Tag Archives: icsi

Family Day & Funny Dreams

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IVF ROUND 5

DAY 3
(Sunday Nov 6)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=26.49; LH=4. 68; progesterone=0.226; lining=4.9mm; antral follicles=13 

I had a very strange dream last night that I was at my clinic just waking up from my retrieval. Nate was sitting on the bed next to me and what looked like most of my clinic’s staff were seated in the room around me. My new RE, my old RE and my nurse were all there as well. Then a bird flew in through the window and gave a note to my nurse (wth!) and she opened it and said “Oh it’s from the PGD lab”.

The note said that they would be closed for Thanksgiving so I wouldn’t get my results until after that weekend but they can let me know the 2 of the 3 embryos are brother and sister.

Everyone cheered and hugged but my RE said that we shouldn’t get too excited because  we don’t have the results yet but so far so good.

And then I woke up.

Now I don’t think dreams mean anything. I used to but I haven’t been able to find a correlation between dreams and reality in my life yet so I think it’s just a manifestation of what’s on my mind at the time. I just thought I’d write it down and I especially thought the bird was a nice touch. Thanks brain :).

We spent the day with N’s family today. His gran had a heart attack this week and we went to see her with his mom and his 2 aunts. She’s doing well, his gran. She looked good today,  just tired. They’re just trying to get her medication doses in order before she can go home.

We spent most of the afternoon at the hospital chatting and joking around and then we all went to IHOP for a late brunch. I did have half a pancake at IHOP because I think it’s illegal to not have a pancake at IHOP… It is illegal… Trust me. 🙂

On the stim side of things. While I was driving today I felt a sharp pain on my right side. I really really hope that’s my lazy right ovary getting her ass in gear for once.

 

Emotional: The tingly right ovary is making me excited!

Physical: Every present nausea and dizziness. Please make it stop.

Food: Boiled egg for breakfast. 2 Scrambled eggs, 2 sausages and half a pancake for late lunch. Too full for dinner.

 

Well That’s New

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IVF ROUND 5

DAY 2
(Saturday Nov 5)

Meds: 300iu Gonal-f , 150iu Menopur 

Notes: estrogen=26.49; LH=4. 68; progesterone=0.226; lining=4.9mm; antral follicles=13 

 

Today was fun I stayed in bed until 10ish then we rushed around to get ready to go to run some errands and as soon as I took my first bite of breakfast the world started spinning and I got really hot and my heart started racing and I thought I was going to puke. Took my a few minutes to pull myself towards myself.

I managed to get myself together and we got all our stuff done but I was a mess for the rest of the day.  I tried cleaning the kitchen but I kept getting the hot flashes and dizzy spells so I just threw in the towel (literally) and went to lie down and whatsapped with everyone back home in a dimly lit room.

I only really felt better when it was time to get dinner ready and mix up the next round of meds. I’m back under the covers now doing some online shopping, still feeling a tab woozy.

I don’t know if this is due to the medication or my period or what. I remember being dizzy towards the end of the cycle but not this early on. Oh well, I’m just staying hydrated and taking it easy.

Emotional: Feeling good. “Ain’t nothin gonna to break my stride. Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no. I got to keep on movin”

Physical: Dizzyyyyy

Food: Breakfast was 90 second bread with cheese and sugar-free jam. An orange for lunch. Then stuffed chicken breast with bacon jam green beans for dinner and a block of dark chocolate for dessert.

Music to match my mood

IVF Cycle 5 Begins

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I wish I was better at remembering these anniversaries. I was just revisiting my previous cycles and realised that last Wednesday marked 2 years since my first stim injection. It really feels like a longer lol.

I was re-reading specifically my most successful cycle. The one we’re copying now and it turns out it was round about this time as well. I enjoyed reading it. I think I was in a good space as far as excitement and positivity are concerned.

Comparing that cycle to now, the excitement and positivity are lessened somewhat with the memory of four failures versus one. Not to say that I’m not excited and positive. I am. I’m just not as naive as before but I’m trying to not let it get me down.

Anyway, I just finished my last birth control pill last night and when I held it in my hand last night it hit me that there’s a chance that it could be my last bcp ever. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it that way before and that really excited me.

I had my baseline appointment this morning, just waiting on results and instructions but I should be starting stims on Friday. So there will be a full period coming soon. Yay.

This is going to be another boring daily chronicling of a cycle and for that I apologise, ahead of time. I just enjoyed re-reading and I appreciated the details. Thanks 2015 me!

Anyway, I don’t have anything to report today. I didn’t get an antral follicle count at the ultrasound because I didn’t want it to depress me. Other than that, I’ve contacted the genetics lab and we’re all set to go and my meds get delivered today. I’m also confident that the results call today will be good so I guess I’ll just leave you all to it until Friday.

Here’s to an uneventful but speedy week!

IVF Round Five

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Here we go again! It was touch and go for a few days but here we go again.

I had planned to start this cycle with this month’s period but by Monday I’d started spotting and hadn’t received insurance approval yet. I called the clinic only to find out they hadn’t even sent the request to the insurance! I was shocked.

The nurse told me she’d find out where my request was in the queue and she’d call me the next do to let me know if we can start but it didn’t look good.

The following day the nurse called to say that they wouldn’t be able to send in my request in time and I’d have to do the cycle next month. Sigh. I was very sad but I made peace with it. Decided that more time to prepare can only be beneficial so I was okay with starting next month.

Then Wednesday she called again and turned my world upside down. They’d actually sent off the request the previous day and I had the go-ahead to start birth control. Well I had to do the mandatory preggo test the following morning but for all intents and purposes, we were a go.

So Wednesday was a pretty fantastic day to begin with and then N called to let me know that our new RE contacted him with results from his latest sperm sample that was to be frozen. You’ll remember that we were going to send these results to the urologist to let us know if it was a good sample or not. Well it turns out that the sample was excellent. The count had doubled and the motility was great. Of course since my husband took the call we didn’t get any numbers but I can just get the numbers when I call them again.

We’re still waiting on approval so obviously the thief of joy that this journey is, isn’t letting me celebrate just yet. I’m just taking my pills as instructed. If everything goes according to plan I’ll start stims around the first week of November. We’re doing 300iu Gonal-f and 150iu Menopur. The same protocol from round 2 which yielded or record 3 embryos to test.

So we’ll take it one day at a time and I’ll try to keep a level head but I like the sound of this cycle so far… so far.

 

IVF: Season 3, Episode 3-5

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Date: 4.18.16 – 4.20.16

Starring: 75iu Menopur, 300iu Gonal-F, 5mg Melatonin, Ubiquinol, Pre-natal, Vit C, D, E, B12.

Directed by:
Left Ovary – biggest at 11mm
Right Ovary – biggest at 12mm and 11mm

Synopsis: This really has been the most boring cycle. And tiring. It’s probably the melatonin but I’ve been a zombie all week. But all in all, I’m happy about the mundanity. No surprises, no stress.

All shots have gone off without a hitch. Had my first monitoring appointment this morning. She said I have 5 on one ovary and 3 on another but didn’t say which had which. But shout out to my right ovary for having the 2 biggest so far. My lazy girl has come to the party finally! The voicemail the nurse left wasn’t very informative. She just said, everything is going well and to go back on Friday with Ganirelix. No estrodiol levels or anything. At first I wanted to call to find out but I’m okay not knowing. It’s too early for anything and I don’t want to go on a comparing frenzy anyway. Calm and boring is the name of this game.

So far so good 🙂

Food: Been generally healthy (low carb, low sugar, no booze), minus the cake and prosecco on Sunday. No interesting recipes. In fact, we need to go grocery shopping.

Outtakes: (Prince Eric’s face cracks me up)

How-it-was-supposed-to-be-

source: collegehumor

 

Take Me Off This Ride Please

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I forgot what a mind f*ck this can be. I don’t enjoy the ride. And add to that, my nurse didn’t call. I had to call her and then got voicemail so I sat in the car for a torturous 5 minutes before she called. I don’t want to play anymore. I just want to rest.

Thankfully, the news was good. 3 of my little monsters pulled through and were able to be biopsied.

We are not out of the woods yet but boy am I happy to be over this hurdle. Our follow up appointment is Jan 4th when we’ll get our results and next steps.

I’m so tired from all this worrying. And I’m so done with 2015. I’m going to go into serious holiday mode now.

Okay, I’m about to sleep my ass off right now. Thank you all for being hopeful when I had no hope. Couldn’t do it without you. xxx

Not Out Yet

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HI! Sorry I’ve been quiet, it’s been a busy 6 days. Let’s catch you up, shall we?

On Saturday I pretty much vegged all day. N was at work and I literally didn’t get off the couch. On day 1 they said that 7 embryos were icsi’d and all 7 fertilized. Yay!

On Sunday I needed to get out of the house so I went grocery and christmas shopping for 4 hours and came home and meal prepped for another 4 hours. I was feeling really down in Stop ‘n Shop. I was stressed out and not feeling confident. 7 embryos from 12 is 58% and that’s right on track with ICSI so we were doing good. But I know you all know that feeling and grocery shopping (my favourite thing to do) wasn’t helping. When the nurse called while I was in the organic aisle my heart stopped. I wish I could guage if it’s good or bad news by the way they say “This is so-and-so from Dr so-and-so’s office”, but I can never do it. I wonder what training they go through. Anyway, on day two, thankfully, all seven were still going strong. Sunday was a good day. Or so I thought.

After four hours of cooking we decided to put the tree up and do a final cleaning of the unfinished dining room. We’ll continue work after christmas. I went to lie down after dinner and immediately fell ill. The flu symptoms hit me like a ton of bricks and my ovaries were aching. Actually everything was achy and my skin was sensitive and I’m sure I was dying. I ended up taking all sorts of flu meds and called it a night. Even if I died, my seven babies still had a chance.

On Monday I still felt like I was hit by a truck but I had a meeting and decided to be brave. I do not advise that you leave the house when you have flu symptoms. It was the longest most painful day ever. I couldn’t really take deep breaths which was worrying but I’m one of those people who feels extreme guilt when it comes to taking time off work so again, I powered through. Actually, I just sat at my desk staring at the screen until it came time to leave. I honestly hadn’t thought about my seven little monsters until I got the phone call on the way home. We were down to five. Two arrested. I wouldn’t get an update until Wednesday when they would tell us how many were biopsied. Five is good. Last time on day three we had 2. So I was feeling good amidst feeling really really poorly. I got home stripped down and climbed into bed and didn’t get out until Tuesday.

Tuesday came and I was feeling midly better. flu symptoms had dissipated but the heavy abdomen was still an issue. I decided to call in sick and do some serious resting. I totally overdid it on Sunday and I was beating myself up. Tuesday was much like Saturday. I dragged myself to the couch and watched Netflix all day. By the time N came home I was feeling like my old self again. If we have to do this again, I’m going to be a lot more strict with myself about resting and the whole protein electrolyte thing. We actually had a bit of a tiff on Saturday because I wasn’t being proactive. He was annoyed that I wasn’t taking the nurse’s warning seriously but I honestly felt okay on Saturday. In retrospect I think I may have had mild OHSS. This was definitely the worst I’ve felt after an egg retrieval. I do not want to go through that again.

Back at work yesterday and it was business as usual. I actually had my 90 day review which I “passed” with flying colours. It was a good ego boost, something I desparately needed and I’m glad he thinks I’m doing a good job. I was worried he’d bring up the fact that I’ve missed 2.5 days of work since I started. As I’m writing this I’m silently stressing about asking for the 4th off for my follow up appointment. I want the whole day. I really don’t want to come in on the first day of the new year. I want to ease myself into 2016. Let’s see how it goes.

Yesterday was day 5. My 5 boogers were supposed to be biopsied. I sent them all positive vibes and told them how proud I was. I wondered what time they do biopsy. Is it as soon as they become blastocysts or do they wait a bit? I was very nervous. Guilty that I didn’t spend as much time thinking about them as I should have while I was sick. I just hoped that everything was going well. A little confident because up until now everything was going well. Again, the call came as I was driving home. It did not go as I’d expected.

We were down to four… They were still morulas… They hadn’t been biopsied… They would call tomorrow to see if any were biopsied.

I was shocked. I honestly expected most to drop off. But I didn’t expect them all to be slow growers. I texted N when I got home. His response was simply “Shit”. That sums it up perfectly. Of course there’s always room for hope, so hope we shall. When he got home he said they were probably just taking their time and proceeded to talk about something else. I don’t know how husbands can be calm at times like these, but it’s appreciated. I think that’s why they make husbands.

Anyway, that’s where we are at now. I’m okay. I knew this was going to be a tough road for us. We can do this again next month if need be and if these 4 make it then great! It’ll be okay. We’re not out yet. t-minus seven hours until we find out the next steps.

I Survived

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First things first, It hurt! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t do pain. I’m the one who takes pain killers as soon as she sees her period starts. That way I don’t have to deal with the pain when it comes. They told me to take 600mg of Ibuprofen, I took 800 and it was still unbearable. That being said, if you’re waiting to do a hysteroscopy, this is not the post to read. I am an outlier.

I arrived at the clinic and hour early of course and we got going almost right on time. Me, Dr G, new nurse and veteran nurse showing her the ropes. They were doing less nursing and more standing in the corner judging my loser behaviour. I did ask the doctor why we were just looking today and not going in there with a pair of scissors and lopping off whatever didn’t belong. He said that he’s not sure that there’s anything there in the first place and if it’s a fibroid they wouldn’t be able to “lop” it off anyway. The other procedure is like a surgery and it might not be necessary here. I guess he was right, so I let him continue.

The speculum didn’t hurt more than it normally does, the iodine (I think that’s what it was) was uncomfy. The camera going in was painless and then came the saline solution. Cue cramps and swearing. It just felt like really bad period cramps. But more sharp. Localized in my ass for some reason. Anyway, over the internal screams in my head, I kept hearing the doctor say “picture” … “you’re doing great, just 10 more seconds”… “picture” (10 seconds later) “just 8 more seconds” (what?!!) “you’re doing great”… “picture”… “picture”…”aand we’re done”. And that was it.

The pain went away immediately after he took everything out. There was a gush of saline solution. Awesome. And then he took his sweet time to tell me that he saw nothing. I was so relieved because there was a 10 second pause where he looked a bit worried. But there you have it. He said can start the next cycle with my next period. Woohoo!!

No not yet… there’s still the matter of payment. So it looks like we have to pay for PGD testing up front. It does get fully reimbursed which is great. So I really can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but we don’t have 5K lying around so we have to make a plan for that. Hopefully we can find a quick solution. But that also brings me to my next issue.

So, luckily my clinic opens at 6:30 for monitoring appointments and Monday I had to do a blood preggo test but work starts at 7 and I rolled in at 7:20. I’m not happy about that. My boss is cool about coming in late. He said coming in around 7:15 is fine but I really wasn’t happy and it doesn’t sit well with me that I’ll have to do this almost every day for 2 weeks without a good reason (I know this is best reason but it’s too soon to share this with him). Especially since it’s a new job and I’m still on probation.

I’m eager to start my next cycle. I’m so ready. I’m so very ready, but I also want to make a good impression because I really love this job. Where do I find a balance? I feel like I should sit out the next cycle and try for November (if we get the funds). I’ll be out of probation by then and I’ll find out if my boss even wants me to stay. And also, We may have to save up for a long time too so this could all be a moot point.

Sorry this was a long rambling post. I apologize for being all over the place. Thank you for keeping me in my thoughts and sending well wishes. They all seem to have worked.