FET 1 Complete

Everything went perfectly fine and I am now heavy one 5AA graded day 7 blastocyst!

We got to the clinic about 20 minutes early so we sat in the car and listened to a really trashy podcast. We’re trashy people and watch trashy reality tv and now we listen to trashy podcasts that review the trashy reality tv.

At 8 I went in for pre-transfer acupunture. I managed to get really relaxed so that helped a little until my bladder started bothering me. Our transfer was set for 9:30 so I started drinking at 9 but alas. 9:30 came and went and I was in dire straights by the time the nurse came to get us at 9:50.

I always thought these things were so strictly timed. I can’t remember our other transfers being late but either way. A Dr P did the transfer. He was fine. Definitely not enough time to get a read on him. At least he was gentle right? The ultrasound tech was lovely. She explained everything in detail again. And time time we got a picture!! I get sad every time I think about not getting a picture of Lucky. I’ve asked several times and no one has ever gotten back to me. Actually, I don’t know if it’s sadness or irritation that my need for things to be even and in order was disrupted. I have pictures of every single embryo transferred except him.

Anyway, I did acupuncture again afterwards. I could only relax for half the session then I started getting antsy. I think because the first I was on my stomach and the second I was on my back and I do better laying on my stomach as far as relaxing goes. She put needles in my wrists but they’re the kind that you can attach with tiny stickers so they can stay in. She said I should keep them in over night. I’m about to take them out now. She said something about that being the heart 7 point related to calmness.

We eventually got home and N had to go to work. I had some lunch then took my parents to Target so mom could start buying gifts for family back home. She has 6 grandkids over there now. It was cute watching her forget their names and get flustered with the amount of stuff she needed. She’s truly blessed.

I laid down for a bit when we got home and then we went all went out to dinner. Nothing fancy. Just the cheap Chinese buffet down the road. Omg Lucky was in his element. This kid loves to eat and seeing so much food was such a treat for him. He was squealing with excitement all through dinner. He shoveled handfuls of noodles into his mouth and ate everything off everyone’s plate. He spooned chocolate pudding over his watermelon and screamed with delight when he experienced the flavour in his mouth. It was so so funny. And then when we weren’t looking he grabbed a handful of wasabi and ate it!! He was fine and it really was funny. His eyes started watering and he was saying “ahh ahhh” really quietly. And then when the burn ended he whispered to himself “too ‘picy”. He’s a funny guy. I love his greedy little body.

We were pretty toast after that. N had a rough day of work installing four 125lb batteries into a boat so he’s body was screaming by the time we got into bed. And I think the acupuncture or the progesterone or just the excitement of the day tuckered me out. All three of us passed out almost immediately.

And that is that. Beta is set for Monday the 19th. Again, I don’t think I’ll test before but I do have dental surgery set for next Thursday and I’m not sure how to navigate that. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want to have to use the P word pre-emptively and I don’t want to have to explain IVF to them if they don’t understand. So maybe I’ll test on Thursday morning. That’ll be 7dpt. Ugh that may be too early. Okay, I’m not going to worry about it now.

Okay, I’m off to do some more laying down. I’ll check in again before beta. Wow, I’m still kinda in disbelief here. What if this really works?

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Phase III

Just a quick update We’re in the last leg now, my friends. 4 more sleeps!

I started progesterone yesterday morning. I had hoped that I would be required to start anytime in the morning. That way N could do it before I head to work. But alas, I had to start around 9am. That meant I had to ask the school nurses (thank goodness for that option) and allow 2 more people into this infertility circle.

I usually do my butt shots while standing. I don’t know why, I just felt better that way. But this morning she made me lie down and it was actually not bad. I think we’ll do them this way going forward.

So she did ask me if I was trying to get pregnant and I just said yes. I’ll give you two guesses on what she said about her fertility but I’m sure you’ll only need one :). If you guessed that her husband just looks at her and she’s pregnant, you would be correct. This one didn’t bug me, I was just super grateful that she did the shot for me.

N did the shot this morning while I was lying down. It wasn’t quite as quick and easy as the nurse’s. Some of the progesterone leaked out. Has anyone had this happen? N was very freaked out about it. I did a google search and it seems okay but I think we’ll go back to me standing shots. He seemed really shaken.

Nothing else to report on the FET front. I was supposed to post this yesterday but life got in the way which I’ll explain in my first April blog challenge post in a little bit.

4 more sleeps dudes… 4 more sleeps!

Let’s See

Last night I started BCP’s for this FET cycle. I’m a little shocked that it’s already go time. Granted this is going to be a very long cycle it feels like it’s happening quickly again.

My feelings are the same. Waxing and waning. Excited and Ugh what’s the point. Today I woke up with a beautiful sore throat that has me in quite a mood. The one year I get the flu shot I get sick twice. I know the flu shot only attempts to prevent the flu but I’m just annoyed that I was proactive in my not wanting to get sick this year and now look at me.

So today is an Ugh day. Truthfully I’m still skeptical. I was talking to my friend about it and even with my RE giving us all these good odds I still find myself self saying let’s see doc. Let’s just see.

This post doesn’t really have a point. Just wanted to mark the beginning of my 3rd transfer cycle.

Third transfer of yet another PGD tested normal embryo.

Different doctor.

Different protocol.

Same scenario.

Let’s see.

1 and 2dpt

Yesterday was a good day. I had the day off so spent most of the morning Skyping with my parents. We spoke for at least 2 hours. They’re so cute. The told me that they fasted the entire day on transfer day and lit candles. They were electric so that they wouldn’t have to worry about burning the house down.

At one point I moved from the bed to the couch and they yelled at me to not move and to lay down with my feet elevated. I was given a lecture on what’s going on in my body right now and how self-care is important. They also told me about the importance of thinking of a happy place. A place I can go to in my mind to find calm.

It was really lovely talking to them. I was sad to end it but Mum had to go to church and Dad had some tv watching to do I think.

I am trying to do a social media break. I find that I’m a little too addicted to grabbing my phone every few minutes and I really should have just stayed off. I actually need to delete these apps for the next 2 weeks I think. Just to try and focus on other things. I really wanted to finish my book but I only read about 2 chapters yesterday. Pathetic. Anyway, I did stumble on a very surprising FB pregnancy announcement in my IVF group. A surprise natural pregnancy after ivf baby. Those are fun, huh. A little jealousy mixed in with overwhelming happiness?

After that I started feeling antsy and ended up Googling what should be happening at each stage after transfer (see below). I wasn’t feeling any twinges or anything. I feel pulling on my left side if I sit/lie still for too long but that’s it. Nothing else. Today, I noticed a very teeny tiny little bit of brown discharge and a tiny bit of heartburn but nothing else. Of course it’s too early and I’m trying my best to not symptom spot but it’s probably going to be an exercise in futility.

When I couldn’t stand laying down any longer I decided to meal prep for the rest of the week. I definitely found my calm doing that. So much so that I’ve decided to cook as often as I can for the next 8 days until beta to keep my mind occupied. I did the menu at work (I know I spoke about Yumprint before but if you want to meal plan like a boss, this is the site to use). Trying to keep it warm and comforting. It’s only a few meals. Enough for leftovers and lunch. I’m not big on breakfast during the week and N usually just has a yogurt with fruit. I do big breakfasts on Saturdays and Sundays.

So I’ll leave it there for today. Here’s our menu. Most of the recipes are off pinterest. I’m not sure if it’s cool to post a recipe that isn’t yours but I’ll attach links to the sources if anyone is interested.

roze-menukaart-2

Today:
San Choy Bow

Friday:
Low Carb Chili Dog Bake
Ham and Cheese Roll Ups

Sunday:
Copycat Panera Broccoli and Cheddar Soup

Tuesday:
Portuguese Kale Soup (MIL’s recipe)

Optional Extra:
Sweet Potato Gnocchi with Bolognaise

Friday:
DINNER OUT TO CELEBRATE OR DROWN SORROWS

5DTDevelopment

Thank you

Well we made it! All three of us are sitting on the couch watching tv. It was a good day. A very good day.

Woke up at 6 in good spirits. I even made breakfast before we headed out. It made us a little late for acupuncture but it wasn’t too bad. The drive from acupuncture to the clinic was long. Long enough for doubt to creep in. My good spirits we all but gone when we got there.

Got to the clinic 15 minutes early. The clinic was jam packed with 5 couples ahead of us. They were also running an hour late. I started stressing our more and getting irritated. Someone brought a toddler to the clinic and she was downstairs yelling for her mama forever. Then the couple next to us were chewing gum very loudly. Thank goodness the valium kicked in and I was less tense but still had a bad feeling about everything for some reason. Just generally not feeling confident.

Since it was an hour delay I ended up emptying my bladder three times. When I got back from the 2nd time the young lady next to me asked what time we were going in. They were 15 minutes after us. We chatted for a while. They were the loveliest couple and I felt bad for judging their loud gum chewing. She and another lady across the way had valium as well and the 3 of us had a very spirited, giggly conversation. The waiting room was abuzz with laughter as we complained about our hatred for Crinone and the fact that we all have to drive hours to get to the clinic. I wish I’d gotten their names because they really made me feel relaxed and in a much better place. She, in particular, was so funny. It was their 2nd transfer as well. I really hope everyone there had good transfers.

Eventually, when they called us back the Valium had worn off and my bladder was getting very uncomfortable. Then the next best thing happened. Our RE walked in. He actually did the transfer! As I was sitting on the table the embryologist walked in and the best best thing happened. I caught a quick glimpse at the picture and I saw 2 bubbles. RE asked if it was hatching and embryologist nodded. I couldn’t believe it!! Our little fighter hatched! It was turning out to be a great day.

Not even the speculum could dampen my spirits. Okay it did a little but everyone was so nice. N held me hand while I gritted my teeth through the pain. There was about 5 minutes where we just had to wait while the embryologist got ready. Luckily it wasn’t an awkward 5 minutes. Everyone was chatting about boats. I think they were explicitly trying to get me to calm down and it totally worked.

Transfer itself went smoothly. I didn’t have to lay still afterwards. I just emptied my bladder and we rolled out. I don’t think it could have gone any better. I’m so happy our little hatchling made it.

The groupon lunch didn’t pan out because the restaurant is closed on Tuesdays. Ugh. We then googled a mexican place, drove all the way there only to find an empty building. Thanks Google. Ended up finding a brunch hole in the wall and had pretty decent sandwiches.

Thankfully, I could squeeze into my next acupuncture appointment early. Nothing exciting to report there. And now we’re home relaxing to the max.

I must say that the best part of this cycle wasn’t the happy waiting room, nor my RE doing the transfer. Not even the hatching embryo.

The best part was including my family and friends and all of you in this. Last time going through this felt really lonely and this time I felt the love and the collective rooting for our little hatchling and it’s something I’ll always be grateful for. Even if this doesn’t work I’m so happy to have shared it with everyone. No one should go through any part of this journey alone.

Thank you for being there.

[edit: picture removed for anonymity]

 

Go Time Already?

I’m a little shocked that it’s Go time tomorrow. I just got the call to be there at 10:15 for an 11:15 transfer. They’ll call by 8:30 tomorrow to confirm everything. I hope they don’t call me to go in earlier because it takes an hour and a bit to get there without traffic and my acupuncture appointment is at 8.

But I’m not going to stress about it. My second acupuncture appointment is at 3.30 which isn’t ideal but it’s the only time he could squeeze me in. I’ve bought a Groupon (I love my Groupons) for lunch at a burger place that we can go to before the 2nd acupuncture appointment. The only thing is that I’m going to take the Valium so I’m probably going to be napping in the car.

Again, not stressing about anything. We’re going to let everything happen as is it should. I do feel like the world’s butterflies have settled in my stomach though. It’s 5pm now and I feel like I want to go to bed already.

N is back from his trip and he brought me a very pretty pair of earrings which I intend to wear tomorrow but I don’t have an outfit planned like last time aside from a pair of egg socks of course.

Just wanted to give you all a quick update and I’ll update as soon as I get home tomorrow.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!

I’m trying to keep calm but really…

giphy (1)

 

I’m all alone

It feels like every year around this time N has to work out of town. Always the same client and always rushed. So Monday evening started with me making dinner and by the end of dinner he had booked a flight and was gone by this morning at 3. I didn’t even really get a chance to come to terms with being alone for the rest of the week. But this happens every year so I really shouldn’t be surprised.

Now don’t get me wrong, I hate when he’s not here. I can’t sleep as well and I miss him terribly. But on the flip side, I get to not meal plan (no sense for just one). I get to watch what I want. I get to not watch anything and just read for 5 days. Besides for the lonely pit in my stomach there’s a part of me that just loves some time for myself.

I don’t even know where to start! So I’m obviously not doing anything and watching Friends on tv. I don’t even know what I’m going to eat. Eeek!

Anyway, in FET news. I had my last monitoring appointment this morning. My lining is at 8.28 and they want it above 8 so we’re right on track. New nurse said they’d call on Monday to let me know what time to go in for my FET on Tuesday!

I’m excited, but not as excited as I am for all this free time I have this week!

Hope everyone is having a good week so far. And thank you everyone for cheering us on thus far. I can totally feel the love from here!

xx