Update on Lucky Bean

This has been the longest week of my life but I’m glad it’s over. But yesterday was nothing like I imagined it.

On Monday we had an horrendous PIO ordeal. N had to inject me 3 times. The first time he hit a nerve and the second there was blood. The third was fine but resulted in the worst bruise. He pleaded for me to call the nurse to find out if there’s something we could do. I eventually called on Wednesday and she said we would draw blood to check my progesterone and if it’s high enough we can stop. Of course I would do a gazillion more shots if it meant this would end happily but I’m not going to lie, I definitely dread PIO time now. Both of us do.

Wednesday, I must have cried a million times. My symptoms had all but disappeared and I took a pregnancy test and although the test line popped up immediately it was lighter than the control. N only got home after 9 so I was stuck in my head for most of the evening. When he got home I asked him if he wasn’t afraid that there would be nothing there. He simply said No. There was no reason for him to  be afraid. His only fear was that there would be twins lol. I’ve never met anyone going through infertility more opposed to the idea of twins.

Thursday both of us were up ridiculously early. Thankfully my symptoms came back in full force. I felt very calm. We were just sitting around for a while so we just decided to go in early. Good thing we did because traffic was atrocious and we got there with minutes to spare.

The ultrasound tech A came running out at 10 and said she has been waiting all morning for this. As we walked in with her she said she was so excited to see my name on the OB ultrasound list :). I love that they get so involved. As I was getting ready N was talking to her about recording the scan for family and she said sure but to let her first see what’s going on, just in case. She told me that she would be able to see right away so she wouldn’t leave me in suspense.

As soon as she put the probe in we saw the black circle. She said Awww loook. But I just saw the circle. She said N could go ahead and record and when she adjusted everything came into view perfectly.

I thought I would cry instantly (I’m welling up a bit now) but I think I was in disbelief. Lucky bean wasn’t moving or wiggling and I couldn’t see a heartbeat so I wasn’t breathing. Was A lying to us about everything being perfect?

She said that I was 7 weeks 5 days but this baby wants to be 8 weeks. She said it was the best looking baby she’d seen that day. I’m sure she says that to everyone but it made my day. The more she gushed the more relaxed I felt. She took loads of pics. Showed us the yolk sac which looked like a balloon that our little Pennywise was holding.

Then she showed us the heartbeat. So tiny. So perfect. We couldn’t hear it but there it was. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Everything else was good. No swollen ovaries. No SCH. Just the luckiest bean there ever has been.

Afterwards we met with L. One of our team nurses. I recognized the voice and she said we spoke on the phone before. She just went over all the pictures and answered our few questions. I’m an idiot. I forgot to write down all the questions I had and I just remembered another one. I’m going to have to call again. Anyway, after a longish discussion we were pretty much sent on our way with our pics and a handshake.

No chorus line. No fireworks. But it felt good. Certainly bittersweet like people describe but I think I kept my relationship with everyone very professional so even though I’d been there for almost 2 years I didn’t form any unbreakable bonds with anyone. I was sad that I didn’t see my RE or L my main nurse. I’m going to pop her an email later. She’s been with me since day one. We’ve only seen each other face to face twice but I’d really like to express my eternal gratitude even though she wasn’t my nurse with this successful round.

We also told pretty much everyone. Still missing N’s grandad, his brother on his mom’s side and he’s step dad and his aunts and uncles. But pretty much everyone on my side knows. And I told my boss this morning. He was very happy an excited. I still couldn’t say the words, I just said that our last round of IVF worked. We talked for a bit about symptoms etc etc and he just kept saying “That’s awesome… that’s awesome”.

So that’s where we are now. Oh after work yesterday I called my beloved OB to make and appointment and just as I suspected he doesn’t do prenatal care. They told me I could meet with anyone else at the office (Dr G and two midwives). You’ll remember Dr G from my awful OB post. I made an appointment with one of the midwives but they said that I would meet with all of them eventually because anyone could be there when I give birth… Uh, no thank you.

I have 2 other options for OB offices. One, my friend B recommended had midwives but I don’t like the OB’s. Dr Y was one of them, also from my awful OB post and I don’t want to be stuck with her at go time. My last option seems to be where I’m going to go but they don’t have midwives. I don’t know. I’m going to see what N thinks.

I still can’t believe I’m having this problem, though. Struggling to choose prenatal care… Me… Shitty egg girl.

It’s difficult to describe my feelings now. I feel like there are too many to process all at once. Thankfully I have years of infertility training to help.

Just one day at a time.

Phase III

Just a quick update We’re in the last leg now, my friends. 4 more sleeps!

I started progesterone yesterday morning. I had hoped that I would be required to start anytime in the morning. That way N could do it before I head to work. But alas, I had to start around 9am. That meant I had to ask the school nurses (thank goodness for that option) and allow 2 more people into this infertility circle.

I usually do my butt shots while standing. I don’t know why, I just felt better that way. But this morning she made me lie down and it was actually not bad. I think we’ll do them this way going forward.

So she did ask me if I was trying to get pregnant and I just said yes. I’ll give you two guesses on what she said about her fertility but I’m sure you’ll only need one :). If you guessed that her husband just looks at her and she’s pregnant, you would be correct. This one didn’t bug me, I was just super grateful that she did the shot for me.

N did the shot this morning while I was lying down. It wasn’t quite as quick and easy as the nurse’s. Some of the progesterone leaked out. Has anyone had this happen? N was very freaked out about it. I did a google search and it seems okay but I think we’ll go back to me standing shots. He seemed really shaken.

Nothing else to report on the FET front. I was supposed to post this yesterday but life got in the way which I’ll explain in my first April blog challenge post in a little bit.

4 more sleeps dudes… 4 more sleeps!

Let’s See

Last night I started BCP’s for this FET cycle. I’m a little shocked that it’s already go time. Granted this is going to be a very long cycle it feels like it’s happening quickly again.

My feelings are the same. Waxing and waning. Excited and Ugh what’s the point. Today I woke up with a beautiful sore throat that has me in quite a mood. The one year I get the flu shot I get sick twice. I know the flu shot only attempts to prevent the flu but I’m just annoyed that I was proactive in my not wanting to get sick this year and now look at me.

So today is an Ugh day. Truthfully I’m still skeptical. I was talking to my friend about it and even with my RE giving us all these good odds I still find myself self saying let’s see doc. Let’s just see.

This post doesn’t really have a point. Just wanted to mark the beginning of my 3rd transfer cycle.

Third transfer of yet another PGD tested normal embryo.

Different doctor.

Different protocol.

Same scenario.

Let’s see.

The End of an E.R.A.

Been dying to use that blog title for the longest time 🙂

And thus ends my ERA cycle. I am battered and bruised and so happy that it’s over. 7 weeks total. Here’s the breakdown if you’re interested.

December 25th: Period Starts. Pregnancy test negative duh.

December 27th: Start birth control pills for 3 weeks.

January 4th: Follow-up appointment with RE.

January 10th: Start daily Lupron sub-Q injections.

January 16th: Stop birth control. This is the longest month in human history.

January 19th: Baseline appointment. All systems go!

January 21st: First day of my period. 100 more days of January left.

January 23rd: Start daily 1mg estrogen pills and 1mg aspirin. Increase to 2mg estrogen at some point, then 4, then 6.

February 3rd: Stop Lupron injections.

February 5th: Start nightly Progesterone in Oil intra-muscular injections 1cc.

February 10th: Cycle ends with Endometrial Biopsy. Stop daily estrogen and aspirin.

February 14th: Stop Progesterone injections. Joy!

The biopsy was a nightmare as always and to make matters worse the nurse practitioner said that she had to do 2 biopsies. That was news to me and I actually cried when she left the room for a few seconds. One biopsy was for the ERA lab and the other was to test if my lining had any infections. Same as the first biopsy I had done. They have me scheduled for another HSG in March and I’m going to make them give me harder drugs. My friend B has so kindly offered to take me to the appointment so I hope they can do it on a day that fits her schedule. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to go through that much pain. I’m a woos and I’m proud!

And now we just wait for a period and we can start prepping to bring little Lucky home! I believe it’s suggested that you do another ERA if the result doesn’t come back as receptive but my RE doesn’t seem to think it’s necessary but gave me the choice. I am really averse to doing another one but let’s see if my RE changes his mind depending on what the results are.

So for now we are awaiting our next FET cycle. Big yay!! My app says 5 days til my period starts. Come on body, let’s get this party started!

BTW my ass hurts so much from the PIO shots. I can’t imagine doing them for 12 weeks or more. Besides ice and massaging do you guys have any tips on PIO shots? And itchy!! the injection sites are itchy as hell. I don’t think I’m allergic to the oil though. No serious skin reaction. Just itchy. Fun times.

 

 

 

 

Updates Updates Updates

I went to the wtf appointment by myself yesterday. We had words about it but whatev’s, I’m over it now. I was doing really well when the doctor came to get me. We were chit chatting about the weather and stuff but when I sat down he got really serious and quiet and apologised for the negative and he can’t imagine the toll this is taking on us, blah blah blah. I was fine up until then, then I had to blink away tears and make an awkward joke. I can’t even remember what it was.

So he said a few things. It could be my lining so we’re going to do an endometrial biopsy and another hysteroscopy at the same time. Thankfully we’ll do this with the next cycle while I’m on bcp’s so there’ll not be a delay. Yay! He said it could also still be other genetic issues with the embryos that they can’t pick up in PGS. Bleh. We’ll try this next round with the biopsy and go from there. He keeps saying that all his translocation patients have to work a little harder and have to do more rounds than any other couple would so I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for a long road.

I asked if there’s a chance I could have endometriosis and he said that from what he has on file and what I’ve told him that it’s not likely and if I did that it wouldn’t be worse than stage 1 or 2 and he wouldn’t want to do a laparoscopy out since it’s invasive. 20 bucks says by round 5 I’ll be booked for one, stat :).

What else did he say? Oh, I asked about egg quality and he checked his notes and said that the folks in the lab commented that they weren’t the prettiest and they weren’t jumping up and down about them but also that in his experience he’s seen women with the same comments go one to have successful pregnancies and we’re getting fertilization and blastocysts so he’s not worried about that.

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As for protocol, my first round I was on a 75iu Menopur and Gonal F  and we slowly increased and triggered with HCG in the butt. I ended up with 14 eggs, 13 mature. The second I was on 150iu Menopur and Gonal F (I believe) and we slowly increased and triggered with HCG in the tummy. I ended up with 12 eggs, 7 mature. So he decided to do a mix of both rounds and use a Lupron trigger next time. So we’re doing 75iu Menopur and 150 Gonal F and we’ll go from there. Also, the clinic has switched from Ganirelix to Cetrotide for insurance purposes. Yay for no more blunt needles!

I also got to meet the new nurse D. He was really sweet. I feel bad for being mean to him now. But all in all it was a good appointment I think. I always forget to ask questions. But I think I covered everything. Whatever, can we just start? If my body plays along, we should be ready to kick things off in 16 days. Whoop! Let’s go!

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And some shitty insurance news of course… Because what IVF cycle would be complete without insurance woes. So they still haven’t paid my claim for the genetics testing. I called about a month ago and the young lady said that the claim was there but that it takes about 40 days. Okay, fine. It’s now been 2 months and I called again (I really should have called sooner) only to find out that some genius tagged the claim as Fitness & Wellness and not Medical so no one’s looked at it…for 2 months… 2 months.

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Thankfully, the guy (another D.. his name is D. Not D as in, well, you know), gave me his email address and he said he’d have them expedite the claim and he’d get it sorted out asap. Yaaaa…What?  Nope, D found another issue. Apparently, I’d sent the wrong bill. It didn’t have any of the codes that were needed.

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But again, D said to just call the genetics lab and have them send over the correct bill and to forward to him directly so that we can get it fixed up real quick. Great. I quickly hopped on the line with the genetics lab and very nice yet somewhat unsure-of-herself older woman told me that they should send me an itemized bill in about 5 business days. I have a feeling I’m going to have to follow up on this but for now we’ll leave it up to the infertility gods.

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Anyway, that’s all I have for now. Life is going to be dull again for the next 16 days but I’ll find some stuff to blog about.

Time to catch up on what’s going on in your lives.

xx

5, 6 and 7dpt

So no one cared that I didn’t drink on Saturday :). To be fair I only knew 2 out of the 5 of us there so why would anyone question why I wasn’t drinking? I spent most of the night sipping on water and staring longingly at a beautiful block of blue cheese. It was actually a fun night considering that the host and I were the only 2 non-moms (we both have 3 cats each, that’s why I love her). I really enjoyed listening to them tell funny stories about their kids. Kids are great. I should try to have some… Oh wait.

Sunday passed without any excitement. I was a bit naughty and painted 2 doors outside. I figured what could be more ventilated than outside right? Of course if we get a negative I’ll of course blame the painting but at least I’ll have some pretty painted doors to look at and wipe my tears on.

Yesterday I had a cleaning at the dentist. I told gave her the list of medication I’m on. She asked why the aspirin and I explained about the IVF and she just smiled the smile of one who didn’t know what to say. She then mentioned x-rays and I asked if it was okay to get x-rays if there’s a possibility thaaat, you know, IVF. She got the hint but I physically couldn’t say the word pregnant. Strange. Anyway, the cleaning hurt more than I was used to and so much blood. Possibly because of the aspirin, but I survived. I usually enjoy going to the dentist but she hurt me. The good news is that the dentist signed off on my braces and faxed over the papers to the Orthodontist. All I need now is a down payment and I can go ahead and make my appointment to get my braces! I can’t wait!!!

Today we’re 7dp6dt. Still no symptoms but I’m feeling more positive than negative. I was actually telling my friends today that I need to prepare myself for the possibility that this could be negative. It’s going to suck to start from scratch but we have 5 more rounds. A negative beta is going to break me a little more but it won’t be the end. I’ve also decided to tell my boss that we’re doing IVF if it comes back negative. It feels like the right thing to do.

THREE MORE SLEEPS!! I’m in bed already. Hubs is playing online video games with some friends and I have a hot date with Hugh the Hand… No! It’s a character in the book I’m reading… Really, it is!

Go Time Already?

I’m a little shocked that it’s Go time tomorrow. I just got the call to be there at 10:15 for an 11:15 transfer. They’ll call by 8:30 tomorrow to confirm everything. I hope they don’t call me to go in earlier because it takes an hour and a bit to get there without traffic and my acupuncture appointment is at 8.

But I’m not going to stress about it. My second acupuncture appointment is at 3.30 which isn’t ideal but it’s the only time he could squeeze me in. I’ve bought a Groupon (I love my Groupons) for lunch at a burger place that we can go to before the 2nd acupuncture appointment. The only thing is that I’m going to take the Valium so I’m probably going to be napping in the car.

Again, not stressing about anything. We’re going to let everything happen as is it should. I do feel like the world’s butterflies have settled in my stomach though. It’s 5pm now and I feel like I want to go to bed already.

N is back from his trip and he brought me a very pretty pair of earrings which I intend to wear tomorrow but I don’t have an outfit planned like last time aside from a pair of egg socks of course.

Just wanted to give you all a quick update and I’ll update as soon as I get home tomorrow.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!

I’m trying to keep calm but really…

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