Well That Didn’t Last Long

We’re back where we were 2 cycles ago.

14 eggs were mature (what I expected) and 9 fertilized normally. And then today I got the call that 5 were still growing on day 3.

We’re still not out by any means but I was am crushed.

I hate this. One minuter you’re on cloud 9, the next you’re standing in the greeting card aisle in Walgreens choking back tears wondering if you’ll ever receive one of these baby cards.

There’s, of course, always hope but fuuuuck this suuuucks!!

Next update on Wednesday or Thursday.

Advertisements

IVF Season 4: Episode 12-13

Date: 8.1 – 8.3

Starring: 10 units microdose lupron twice a day, 0.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 200iu Gonal-F twice a day, 5000iu HCG Trigger.

Produced by: 14 follicles (12 on left, 2 on right): Left – 20, 18, 16, 15.5 x2, 15 x5 ,13.5 ,12.5 and a few <11; Right – 14, 13 and a few <11. Estrogen at 3912 on day 13 and 4552 on day 14 (Yikes!).

Directed by: Oh so much nausea and crazy period cramps.

Synopsis: So things have been rough since I last updated. Rough but good, if that’s even possible. It all started when I woke up rudely yesterday morning at 5:45am! I missed my alarm!! My appointment was at 6:30 an hour’s drive away! I was in stupor trying to gather my thoughts and scramble to get dressed and come to terms with being late for everything. I had to lay my head down for a second because I extremely frazzled and just had to wrap my mind around having overslept. I looked at my phone again and blinked a few times and then realized that I was looking at the South African time, 6 hours ahead. The mixture of anger and relief I felt messed me up for the rest of the day. I even gave myself some serious heartburn and couldn’t fall back to sleep for at least an hour. (Side note: This is not the first time that this has happened btw. I should probably change that clock)

Thankfully, I made the appointment with time to spare. I got the funny chatty super quick tech. She went really quickly, as usual, and I couldn’t keep up with her measurements. She lost me at 8 on the left so I really thought that I’d lost follicles so I was pretty down all day. I’m still in shock that she managed to measure those 12 on the left at that lightning speed. She’s the best.

I got the call in the evening that I was to not do any Gonal-F and just the 10units of microdose lupron that night. Then this morning I had to take the 10 units of microdose lupron, 200iu of Gonal-F and 1 Dexamethasone tablet before my blood draw. My estrogen was at 3912 which is the highest it’s ever been. The dizziness and nausea are still ever present and I’ve also been having bad period cramps but according to Instagram it’s all normal.

Aside from being very sick my spirits have been better since my last post. Not even bleeding all over myself after this morning’s blood draw could get me down (I guess she missed the mark with the gauze). That was a lot of blood.

So today I was prescribed another tablet, Cabergoline. This is supposed to help prevent OHSS. I’m supposed to take it tonight at bed time. My estrogen today is at 4552 so I have to take all the necessary precautions. I also bought all the electrolyte drinks and protein bars and shakes.

We did the trigger shot at 7pm and retrieval is set for 8am on Friday. Whenever I’m at the end of a cycle I think that it’s really flown by but I know that just a day or 2 ago I was crying for it to be over.

I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous as hell. I want a good number of eggs but I want to be realistic too. I keep repeating “quality over quantity” to myself just to center myself and be realistic.

It’s been a good cycle, I think, but the best part was having N do the trigger shot and the moment we shared at the end of it. I love him so much. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.

e8927d54f0eed5b2f14569f7390622c7

Please don’t fuck me over

 

IVF Season 4: Episode 9-11

Date: 7.29 – 7.31

Starring: 10 units microdose lupron twice a day, 0.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 225iu Gonal-F twice a day

Produced by: 12 follicles (10 on L, 2 on R) ranging from 11 – 15 mm. Estrogen at 2100 on day 11.

Directed by: Oh so much nausea.

Synopsis: I can’t tell if these counts are good or not. My retrieval is supposedly set for Thursday which means only 2 more days of stimming and I don’t think that’s enough time to get more follicles to grow. And he wants me to drop the Gonal-F to 200 now as well. Don’t know if that’s good or not. I’ve definitely hit the mid-cycle bump. Not feeling very confident right now as I’m writing this. It’s because I’m comparing cycles (comparison truly is the thief of joy).

I go back on Tuesday. There’s really nothing else I can do except wait and chat to my eggs. Especially my right ovary. She’s making it so hard. *sigh*

At least birthday month starts tomorrow! I have plans for almost every weekend which is fantastic and I have 2 vaca days that I have to use before the end of the month. Groupon Getaways here I come! Just have to get through this week.

I’ll leave you with a pic of my left ovary. I think it’s cute that it looks like a fist. I can’t almost hear is shouting “follicle power!”. I’m proud of you lefty, thanks for carrying the team.

IMG_20160731_135553

Best enjoyed with: Bacon, egg, avocado and a mushroom for breakfast and we’ll be having salmon and

Outtakes:
PSA

689850334b9511381b9612e6a85dca3e.jpg

IVF Season 4: Episode 5-8

Date: 7.25 – 7.28

Starring: 10 units microdose lupron twice a day, 0.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 225iu Gonal-F twice a day

Produced by: 5 follicles (3 on L, 2 on R) ranging from 8 – 11 mm. Lots f smaller ones on the left. Estrodiol at 718 on day 8.

Directed by: Oh so much nausea.

Synopsis: I realize I haven’t been very informative with this cycle. I’ve been trying to search for Microdose Lupron Blogs but haven’t found many so I’ll try to leave a bit more information from now on to help anyone else who needs it.

So just to give a little context. Here’s a recap of my dosages for the past 8 days.

Day 1 – 3: I woke up at the ass crack of dawn to take my first 10 unit shot of the microdose lupron at 6:20ish am. I also took a 0.5mg tablet of the dexamethasone in the morning. My nurse said that it can cause insomnia (joy) so best to take in the morning. Then in the evening at 6:20ish pm I did another 10 unit shot of the microdose lupron. These first four days were extremely boring. I felt no symptoms and life continued as normal.

Day 4-8: I kept the same doses and times with the lupron and dexamethasone but I added 225iu of Gonal-F. After the evening shot the nausea was instant and hasn’t dissipated yet. I’ve been trying to stay hydrated and fed to help with the nausea but it’s pretty bad. and Staying fed is a mission all on it’s own because of the braces (I’ll do another post about adult braces). I’m also doing shots myself because N is asleep when I do the morning shot and he’s at work when I do the evening shot. Summer time is his busy time at work so I’m used to not really seeing him for most of the day but I still miss him terribly.

So here we are on day 8 and my first monitoring appointment. On other cycles I did the first appointment on day 5. Now if you take the start of Gonal-F as day 1 then technically this is day 5 as well. I am a little bummed (as I always am) that things aren’t what I expected but I think my expectations were unrealistic. Yes I was already expecting 20+ follicles at at least 14mm+ *rolls eyes at self*

Trying to stay focused and not lose energy. It’s hard. But I have a good support system. It’s going to be a good cycle!!

Best enjoyed with: I’ve been eating mostly soft veggies and hard boiled eggs because of my teeth. Eating has really been a miserable affair. But I am armed with a new meal plan and tomorrow is grocery shopping day. I’m excited to try some .. soft meat. ugh.

Outtakes:
This made me smile
IMG-20160726-WA0008

IVF Season 4: Episode 1-4

Date: 7.21 – 7.24

Starring: 10 units microdose lupron twice a day, 0.5mg tablet dexamethasone, 225iu Gonal-F twice a day (started yesterday)

Synopsis: So far so good. It’s been an uneventful first 4 days. No side effects to speak of. No bloat. It will be a whole week before my first monitoring appointment so I’m really flying blind. But I’m enjoying the blissful ignorance.

We added Gonal-F to the mix yesterday. I’m doing the morning shots myself and it’s almost a non-issue. There’s always that moment of panic before the needle goes in but it’s getting a whole lot easier.

Again, this cycle, like the last one is quite uneventful. Maybe on Thursday I’ll have something exciting to report. The only thing that’s bugging me is that after I stopped the pill I got a full period. Usually it’s just a day or 2 of bleeding but It’s still going right now and I’m annoyed. Other than that all’s well in stim land.

Happy Monday everyone!

Outakes:
This made me LOL.
IMG-20160724-WA0016

Please!

I didn’t get a call on Sunday for some reason but yesterday I heard that we only have three embryos left on day three.

I cried. Will we ever get more than 3 embryos to biopsy? The numbers are just getting worse and worse the more cycles we do. If this cycle fails I’m going to start looking at other clinics. And I really don’t want to do that. I love my clinic. I despise the distance with every ounce of my being but I know that driving in to Boston for appointments and such isn’t going to be fun either. Do I just stay the course then? Because the commute is my only gripe at this stage.

Anyway. So, three. They supposed to be biopsied tomorrow. Please please please guys, just hang in there. We need some good news, please.

Take Me Off This Ride Please

I forgot what a mind f*ck this can be. I don’t enjoy the ride. And add to that, my nurse didn’t call. I had to call her and then got voicemail so I sat in the car for a torturous 5 minutes before she called. I don’t want to play anymore. I just want to rest.

Thankfully, the news was good. 3 of my little monsters pulled through and were able to be biopsied.

We are not out of the woods yet but boy am I happy to be over this hurdle. Our follow up appointment is Jan 4th when we’ll get our results and next steps.

I’m so tired from all this worrying. And I’m so done with 2015. I’m going to go into serious holiday mode now.

Okay, I’m about to sleep my ass off right now. Thank you all for being hopeful when I had no hope. Couldn’t do it without you. xxx