Tag Archives: ivf

IVF Season 4: Episode 1-4

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Date: 7.21 – 7.24

Starring: 10 units microdose lupron twice a day, 0.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 225iu Gonal-F twice a day (started yesterday)

Synopsis: So far so good. It’s been an uneventful first 4 days. No side effects to speak of. No bloat. It will be a whole week before my first monitoring appointment so I’m really flying blind. But I’m enjoying the blissful ignorance.

We added Gonal-F to the mix yesterday. I’m doing the morning shots myself and it’s almost a non-issue. There’s always that moment of panic before the needle goes in but it’s getting a whole lot easier.

Again, this cycle, like the last one is quite uneventful. Maybe on Thursday I’ll have something exciting to report. The only thing that’s bugging me is that after I stopped the pill I got a full period. Usually it’s just a day or 2 of bleeding but It’s still going right now and I’m annoyed. Other than that all’s well in stim land.

Happy Monday everyone!

Outakes:
This made me LOL.
IMG-20160724-WA0016

IVF Season 4: Prologue

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So here we go again. My parents left yesterday. Thankfully I have a busy cycle ahead of me to keep me busy. The house is really quiet. I can’t stand it. I have to write down what’s going to happen this cycle before I forget and mess it all up.
July 11 – 18: Took 1 active birth control pill daily
July 19: Supression check. All clear. Estradiol < 5. Progesterone = 0.251.
July 19: Meds arrived – 1 Vial Microdose Lupron, to be refridgerated. 3 x 900iu Gonal-F pens, to be refridgerated, 20 dexamethasone tablets, 1 vial of HCG trigger, syringes, sharps container, alcohol pads.
July 20: Spend the day Googling Micro-dose Lupron protocol. Get excited about prospects. Get anxiety attacks about possible outcomes. Slowly start to fall apart. Try like hell to pull self together. Breathe.
July 21 – 23: Begin Stimulation – 10 units Microdose lupron AM and PM, 2.5mg tablet dexamethasone
July 24 – 28: 10 units Microdose lupron AM and PM, 2.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 225iu Gonal-F AM and PM.
July 28: First monitoring appointment, await further instructions.
August 4: Tentative egg retrieval!!
So, from what I’ve been Googling, it sounds like this protocol is given to women with diminished ovarian reserve or who don’t respond well to stims and while I’m seeing better results, I’m not seeing huge yields of eggs. But again women are going from 2-3 eggs to 5-7, which is slightly better. My RE said he wants a lot of eggs from me and I’m averaging 12 eggs per cycle and, honestly, if I get 15 I’ll be happy.
My biggest concern is quality. I read that dexamethasone can help with quality so that is making me feel better but I’m doing what I can for the most part. I am currently suffering through separators between my teeth in preparation for the braces on Friday. They are torture and I can only eat soft food. The other night I had custard and a protein shake for dinner and tonight I had egg salad and jello. So my diet isn’t the best but I’m not drinking so I’ll take that as a win.
I was also having trouble deciding what time to take shots. They said to space it out 12hrs. I decided on 6am and pm because I have to take the morning shot before monitoring  appointments which I do at 6:30. It’s good because then I don’t have to take shots in the bathroom at work but bad because if we ever go out I’ll be taking shots in public places again. It’s just 2 weekends of shots, I can do this.
I’m excited to start tomorrow. But I’m more excited to get these damned separators out of my mouth.
Ready, set, go!

Drama in IVF land

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I wonder if any of you have come across this in your journey. I’m in an IVF group on FB and in an ideal world, everyone in these groups is supposed to get pregnant and have babies and then the IVF group will transition to a Mom group. Everyone is happy and life is grand and we’re all super close and we all plan a great big meet up with our precious miracles and we’re all BFF’s. Right?

Wrong! Our group is in that awkward phase now. Majority of us are pregnant or have babies and majority of the posts are pregnancy/baby related. So like any infertile, the minority of us have stopped posting. For me personally it’s a mixture of not wanting to ruin the happy vibe, not feeling connected to that many people anymore, and feeling overwhelmed with all the baby stuff. And I know the majority in the group are struggling with extreme happiness and extreme survivors guilt, so I want them to have their happiness and I’ll rather keep quiet so as not to trigger their guilt. I don’t think that’s the right way to handle it, though.

So we’re in this weird “elephant in the room” phase. This phase in any group like this is a precarious balancing act and today it all came tumbling down.

My bestie in the group (the one who I mentioned before got pregnant after 7 rounds) happened to mention to everyone who is pregnant or has babies to be mindful of everyone still in the struggle, when they post baby stuff because the ones still struggling might be a bit overwhelmed.

Man… Things were said and feelings were hurt and at least one of ladies quickly quit the group. I won’t go into details but I don’t think anyone was wrong. Everyone is entitled to their feelings but I wonder if an IVF group that gets bigger and bigger is doomed to fail. Not everyone has the same values but everyone’s intentions are good. Our IVF group started off very small. Maybe around 10 of us. In fact, of that initial group, I think I’m one of 2 who’s not pregnant. I’m definitely closer to some of these ladies but we’re now up to 35 women in just one year and I don’t know any of them and there are now about 5 of us who aren’t pregnant. Our voices are very much drowned out. And honestly, the “discussion” wasn’t pregnant vs not pregnant. It was originals vs newcomers. And only 3 non-preggo’s weighed in. As a group, we might have some underlying issues. haha.

I think everyone is placated now. We don’t have any hard and fast rules in our group as far as saving anyone from being hurt or feeling left out but I’m sure after this we’ll put some in place.

Anyway, this was just a quick story about FB IVF groups and generally having too many people with different stories in one room, so to speak. In instagram and blogging it’s a little different. You can follow and unfollow anyone who doesn’t appeal to your needs. In an IVF group it’s not as easy to do the same. Of course, I could just leave the group since I’m not that active anyway and I talk to the ones I am close to, outside of the group. And who has time for drama, right?

 

Refreshed! Relaxed! Ready!

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Another round of IVF is upon us! But first, a big congrats to all the BFP’s I’ve missed, big hugs to everyone else still struggling and a big hello to everyone who’s reading this :). I felt some guilt for disappearing and not being able to be supportive. But I have to remember that these breaks are important and you can’t give your all to anyone when you don’t have anything to give. So I switched off and put my feet up and prepared for a relaxing month and a half off… or so I thought.

The first 3 weeks were a nightmare. A nightmare. I had a huge work deadline this last term that became suddenly life or death in the last three weeks. I was had to teach myself how to finish the project in new software and we ended up having to restart a few times, abandoning all our best laid plans. I hardly slept stressing about the project and the last week, I worked 16 hour days for 7 days straight. A  nightmare. Now, my poor husband works 14 to 16 hour days for 6 days a week so in actuality it was an eye opening experience for me. I’m definitely going to be less “complainy” with him. I don’t know how he does it. I was a whiny little b*tch those last couple of days.

Thankfully the nightmare ended with a long weekend. We planned a quick Groupon weekend getaway about an hour out of town. We did some hiking and eating and drinking. It was much needed because when we got back my parents landed in the country. They’re here for the month. It’s really good having them here and I was able to take all of last week off to do some touristy stuff. We did Newport, Boston and a few others here and there. This weekend we’re going to New Hampshire and their last weekend we’re going to Martha’s vineyard and then they leave :(. They’ll have been here for a month but it feels like it’s flying by.

And amidst all of this, my best friend gave birth to her second son. He’s so cute! I love his fat cheeks! And Game of Thrones wrapped up their most incredible season to date. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I’m in a GoT discussion group (don’t judge!) on whatsapp and we’ve all decided to start from season 1 to keep us going until season 7.

And so… here we are… IVF Season 4. I just got the call to start birth control this evening. We still have 2 weeks before stims start but here’s my tentative timeline for this cycle.

July 17th: Stop birth control pill
July 18th: Suppression Check/Baseline appointment
July 20th: Begin Lupron
July 26th: Begin Gonal F 225 iu
August 5th: Retrieval with PICSI

Phew, just writing that is making me excited. August is my birthday month and so far has consistently been the best month of every year for as long as I can remember. I’m putting it into the universe that this trend will continue. When I turn 35 I will be celebrating our awesome results. It’s going to be a great cycle, my friends!

It’s good to be back.

 

Plans for Round 4

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We had the follow up appointment today. I think it went well and I’m ready to tackle this next round. We decided to start up again in July because my parents are coming to visit in June (they’ll likely be here for a stims in July. That’ll be nice for them to experience the process. I’ll make them do my shots lol) and then I also have 5 days of PTO that I need to take before they expire at the end of June. We’re still not sure where to go. I want to go somewhere up north (Maine/New Hampshire) that’s quiet and secluded. Maybe near a lake. Just the two of us. Do any of you perhaps have any recommendations?

I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a second opinion. I’m still on the fence. This  appointment went so well and I really do trust my RE. The only other person that has been recommended to me is another RE at the same clinic but I’m having a serious attack of conscience re: not wanting to hurt my RE’s feelings. How ridiculous is that? I really love my clinic so don’t want to switch anyway so this new RE has been at the back of my mind for a few days. Also, N isn’t keen on leaving our RE just yet either. He believes in him. So I’ve decided to stick with Dr G just one more round. Especially after today’s appointment. And if I change my mind after doing some reading and getting opinions I’ll have most of June to get a second opinion. Anyway,  onto the appointment. I’ll do bullet points like I did with everyone else.

1. We’re going to do the Microdose Lupron Flare protocol. Or Microflare or Flare or whatever. He said he’s taking the gloves off and wants to try to get 18-20 eggs out of me. I’m excited about the prospect of getting that many eggs but let’s see what happens. I’m not going to get my hopes up too high. I thought he was pushing my E2 before at around 2000+ but he said we can go up to 5000 since we’re doing a freeze all. Whoop! In the past I haven’t felt too many crazy symptoms from stimming but I think I should prepare myself for crazy town. Now I haven’t read much about this protocol so if anyone has done this or knows someone who has, do you have any information please?
2. I did repeat bloods last weekend and all my results fell within normal range. I did, however, notice my antral follicle count was only 10. That bummed me out. But he said that my TSH came back at 2.66 and they want it at 2.5 or below. He said any other doctor wouldn’t give this another thought but since we’re trying to get pregnant he’d rather it be within range. They tested again today and if it’s still above 2.5 then I’ll get some meds during stims to help. Again, I know nothing about thyroid stuff. I wonder if my shitty diet has something to do with it.
3. He did bring up donor sperm. He said it’s going to be harder for us because of my sub-par eggs and N’s sperm but he’ll only seriously suggest donor sperm if we’re sick of all these failures. But if we’re in it for the long haul then so is he but he has to let us know that donor sperm is an option. I’m not opposed to any donor of any kind but I’d like to exhaust all our options first.
4. I can’t remember why we did this but he tested me for Fragile X today as well. I think it has something to do with embryo or egg quality and Fragile X being a reason. I’m not sure but we tested for it anyway.
5. I asked him about clomid for N to get his count up and he said he’s not opposed to it but N would have to get a prescription from a urologist. We’ll set that appointment up soon. Another reason to take a break. I have a feeling clomid only works after 3 months but let’s see what a urologist says.
6. I asked about PICSI an he sent and email to the embryologist for their opinion. I’m going to push for this. I read that it only increases live pregnancy rates by 15% but it’s 15% we didn’t have before.
7. And lastly, my pesky little cyst is a non-issue. Yay!
And there you have it. I’m excited for round 4 but I’m also excited for the break. Work is going to be pumping since it’s the end of the school year, so I’m glad there’s no IVF to distract me. I feel like it’s going to be over in a blink so that’s even more exciting.
Today I feel good about this appointment. I feel good about this protocol. I feel good about taking a break. I feel good about N being eager to try clomid (or anything for that matter).
I feel good.

Beers and Tears

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And with that our third IVF cycle comes to an end. Our poor little embryo turned out to be unbalanced.

Our poor little embryo.

We’re doing okay. I’d say we’re relieved to the back of this shitty cycle. The follow-up appointment is on Tuesday. I’m anxious to get in there and hear what he has to say. I wonder if he’s ready to pull out the big guns yet. What would the big guns be I wonder?

Anyway, I don’t have anything else to report. I’ll post an update on Tuesday.

It Only Takes One

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Well that’s all we have left so hopefully this old saying rings true.

My husband said the other night that hopefully his father will help us out this round. If you’re out there dad, you’re certainly keeping us on our toes but we will of course name the baby after you if you let us keep it.

 

Thanks for the continued prayers and support and crossed fingers. I really appreciate all of you. I’ll have results next week.

❤ ❤

 

Please!

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I didn’t get a call on Sunday for some reason but yesterday I heard that we only have three embryos left on day three.

I cried. Will we ever get more than 3 embryos to biopsy? The numbers are just getting worse and worse the more cycles we do. If this cycle fails I’m going to start looking at other clinics. And I really don’t want to do that. I love my clinic. I despise the distance with every ounce of my being but I know that driving in to Boston for appointments and such isn’t going to be fun either. Do I just stay the course then? Because the commute is my only gripe at this stage.

Anyway. So, three. They supposed to be biopsied tomorrow. Please please please guys, just hang in there. We need some good news, please.

IVF: Season 3, Episode 6 & 7

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Date: 4.21.16 – 4.22.16

Starring: 75iu Menopur, 300iu Gonal-F, 250mcg Ganirelix, 3mg Melatonin, Ubiquinol, Pre-natal, Vit C, D, E, B12.

Produced by: 8 follicles (5 on L, 3 on R) ranging from 10 – 13 mm. Estrodiol at 1012 on day 7.

Directed by: Slight, very slight tightness in the belly area. Sharp pains on the right and left side. No other symptoms.

Synopsis: So far so good. Let’s start yesterday. No monitoring but N did work late so I had to inject myself. I don’t enjoy it. I prefer that he does it but I got through it, thank goodness. I stabbed myself twice with the Menopur. Not sure if anyone has done this before. I stabbed and got such a fright, I yelped and pulled it out and proceeded to laugh at myself for a few minutes. What an idiot. Got it in the second time. Here’s tidbit of info. When N injects the Menopur I feel the burning around the injection site and to distract myself I scratch next to my belly button. I don’t know why, it’s automatic but it cracks N up all the time. So when I was injecting myself I didn’t have any free fingers to scratch as the medicine was going in because I was holding the syringe with one hand and plunging with the other like a complete noob. I ended up awkwardly scratching with my left pinky. Weirdo. And then I dropped the Gonal-F pen before the injection so it was riddled with tiny bubbles I couldn’t do anything about. I just hope that was the last of the night time injections that I do myself. Menopur is a 2 man job in my house.

So this morning at my appointment I was very happy with quiet nurse. She said everything was good. I saw a good amount of follicles but didn’t ask anything. She just said I’m doing really well and they all seem to be growing at the same rate which is awesome. And to make the day better, they let us leave work early so I was actually able to answer the phone call (No reception in my dungeon office. They must do that on purpose) Sadly, I failed at my ‘blissful ignorance’ pledge. We still have 8 follicles which I think is okay for day 7. They’re ranging between 10 and 13mm. My estrogen is at 1012. I’m not sure if that’s okay but the doctor did say he’s going to push body as much as he can. I’m to keep with the same dose of meds which is fine by me. And I’m to go back on Sunday. It feels like a lot of appointments. I don’t like these people that much. I did have to inject myself with Ganirelix after the phone call. I’ve done this before so it wasn’t a train smash (except for the damned blunt needle). I feel like when you add Ganirelix then you’re almost at the end so, yay.

So, so far so good. I was bummed for a second that we only have 8 but then my IVF friend who I told you about sent a pic of a pregnancy test that was faintly positive at 5dpt so that made my day. Like really really.

Best enjoyed with: Split pea soup yesterday and for lunch today… and tonight I’m breaking the rules with shitty box mac n cheese. yay Friday!

Outtakes:

It-all-makes-sense

source: upandout

IVF: Season 3, Episode 3-5

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Date: 4.18.16 – 4.20.16

Starring: 75iu Menopur, 300iu Gonal-F, 5mg Melatonin, Ubiquinol, Pre-natal, Vit C, D, E, B12.

Directed by:
Left Ovary – biggest at 11mm
Right Ovary – biggest at 12mm and 11mm

Synopsis: This really has been the most boring cycle. And tiring. It’s probably the melatonin but I’ve been a zombie all week. But all in all, I’m happy about the mundanity. No surprises, no stress.

All shots have gone off without a hitch. Had my first monitoring appointment this morning. She said I have 5 on one ovary and 3 on another but didn’t say which had which. But shout out to my right ovary for having the 2 biggest so far. My lazy girl has come to the party finally! The voicemail the nurse left wasn’t very informative. She just said, everything is going well and to go back on Friday with Ganirelix. No estrodiol levels or anything. At first I wanted to call to find out but I’m okay not knowing. It’s too early for anything and I don’t want to go on a comparing frenzy anyway. Calm and boring is the name of this game.

So far so good 🙂

Food: Been generally healthy (low carb, low sugar, no booze), minus the cake and prosecco on Sunday. No interesting recipes. In fact, we need to go grocery shopping.

Outtakes: (Prince Eric’s face cracks me up)

How-it-was-supposed-to-be-

source: collegehumor