other embryos who didn’t have a translocation it wouldn’t get picked first. Fuck you Dr P! I mean, I love you and you’re the best doctor but geez man. Our embryo is normal. What is normal anyway?

I just didn’t like when he said that.

But here we are with this information. It’s not going to make us love our child any less. It just is what it is.

Again, I’m still coming to terms with it and my thoughts are too muddled to write coherently. But the bottom line is that Dandelion, for all intents and purposes, is perfect. And genetic testing is a fickle scientific gift.

That is all.

Dandelion

Posted in TTC drama by

Yikes! I thought I’d posted something since egg retrieval. Oops. Anyway, it’s good news :).

Of the 8 they retrieved, 7 were mature and 4 fertilised normally.

This time I was prepared for no news for at least 5 days. Day 5 was two Sundays ago on the 10th Nov. Of course I heard nothing. I was a mess because I was set to write the GRE test on the 11th and I couldn’t really concentrate on studying. Truth be told I only started looking at the test on the 9th. I was certain I was going to do terribly.

Well the 11th came. I was sure I would have the email in my inbox after the test. I finished the test and there was no email. I didn’t do too badly in the test at least, so I’m glad that that stress is over.

By 5pm on the 11th I was deflated. I realised that we either had at least one day 7 embryo, or nothing. I was sad.

By the time I got to work on the 12th I think I was okay with everything. I figured that the wait would be over soon and we could relax and enjoy the holidays and regroup. I just wanted it to be over. The email came at 9am.

“…we want to let you know that we have been able to freeze 2 embryos…”

I was relieved. But I was also sad that we now had two day 7 embryos. I felt like it would just be the same like last cycle. I swore that if, by some miracle, both were okay, I would ask dr P to transfer both.

I spent the next 7 days as we all do. Filled with hope one day and drowning in despair the next.

He called this past Wednesday (Nov 20) but I MISSED THE DAMNED CALL!! Gah! I’m still mad about this. I’m not going to lie, before I listened to the voice note, I knew that we had one good one. And I was right! One happy normal little embryo.

He said to call him back so we could start the process of the transfer. It took a bit of doing to get a hold of him but we eventually spoke yesterday. And I got a bit of surprise news. The embryo is a beautiful, DAY SIX embryo!! The other little guy was a day 7 and had extra chromosomes 16 and 22. I’m so happy and relieved and excited and hopeful!

So we’ll start again with my next period. We’ll be going home for Christmas (YAY!) so I’ll have to start birth control while we’re there. And then if all goes well, we’ll transfer the first week of February, I’d say.

I’m so glad it’s over. I’m so incredibly grateful that we could do this again. I’m grateful for my doctor and the clinic and all my friends and family for going through this with us and I’m grateful to all of you for you unending support. But man I’m glad this part is over.

Now I can focus all my stress on cooking my first turkey next week!! Gah!

Oh and we named this one Dandelion after a character in a book series we’re both listening to. It’s a good unisex name because Dandelion is a male character.

Cheers to Dandelion!

xxx

Egg retrieval #7

Posted in TTC drama by

I’m on the couch catching up on trash tv. Feeling a little crampy and dizzy. I’m glad I took tomorrow off.

So everything went well. They got 8 eggs. Pretty much what I expected but didn’t want to say out loud. Dr P was actually there doing retrievals in another OR and after I’d gotten dressed he popped in to ask how it went. He’s usually devoid of emotion anyway so I couldn’t get a read on whether he thought that was good or not. I mean, it is what it is. All we can do is hope there’s at least one super hero in the batch.

The procedure wasn’t much different. We had the same intake nurse from last time and a younger pretty surgeon. She was very serious. I wish these surgeons would crack a joke or laugh at a joke. They make me nervous with the seriousness. The anesthesiologist was a lot more jovial. They usually are in my experience. Probably because they make so much money.

My retrieval was set for 8:30 and they only took my back at 8:40 and around 8:20 I started cramping really badly and I kept thinking I was ovulating and they were going to miss it because of all this incessant form signing! But I guess we made it in time.

I got 2 bags of snacks this time and a hot chocolate that burned my tongue twice. I recovered from the grogginess a lot quicker which was great. This time I tried so hard to remember falling asleep. But all I remember is the dr telling me he was doing a painkiller first that would taste chalky. That’s interesting right? An intravenous drug causing a taste in the back of your throat. After he put the drug in the room literally started spinning. I had to close my eyes. Someone asked me if I was allergic to progesterone in oil. I remember saying no then she said but she has it noted in my chart that I lam. I was thinking so why ask then? Then I remember trying to explain but the spinning room was making it hard to say anything. And then I woke up.

The nurses after were so amazing. I didn’t feel rushed to get dressed and kept checking in and offering more snacks. The last one walked me right to the car and closed the door for me. I felt really taken care of it. I had a really good experience this time. Not to say the other times were awful, I just felt good when I left.

Sorry this post seems a bit all over the place. I’m just glad everything went well. I’m feeling okay about the 8 but I’m having the same worries. What if none fertilise, etc. etc. I am afraid of the call tomorrow. I want to wake up in two weeks with the final results. I don’t want to go through this torturous part again.

Thank you all very much for the continued support. I will keep you all posted.

xx

We did it!!

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 13 & 14 – Monitoring Day
(Saturday November 2nd & Sunday November 3rd)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, 5000 units Pregnyl trigger, 100 units Lupron trigger
Notes: estrogen=2175; LH=2.78; Progesterone=0.972; lining=8.1mm; Left Ovary=16.7mm, 19.6mm, 17.0mm, 20.0mm, 15.1mm, 10.4mm, 10.7mm, 11.9mm; Right Ovary=17.7mm, 8.3mm

Triggering tonight! Retrieval set for Tuesday morning at 7:30. I’m so relieved. I’m going to put in 2 sick days Tuesday and Wednesday. My husband raised his eyebrows at this. What are your guys’ thoughts on taking 2 consecutive sick days? I don’t know why but I generally feel guilty taking any time off work and it takes a lot to take and extra day to recover but my therapist has been pushing me to take days off work.  She wanted me to take off since last Friday. That’s crazy talk! 

Anyway, I’m glad that this cycle is over. It was a little more emotionally taxing than before, I think. Now just to get through tomorrow. I feel like it’s going to be a long day at work.

Thanks for following along this millionth IVF cycle. I’ll update on Tuesday when I get home unless something else cool comes up!

Emotional: Joy
Physical: Still achey and I’m so full of bruises
Food: Yesterday tacos again at a friend’s house. And rotisserie chicken tonight for dinner.

So Many Bruises

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 11 & 12 – Monitoring Day
(Thursday October 31st & Friday November 1st)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=1251; LH=3.17; Progesterone=0.504; lining=9.4mm; Left Ovary=14.1mm, 12.4mm, 13.3mm, 13.0mm, 12.0mm, 9.1mm, 16.4mm; Right Ovary=15.1mm, 6.7mm

Well, the never ending cycle is still ongoing. I’m having another mild panic attack because I’lll run out of meds tomorrow and I’ll need the pharmacy to deliver more on Sunday. I hope it works out. I have another monitoring appointment on Sunday. That’ll be 14 days of stims. That’s a record for me. Fingers crossed we can trigger on Sunday.

Nothing else exciting to report on this side. I can see the end. I just wish It was closer.

Emotional: Getting excited for the end of this
Physic: Stabby and achey on both sides. Just taking it easy peasy.
Food: Steak tacos!

Almost There!

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 10 – Monitoring Day
(Wednesday October 30)

Meds: 375 Gonal-f, 150iu Menopur, Cetrotide
Notes: estrogen=731.6; LH=8.87; Progesterone=0.544; lining=7.9mm; Left Ovary=12.0mm, 10.2mm, 11.4mm; Right Ovary=13.2mm

I really hope I don’t have to take Lucky with me. He was an angel and no one seemed to mind him (the nurses I mean), but it was just awful for me. I just wanted a sign that said “it took us 5 tries to have him, please don’t hate me”. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. But we were first in and were out of there pretty quickly so it wasn’t too bad.

But as you can see we’ve somehow went from 7 follicles down to 4. I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m kind of just meh right now. My left side is really achey and throbbing. I think at the next scan I’m not going to look at the screen. I’m just going to try to enjoy the heating pad and if I get A again she’ll have ocean sounds on her little speaker.

Lucky had his Halloween parade at school today. They were all super cute! He was dressed as Spiderman sans the mask lol. It’s going to rain tomorrow but we’re going to head out anyway with some ponchos.

Anyway, I gotta get my shots ready. I hope you all have a great Halloween tomorrow, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Emotional: Meh. At least it’s almost over. 4 days max, I’d say.
Physic: My left side is really stabby and achey
Food: Roasted Pork tenderloin and potatoes and leftover wonton soup which was amazing and I usually despise brothy soups.

Hormotional

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 8 and 9 – Monitoring Day
(Monday October 28 and Tuesday October 29)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f (375 Gonal-f on Day 9), 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=466; LH=4.28; Progesterone=0.507; lining=7.7mm; Left Ovary=9.9mm, 10.1mm, 11.1mm, 10.1mm, 8.5mm; Right Ovary=11.2mm, 9.5mm

Yesterday was a shit day at work. I’ve been feeling stressed and ugh about it. I’m not so secretly very excited for egg retrieval so that I can take time off work and breathe.

And today’s scan was troubling. The voicemail threw me into a tailspin. Remember how happy I was that I didn’t have to take Lucky with me to the clinic. Well tomorrow I’m going to have to take him. I am feeling very anxious about it. Everything from waking him up early and dressing him to how I’m going to be perceived tomorrow, etc. etc. But it’s happening. Godspeed to me and everyone else there.

And my results are pretty confusing. On Sunday they saw 5 on the right and 2 on the left and this morning they saw 5 on the left and 2 on the right. I don’t think they know how that happened but someone mixed up my ovaries. I mean, I don’t care as long as they can get to them when the time comes but that really threw me for a loop. Let’s see.

Anyway, I should probably get to bed but just a quick shout out to the fertility pharmacy. We started the cycle a day early and I called them on the Sunday to deliver the Monday and they did it no problem. And I got the call today that they’re upping my gonal-f to 375 and I only had 300. I called them in a panic and they were able to courier the meds to me today. I am very impressed. I was prepared to drive the 1hr+ to go pick the meds up so that was a great relief. I wonder how many panicked phone calls they get.

Okay, goodnight. Fingers crossed we have some good growth. I am feeling really sharp pains on my left. I just hope it’s good.

Emotional: Today was hard. I had a good cry in therapy. Today was hard.
Physic: Lots of sharp pains and I’m really tired.
Food: Really yummy calamari wrap. Oh and I was chatting to a friend at work on the phone and told her that I’d missed lunch and 5min after we got off the phone she walked down with a plate of snacks for me. I almost cried. I am definitely hormotional.

No Hotcakes For You

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 7 – Monitoring Day
(Sunday Oct 27)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=196.1; LH=2.91; lining=6.1mm; Left Ovary=10.8mm, 8.4mm; Right Ovary=10.5mm, 9.0mm, 8.5mm, 7.9mm, 8.5mm

So my right ovary is on a roll right now. As you know, she’s usually the slacker. And the tech had trouble finding the left one too which is new.

The tech was great, as usual, (it’s the same one who watches Game of Thrones) and she helped pick up my mood. She first read my name completely wrong and kept giggling about it throughout the scan. I’ll have to write more legibly next time. And then we talked about tiling woes. We’re both doing tiling jobs right now. I felt good after the scan even though it was really painful. I think my left ovary is directly above my uterus (I think. It feels like it) and she was pushing really hard to see it. I hope this won’t be a problem come retrieval time. It’s never been an issue though.

After these weekend monitoring appointments I usually stop by the McDonalds (I know, I know) after for big breakfasts for us. Unfortunately, this time they FORGOT THE HOTCAKES!!! It was so disappointing but probably the universe telling me to stick to better food choices.

Anyway, back on Tuesday for another scan. Still no Ganirelix added. I’m trying to figure out when retrieval will be. At first I thought Friday but now I’m thinking Sunday or Monday. But only time will tell!

Emotional: Having a good day today despite the lack of hotcakes.
Physic: Feeling sharp pains in the abdomen and I’m bloaty.
Food: Hotcake-less McD’s breakfast and I’m going to make beef stew for dinner on this rainy day.

Ladybug Sighting

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 5 – Monitoring Day
(Friday Oct 25)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur
Notes: estrogen=64.44; LH=6.12; progesterone=0.387; lining=5.4mm; Left Ovary=11.8mm; Right Ovary=12mm

I had a rough-ish day emotionally. I ate crap and work was taxing. There are only 2 lonely follicles right now. They seem pretty big for this early but my estrogen seems lowish for this early. But the nurse was happy with progress. I’m just falling into comparison land again and I hate it. Someone needs to take my phone away and delete and bock me from my instagram and blog. But the damage is done.

I did make it to training after skipping all exercise days this week. So that felt good. While we were chatting in between sets his wife (my tap instructor) came down to say hi and she pointed to the ceiling to two ladybugs who were touching butts. They’d been there all week doing who knows what :). That made me smile and I took it as a good sign for the day. Two ladybugs. Two follicles. Two drops of hope.

Onwards and upwards. Next appointment on Sunday.

Emotional: Rollercoaster!!!
Physical: Feeling good after a training session.
Food: Leftover Chinese food.

Ho Hum

Posted in TTC drama by

IVF ROUND 7

DAY 2-4
(Tuesday Oct 22 – Thursday Oct 24)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur

Days 2 and 3 were anti climactic as usual. I haven’t done shots yet today but I believe I’m feeling some bloat sitting here with my legs curled under me. Either it’s IVF bloat or it’s the giant mountain of Chinese food I just ate.

Little Lucky is staying over at his grandma’s tonight because he goes with me to school and I don’t want to have to wake him up at the ass crack of dawn to go with me for the 2hr journey and I also am not too keen on bringing a child with me to my IVF clinic. I’m extremely grateful that I have someone to watch him during this time. I know not everyone is this lucky. I wonder now about all those women who I side-eyed at the clinic who brought their kids to appointments. I’m sure most of them felt tortured about being “that person”. I wonder if most of them simply had no choice. I’m just grateful that I have a choice with this.

It’s shots and bed time soon. Can’t believe tomorrow will pretty much be half way.

Emotional: Just taking it one day at a time
Physical: Haven’t been to training all week and skipped dance today. So, bleh-ish
Food: Mountain of Chinese food.